·41· Second Act.
·43· SCENE—Drawing-room at Hunstanton, after dinner, lamps lit. Door L.C. Door R.C.
[Ladies seated on sofas.]
mrs. allonby
What a comfort it is to have got rid of the men for a little!
lady stutfield
Yes; men persecute us dreadfully, don’t they?
mrs. allonby
Persecute us? I wish they did.
lady hunstanton
My dear!
mrs. allonby
The annoying thing is that the wretches can be perfectly happy without us. That is why I think it is every woman’s duty never to leave them ·44· alone for a single moment, except during this short breathing space after dinner; without which I believe we poor women would be absolutely worn to shadows.
[Enter Servants with coffee.]
lady hunstanton
Worn to shadows, dear?
mrs. allonby
Yes, Lady Hunstanton. It is such a strain keeping men up to the mark. They are always trying to escape from us.
lady stutfield
It seems to me that it is we who are always trying to escape from them. Men are so very, very heartless. They know their power and use it.
lady caroline
[Takes coffee from Servant.] What stuff and nonsense all this about men is! The thing to do is to keep men in their proper place.
mrs. allonby
But what is their proper place, Lady Caroline?
lady caroline
Looking after their wives, Mrs. Allonby.
·45· mrs. allonby
[Takes coffee from Servant.] Really? And if they’re not married?
lady caroline
If they are not married, they should be looking after a wife. It’s perfectly scandalous the amount of bachelors who are going about society. There should be a law passed to compel them all to marry within twelve months.
lady stutfield
[Refuses coffee.] But if they’re in love with some one who, perhaps, is tied to another?
lady caroline
In that case, Lady Stutfield, they should be married off in a week to some plain respectable girl, in order to teach them not to meddle with other people’s property.
mrs. allonby
I don’t think that we should ever be spoken of as other people’s property. All men are married women’s property. That is the only true definition of what married women’s property really is. But we don’t belong to any one.
lady stutfield
Oh, I am so very, very glad to hear you say so.
·46· lady hunstanton
But do you really think, dear Caroline, that legislation would improve matters in any way? I am told that, now-a-days, all the married men live like bachelors, and all the bachelors like married men.
mrs. allonby
I certainly never know one from the other.
lady stutfield
Oh, I think one can always know at once whether a man has home claims upon his life or not. I have noticed a very, very sad expression in the eyes of so many married men.
mrs. allonby
Ah, all that I have noticed is that they are horribly tedious when they are good husbands, and abominably conceited when they are not.
lady hunstanton
Well, I suppose the type of husband has completely changed since my young days, but I’m bound to state that poor dear Hunstanton was the most delightful of creatures, and as good as gold.
mrs. allonby
Ah, my husband is a sort of promissory note; I am tired of meeting him.
·47· lady caroline
But you renew him from time to time, don’t you?
mrs. allonby
Oh no, Lady Caroline. I have only had one husband as yet. I suppose you look upon me as quite an amateur.
lady caroline
With your views on life I wonder you married at all.
mrs. allonby
So do I.
lady hunstanton
My dear child, I believe you are really very happy in your married life, but that you like to hide your happiness from others.
mrs. allonby
I assure you I was horribly deceived in Ernest.
lady hunstanton
Oh, I hope not, dear. I knew his mother quite well. She was a Stratton, Caroline, one of Lord Crowland’s daughters.
·48· lady caroline
Victoria Stratton? I remember her perfectly. A silly fair-haired woman with no chin.
mrs. allonby
Ah, Ernest has a chin. He has a very strong chin, a square chin. Ernest’s chin is far too square.
lady stutfield
But do you really think a man’s chin can be too square? I think a man should look very, very strong, and that his chin should be quite, quite square.
mrs. allonby
Then you should certainly know Ernest, Lady Stutfield. It is only fair to tell you beforehand he has got no conversation at all.
lady stutfield
I adore silent men.
mrs. allonby
Oh, Ernest isn’t silent. He talks the whole
