I think it is much safer to do so, Lady Stutfield. Until, of course, people are found out to be good. But that requires a great deal of investigation, now-a-days.
lady stutfield
But there is so much unkind scandal in modern life.
lady caroline
Lord Illingworth remarked to me last night at dinner that the basis of every scandal is an absolutely immoral certainty.
kelvil
Lord Illingworth is, of course, a very brilliant man, but he seems to me to be lacking in that fine faith in the nobility and purity of life which is so important in this century.
lady stutfield
Yes, quite, quite important, is it not?
kelvil
He gives me the impression of a man who does ·24· not appreciate the beauty of our English home-life. I would say that he was tainted with foreign ideas on the subject.
lady stutfield
There is nothing, nothing like the beauty of home-life, is there?
kelvil
It is the mainstay of our moral system in England, Lady Stutfield. Without it we would become like our neighbours.
lady stutfield
That would be so, so sad, would it not?
kelvil
I am afraid, too, that Lord Illingworth regards woman simply as a toy. Now, I have never regarded woman as a toy. Woman is the intellectual helpmeet of man in public as in private life. Without her we should forget the true ideals. [Sits down beside Lady Stutfield.]
lady stutfield
I am so very, very glad to hear you say that.
lady caroline
You a married man, Mr. Kettle?
·25· sir john
Kelvil, dear, Kelvil.
kelvil
I am married, Lady Caroline.
lady caroline
Family?
kelvil
Yes.
lady caroline
How many?
kelvil
Eight.
[Lady Stutfield turns her attention to Lord Alfred.]
lady caroline
Mrs. Kettle and the children are, I suppose, at the seaside? [Sir John shrugs his shoulders.]
kelvil
My wife is at the seaside with the children, Lady Caroline.
lady caroline
You will join them later on, no doubt?
·26· kelvil
If my public engagements permit me.
lady caroline
Your public life must be a great source of gratification to Mrs. Kettle.
sir john
Kelvil, my love, Kelvil.
lady stutfield
[To Lord Alfred.] How very, very charming those gold-tipped cigarettes of yours are, Lord Alfred.
lord alfred
They are awfully expensive. I can only afford them when I’m in debt.
lady stutfield
It must be terribly, terribly distressing to be in debt.
lord alfred
One must have some occupation now-a-days. If I hadn’t my debts I shouldn’t have anything to think about. All the chaps I know are in debt.
lady stutfield
But don’t the people to whom you owe the ·27· money give you a great, great deal of annoyance?
[Enter Footman.]
lord alfred
Oh no, they write; I don’t.
lady stutfield
How very, very strange.
lady hunstanton
Ah, here is a letter, Caroline, from dear Mrs. Arbuthnot. She won’t dine. I am so sorry. But she will come in the evening. I am very pleased indeed. She is one of the sweetest of women. Writes a beautiful hand, too, so large, so firm. [Hands letter to Lady Caroline.]
lady caroline
[Looking at it.] A little lacking in femininity, Jane. Femininity is the quality I admire most in women.
lady hunstanton
[Taking back letter and leaving it on table.] Oh! she is very feminine, Caroline, and so good too. You should hear what the Archdeacon says of her. He regards her as his right hand in the parish. [Footman speaks to her.] In the Yellow Drawing-room. Shall we all go in? Lady Stutfield, shall we go in to tea?
·28· lady stutfield
With pleasure, Lady Hunstanton. [They rise and proceed to go off. Sir John offers to carry Lady Stutfield’s cloak.]
lady caroline
John! If you would allow your nephew to look after Lady Stutfield’s cloak, you might help me with my workbasket.
[Enter Lord Illingworth and Mrs. Allonby.]
sir john
Certainly, my love. [Exeunt.]
mrs. allonby
Curious thing, plain women are always jealous of their husbands, beautiful women never are!
lord illingworth
Beautiful women never have time. They are always so occupied in being jealous of other people’s husbands.
mrs. allonby
