know that he ·66· cares much for the subjects in which you are so interested, dear Mrs. Arbuthnot. Do you think, Caroline, that Lord Illingworth is interested in the Housing of the Poor?
lady caroline
I should fancy not at all, Jane.
lady hunstanton
We all have our different tastes, have we not? But Lord Illingworth has a very high position, and there is nothing he couldn’t get if he chose to ask for it. Of course, he is comparatively a young man still, and he has only come to his title within—how long exactly is it, Caroline, since Lord Illingworth succeeded?
lady caroline
About four years, I think, Jane. I know it was the same year in which my brother had his last exposure in the evening newspapers.
lady hunstanton
Ah, I remember. That would be about four years ago. Of course, there were a great many people between the present Lord Illingworth and the title, Mrs. Arbuthnot. There was—who was there, Caroline?
lady caroline
There was poor Margaret’s baby. You remember ·67· how anxious she was to have a boy, and it was a boy, but it died, and her husband died shortly afterwards, and she married almost immediately one of Lord Ascot’s sons, who, I am told, beats her.
lady hunstanton
Ah, that is in the family, dear, that is in the family. And there was also, I remember, a clergyman who wanted to be a lunatic, or a lunatic who wanted to be a clergyman, I forget which, but I know the Court of Chancery investigated the matter, and decided that he was quite sane. And I saw him afterwards at poor Lord Plumstead’s with straws in his hair, or something very odd about him. I can’t recall what. I often regret, Lady Caroline, that dear Lady Cecilia never lived to see her son get the title.
mrs. arbuthnot
Lady Cecilia?
lady hunstanton
Lord Illingworth’s mother, dear Mrs. Arbuthnot, was one of the Duchess of Jerningham’s pretty daughters, and she married Sir Thomas Harford, who wasn’t considered a very good match for her at the time, though he was said to be the handsomest man in London. I knew them all quite intimately, and both the sons, Arthur and George.
·68· mrs. arbuthnot
It was the eldest son who succeeded, of course, Lady Hunstanton?
lady hunstanton
No, dear, he was killed in the hunting field. Or was it fishing, Caroline? I forget. But George came in for everything. I always tell him that no younger son has ever had such good luck as he has had.
mrs. arbuthnot
Lady Hunstanton, I want to speak to Gerald at once. Might I see him? Can he be sent for?
lady hunstanton
Certainly, dear. I will send one of the servants into the dining-room to fetch him. I don’t know what keeps the gentlemen so long. [Rings bell.] When I knew Lord Illingworth first as plain George Harford, he was simply a very brilliant young man about town, with not a penny of money except what poor dear Lady Cecilia gave him. She was quite devoted to him. Chiefly, I fancy, because he was on bad terms with his father. Oh, here is the dear Archdeacon. [To Servant.] It doesn’t matter.
[Enter Sir John and Doctor Daubeny. Sir John goes over to Lady Stutfield, Doctor Daubeny to Lady Hunstanton.]
·69· the archdeacon
Lord Illingworth has been most entertaining. I have never enjoyed myself more. [Sees Mrs. Arbuthnot.] Ah, Mrs. Arbuthnot.
lady hunstanton
[To Doctor Daubeny.] You see I have got Mrs. Arbuthnot to come to me at last.
the archdeacon
That is a great honour, Lady Hunstanton. Mrs. Daubeny will be quite jealous of you.
lady hunstanton
Ah, I am so sorry Mrs. Daubeny could not come with you to-night. Headache as usual, I suppose.
the archdeacon
Yes, Lady Hunstanton; a perfect martyr. But she is happiest alone. She is happiest alone.
lady caroline
[To her husband.] John! [Sir John goes over to his wife. Doctor Daubeny talks to Lady Hunstanton and Mrs. Arbuthnot.]
[Mrs. Arbuthnot watches Lord Illingworth the whole time. He has passed across the room without noticing her, and approaches Mrs. Allonby, who with Lady Stutfield is standing by the door looking on to the terrace.]
·70· lord illingworth
How is the most charming woman in the world?
mrs. allonby
[Taking Lady Stutfield by the hand.] We are both quite well, thank you, Lord Illingworth. But what a short time you have been in the dining-room! It seems as if we had only just left.
lord illingworth
I was bored to death. Never opened my lips the whole time. Absolutely longing to come in to you.
mrs. allonby
You should have. The American girl has been giving us a lecture.
lord illingworth
Really? All Americans lecture, I believe. I suppose it is something in their climate. What did she lecture about?
mrs. allonby
Oh, Puritanism, of course.
lord illingworth
I am going to convert her, am I not? How long do you give me?
·71· mrs. allonby
A week.
lord illingworth
A week is more than enough.
[Enter Gerald and Lord Alfred.]
gerald
[Going to Mrs. Arbuthnot.] Dear mother!
mrs. arbuthnot
Gerald, I don’t feel at all well. See me home, Gerald. I shouldn’t have come.
gerald
I am so sorry, mother. Certainly. But you must know Lord Illingworth first. [Goes across room.]
mrs. arbuthnot
Not to-night, Gerald.
