coronary disease, and other age-related illnesses. When I occasionally mentioned these issues, he would laugh it off or joke that he needed his belly to play Santa Claus for the kids. My invitations to go on a hike or meet at the gym fell on deaf ears. I considered gifting Jackson a couple of free sessions with my trainer, but I was concerned he might feel pressured, which could further discourage him from changing his behavior.
I knew that behind all the jokes, at an intellectual level, Jackson acknowledged the health benefits of exercise, but he wasn’t motivated enough to begin considering a real change in his behavior. Ten months later Jackson suffered a mild heart attack. It scared him, and he was finally motivated enough to make a change and get in shape. This change benefitted his overall future health, because adopting one healthy habit often leads to others.
Once you are ready to commit to your CPAS Method for Change, you will already be in your planning phase and ready to choose whether you wish to work with a psychotherapist, self-help techniques, or both.
CPAS—the Four Phases of Change
Whether you wish to change a specific behavior or alter an aspect of your personality, the same four phases apply, and they progress in the following order:
1 1. Considering. Your barriers and excuses for continuing an unwanted behavior or personality trait are no longer working. You are thinking about making a change, but you may still be ambivalent and not convinced that change is possible.
2 2. Planning. You have identified what you wish to change about yourself and you are highly motivated. You can now decide whether to move forward on your own, with the help of a therapist, or a combination of the two.
3 3. Acting. You have established your plan for change and are ready to act on it. You begin the process of adopting new behaviors and ways of thinking and giving up your old ways. Once people begin taking action, change can happen swiftly—in as little as 30 days.
4 4. Sustaining. Now that you have achieved the change you hoped for, you will learn strategies to sustain the new version of you over time.
Considering
Someone in the considering phase is not quite ready to change or adopt new behaviors, but they are inching toward a state of readiness. At the beginning of this phase, people typically make excuses for keeping their lives at the status quo: “I don’t really need that many friends; I’m fine on my own” or “I know I’m constantly late for things, but my dad was like that too.” When more closely examined, such excuses are merely a way of skirting the emotional work necessary to make a personality change.
At the beginning of the considering phase, many people already recognize that their behavior is a problem, but they don’t think it’s possible for them to change. When they envision altering their behaviors, it all seems too complicated or daunting. They aren’t yet motivated enough to go for it; however, maintaining the status quo is no longer working in their lives.
When my neighbor Shirley was still in graduate school, she went to a therapist for her anxiety issues. However, the therapist kept delving into Shirley’s early childhood, which made her feel even more anxious, so she gave up and assumed that no form of psychotherapy would ever help her.
Often someone’s previous failed attempts at change can reinforce this kind of thinking. Shirley’s first try at therapy failed, so she allowed that to become a barrier against any change at all. Individuals in the considering phase often create imagined barriers that serve as excuses to remain stuck in old, unproductive patterns.
Transitioning through this stage involves identifying strong motivators as well as pinpointing and overcoming one’s barriers. Some people stay in the considering phase for long periods, remaining ambivalent about whether the effort is worth it to them, and they are not yet motivated enough to try.
It wasn’t until recently that Shirley’s escalating anxiety symptoms began affecting her health—her asthma was worsening and she was developing irritable bowel syndrome. Her declining health supplied the motivation she needed to make a change. She found a behavioral psychologist who did not delve into her childhood but instead focused on the here and now. This time therapy made Shirley feel better instead of worse, and she was able to discover the root of her anxiety and overcome it.
Connecting with other people who have made successful changes in their lives can also be very motivating. Many studies have shown that when we spend time with people who engage in healthy behaviors, we are more likely to engage in those behaviors ourselves. If your goal is to become more agreeable, hanging out with other agreeable people will no doubt help you achieve that goal.
Once my friend Jackson accepted that he needed to change his eating habits and start exercising, he entered the considering phase of change—not quite ready to meet me at the gym, but beginning to formulate a plan to move forward. I advise patients in this phase to begin thinking about small but achievable goals for themselves and to work on understanding the feelings behind their barriers to change.
Planning
People in the planning phase have overcome their ambivalence; they know what they want to achieve and are sufficiently motivated. Many in this phase begin experimenting with various strategies, embracing some and discarding others.
To ensure progress through the planning phase, it’s important to establish a concrete blueprint for change. Brainstorming with a therapist, friend, or family member can be helpful when deciding which strategies to try. Just the process of writing down several possible approaches can accelerate one’s progression.
Jackson’s busy work schedule made it impossible for him to get to the gym during the week, so he compiled a list of ways to squeeze in some cardiovascular conditioning every day at work. He started by taking the stairs instead of the elevator to his office on the eighth floor. Of course, he wasn’t in good enough shape to climb all eight flights right away, so he began by climbing one flight up each day for the first week, two flights the next week, and so forth.
Ambivalence may still occur during the planning phase. Reviewing your reasons and motivators for change may assist you in getting to the bottom of your ambivalence and overcoming it. Understanding any lingering feelings that are causing resistance to change can help make your plans more concrete so you can move forward.
Changing Your Personality Alters Your Brain
When we alter our personality, we also change our brain. For each phase of change, different brain regions become engaged and work together to solidify our new behaviors and traits. When practicing a new behavior, the prefrontal cortex (the thinking brain) sends signals to the midbrain, which then releases the “feel good” chemical messenger dopamine as a reward for the new, better behavior or personality trait. Another region, the striatum, coordinates these signals, and if the new trait doesn’t pan out, dopamine declines, the behavior is less rewarding, and we are less likely to adopt it. However, if the new behavior or trait is effective in bringing about the desired result, then the brain’s sensorimotor cortex and infralimbic cortex work together to strengthen the neural connections and help transform the new actions into habits so we can sustain them for the long haul.
Taking Action
After someone has defined the new behavior they desire and planned how they will achieve it, they enter the acting phase of change. Hopefully, they have prepared
