personality traits in more than 500 older adults without dementia and followed them on average for six years. High emotional stability in combination with high extraversion was the personality-trait pattern associated with the lowest risk of dementia as well as other mental disorders, such as major depression, substance abuse, and phobia. In socially isolated people, high emotional stability alone appeared to decrease the risk for cognitive decline.
Having high ratings on the conscientiousness scale predicts several significant life outcomes. A National Institute on Aging study published in the Journal of Economic Psychology showed that a person’s degree of conscientiousness has a major influence on career success. Other investigations indicate that higher degrees of conscientiousness are associated with higher income levels, regardless of an individual’s type of work. That trait also predicts the duration and happiness of a person’s marriage. And because conscientious people are more fastidious about their health care, they not only live longer; they also are less likely to suffer a stroke, develop high blood pressure, or get Alzheimer’s disease. Those better outcomes could in part reflect a conscientious person’s tendency to not smoke, avoid drinking alcohol in excess, and follow up on medical advice.
Personality Traits of Stand-Up Comedians
Stand-up comedians are very creative individuals who write and perform their material and either enjoy or suffer from immediate audience feedback. In contrast to actors, stand-ups tend to score high on disagreeableness, which may account for the disparaging humor of many. Although they don’t appear to be any more neurotic than people in the general population, they tend to be more introverted.
Many explanations contribute to these varied outcomes of an individual’s personality style. Neurotic people don’t handle stress well, and chronic stress can lead to depression, age-related physical illnesses, accidents, and other outcomes that make for a briefer life-span. They also don’t take care of their health as well as more emotionally stable individuals. By contrast, a friendly extrovert enjoys the support of a social network that can lend a hand when that person becomes ill or stressed out.
The bottom line is that we are no longer prisoners of our old personality traits. If we make the decision to free ourselves from those traits that hold us back, we can begin to achieve the life we want.
When Is the Best Time to Change?
The simple, concise answer to this question is right now. Because most people find comfort in their routines, even when those routines disrupt their lives and hold them back from their goals, it can be difficult to initiate change. Getting started is often the most challenging step.
Keep in mind that just trying to change your personality can take forever, but committing to change and making it happen is within your reach—and it can happen in only 30 days. By picking up this book, you have already taken your first step. Whether you opt to work with a therapist, employ self-help strategies, or both, the following chapters will provide you with a road map for becoming a better you.
When people are ready to, they change. They never do it before then.
—Andy Warhol
AT SOME POINT IN life, almost everyone has something about themselves they would like to change, whether it’s improving their relationships, advancing their career, losing weight, or just becoming more relaxed and mindful. Some fortunate individuals are able to easily define a goal, get started, and achieve the change they desire. However, most people have a hard enough time figuring out what needs to change, let alone knowing how to get there. That is why it’s important to learn strategies that can help you move smoothly through the process.
As a psychiatrist, I have helped many patients change their personalities through psychotherapy, and I know that the patient’s motivation is a critical component for success. But even the most motivated patients may still need to overcome certain obstacles before they can truly alter their lives for the better.
During the past several decades, an emerging science of behavior change has systematically helped many people reach their goals. These methods challenge one’s previously failed change strategies and help remove the roadblocks that interfere with personal growth and achieving specific goals.
What Is CPAS?
How many times have you told yourself that you were going to drop those extra pounds? Or start being more patient with your teenagers? Perhaps you’ve been meaning to try meditation or join a gym, but you just haven’t got around to it. It’s easy to find reasons and excuses not to change, and unfortunately some people never become motivated to move beyond that point.
For those of us who are motivated, however, there is a critical moment when we shift from wishing we could change to actually doing something about it. That tipping point can be different for everyone, but once we reach it, the road to change becomes a true possibility.
Diane, a 28-year-old waitress, always had a bad temper. Growing up, her explosive outbursts got her into trouble at home and in school, but she felt justified in her anger because everybody else was usually wrong. Her parents couldn’t change her, and in the past few years, she had alienated her now ex-husband and lost two jobs due to workplace altercations. When she finally got hired at another restaurant, she swore things would be different. But on the second day, she pissed off a regular customer who vowed never to return.
Diane got fired from the new job, and she could no longer deny that she wasn’t at fault. She realized, deep down, that she had to make a change, but she had no idea how to go about it.
Behavioral psychologists have developed various theories in attempting to explain behavior change. For example, the Fogg Behavior Model posits that behavior change involves ability, motivation, and triggers. The Health Belief Model suggests that beliefs about threats to well-being and effectiveness, as well as outcomes of specific actions, will determine behaviors. The Theory of Planned Behavior proposes that an individual’s behavior is proportional to the amount of control that they have over their own actions and the strength of their intentions. The Transtheoretical Model describes five stages a person must proceed through in order to achieve change.
These various models and theories are helpful in providing the framework for understanding the change process. To make them more practical, however, I have adapted these theories to create a more user-friendly approach for each individual to determine their readiness for change, formulate a plan, and achieve their goals.
This approach, which I call the CPAS Method for Change, stands for considering, planning, acting, and sustaining new traits and habits—the sequence of phases that lead to meaningful personality change. It’s easy for me to remember because it reminds me of my accountants who I meet with every April. With the right motivation, most people are able to move sequentially through these CPAS phases and achieve their objectives either on their own, with the help of a psychotherapist, or a combination of the two. This approach is effective for a variety of goals, including losing weight, improving relationships, or becoming more assertive.
My longtime friend Jackson had gradually put on pounds during his 30s and 40s and hadn’t done any regular exercise since college. I was concerned because now that he was in his 50s, those extra pounds around the middle
