Geek in China. Matthew B. Christensen

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Oriental Pearl Radio and TV Tower by the side of the Huangpu River in Pudong, opposite the Bund, is another distinctive landmark.

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      Three mega skyscrapers in the Pudong district of Shanghai: The Shanghai World Financial Center, Jinmao Tower and Shanghai Tower.

      THE CHINESE LANGUAGE

      To an outsider, the written Chinese language may seem like indecipherable chicken scratchings, but a language that has been in continuous use for thousands of years certainly makes sense to 1.3 billion Chinese. It is true that Chinese is vastly different from Western languages and it does take rigorous study to master. But it is a fascinating language to learn, spoken by more people than any other language.

      THE WORLD’S FIRST WRITING

      China has the world’s oldest writing system still in use. There are older systems, such as Egyptian hieroglyphics and the Sumerian Cuneiform script, but they fell out of use long ago. The Chinese writing system that we can trace back to 1200 BCE is still recognizable to those who know Chinese. Although the system has evolved over time, it is still based on Chinese characters.

      The earliest Chinese characters were written on the shoulder bones of oxen and on turtle shells. These early characters were used in divination ceremonies to predict the future. They are commonly referred to as ‘oracle bones’. The vast majority of these bones date to the Shang Dynasty (1650–1045 BCE). Most of the characters are pictographs, stylized pictures of an object such as a tiger, a table, an eye or a horse.

      By the Zhou Dynasty (1045–256 BCE), Chinese characters were being cast onto bronze vessels. The earliest Chinese books consisted of bamboo slats with a row of Chinese characters written on them vertically. These slats were then lashed together to form a book. Later, Chinese was written on silk scrolls, then finally on paper.

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      Oracle bone writing or jiaguwen. This is the earliest form of writing in China dating to as early as 1045 BCE. These characters were carved on the shoulder bones of oxen and on turtle shells.

      CLASSICAL CHINESE

      Early in Chinese history, the language already consisted of various spoken dialects. When the writing system was developed, a standard written form was promoted from as early as the Qin Dynasty (221–206 BCE) in an attempt to unite the various kingdoms of the time. This writing system evolved into a written form called ‘literary’ or ‘classical’ Chinese. It was based on a spoken dialect but was not associated with any particular one. Over time, the written language and spoken varieties of Chinese grew apart until the situation was similar to the use of Latin in ancient Europe, where Latin was used for written documents but people continued to speak different languages. Classical Chinese was the written standard that all educated people used for written communication and literature of all kinds, but which no one spoke. This classical language was commonly used until the early part of the 20th century.

      This literary language became canonized with the introduction of the Confucian Classics. These writings consisted of works that were associated with a classical education. Originally, they consisted of five books that were promoted by scholars as the most important works of literature with the power to improve the common man. We don’t know the authors of these books, but they were studied religiously by the scholar-élite ruling class in China.

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      Chinese calligraphy scrolls displayed in the National Palace Museum, Taipei, Taiwan.

      The Book of Songs A collection of 305 songs or poems from the 10th to 7th centuries BCE, allegedly compiled by Confucius.

      The Book of History A record of events in ancient China, some as early as the 11th century BCE.

      The Book of Rites Written in the Han Dynasty, it describes the social customs, administration and ceremonial rites of the Zhou Dynasty (1045–256 BCE).

      The Book of Changes A divination manual that dates back as far as 1000 BCE.

      Spring and Autumn Annals A history of the State of Lu (722–481 BCE), the kingdom Confucius came from.

      During the Han Dynasty (206 BCE–220 CE), four additional books were added to the canon. These were works compiled by disciples of Confucius. Further expounding on Confucian doctrine and ideals, the books were all written before 206 BCE.

      The Great Learning Originally a chapter in the Book of Rites, said to be written by Confucius, it also contains commentary by one of Confucius’s disciples.

      Doctrine of the Mean Another chapter from the Book of Rites, attributed to Confucius’s grandson, it describes how to attain perfect unity in society.

      Analects of Confucius A compilation of sayings by Confucius and his disciples, the Analects is heavily influenced by the philosophy and moral values of China.

      Mencius A collection of conversations that Mencius, a disciple of Confucius’s grandson, had with kings of the time.

      These important books became known as the Five Classics and the Four Books. They formed the cornerstone of the Chinese education system beginning shortly after the Han Dynasty up to the beginning of the 20th century. What this means is that anyone who was educated in China was well versed in these classics. The classics also became the curriculum of the Civil Service Examination System, which began in a limited way during the Han Dynasty up until the end of the imperial dynastic period. A system of exams based on knowledge of these classics was instituted to select those who would serve as administrative officials. The better one performed in the exams, the higher and more important the administrative assignment one received.

      CRAP EGGS WITH BAMBOO FLAVOR A TASTE OF CHINGLISH

      With increasing globalization, the Chinese are making enormous efforts to appear international and sophisticated by translating street signs, menus and other signages into English. They also want to help English-speaking visitors to China. A hotel that has English signage will appeal more to foreigners but also to well-heeled Chinese. The demand, unfortunately, has far outpaced those qualified to do these translations, often leading to hilarious results. I was recently staying at a Chinese hotel that caters to Chinese business people and Chinese tour groups. At the typical breakfast buffet, often provided to attract customers, was a small placard next to each menu item in both Chinese and English. I came across this one:

      PAN TRY BREAKFAST BOWEL

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      This did not sound too appetizing knowing how much the Chinese love to eat entrails. But after lifting the lid on the dish, I discovered it was sausage. The literal translation of the Chinese would be something like ‘Fragrant-fry-breakfast-intestine’. A more appropriate translation would simply be ‘Pan-fried breakfast sausage’.

      Sometimes a single misplaced letter can make all the difference. Crap eggs are actually crab eggs or roe.

      Here are a few others:

      CAREFUL

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