said You have had a very tough time recently.
And I said Yes my Dad died.
She said Yes I know.
I said Its not my Dad lying to me.
She smiled and her shoulders dropped down but she stopped smiling when I said Its my Dads Ghost.
She said Philip when boys your age have to deal with something as terrible and difficult as what you have had to deal with it is possible for them to get slightly confused about some things.
I said He comes to me sometimes and he speaks to me but he is not there all the time. He flickers on and off like a bad light bulb.
She sighed and crinkled her nose again and made her eyes thin and she said Philip you have an exceptional imagination and that is a good thing to have it really is. But you must be able to separate the things that are real from the things that are not real.
I said Mrs Fell do you believe in ghosts?
Her nose flinched a bit like the question was a ball thrown in her face and she said No I dont.
I said Neither did I until I saw my Dads Ghost.
She said Philip.
I said Im not making it up.
She said I know youre not Philip. Its just after terrible things happen it is sometimes hard to know what is real and what is not.
I said He told me that Mum was in trouble and I had to steal the mini bus.
She wrote something down on paper and she looked at me for another Long Time and picked up the little gold cross inbetween her thumb and finger and moved it along the necklace. Then she said And when you got back was your Mum in trouble?
I said No.
She said So there you go.
I said He was lying.
She said Philip you have to try to ignore these things because they are part of your imagination.
I said I cant help it.
She said Theres no such word as cant Philip. You have to help it.
I said I have no choice.
She said You always have a choice. Life is full of choices Philip thats all there is. You can ignore anything you choose to ignore and eventually it will go away.
I said What about the soldiers?
She said What soldiers?
I said In the First World War. The ones whose fathers lied.
She said That is different.
I said Why?
She said That is History Philip not Imagination. In fact its a poem so its both.
I said So when I am old and dead and Im in History will I be right?
She said Philip you miss your Dad very much. Do you want to talk a bit about that?
I said No.
She said Do you want to talk about your Dad? About what he was like?
I said He did funny voices.
Her eyebrows went together like thin caterpillars that wanted to kiss but couldnt and she said Funny voices?
I said Yes. When he bought me a new fish hed do me the voice how the fish speaks like he always gave the Guppies posh voices and the Mollies sounded like this
And I did her the voice of the Mollies and she nearly laughed.
And I told her But his ghost isnt funny hes just sad and angry.
I didnt want to tell her about the Dead Fathers Club or the Terrors. She didnt believe in ghosts so she wasnt going to believe in the Dead Fathers Club or the Terrors. And I wasnt going to tell her about what Dads Ghost said about Uncle Alan because I didnt know if he had lied about that as well and if he hadnt lied she might tell Mum and make Uncle Alan more dangerous.
Mrs Fell said Does your Mum know all this?
I said No.
Mrs Fell said What do you think she would think?
think
think
I said That Im stupid.
Mrs Fell said So why did you tell me?
I looked at her arm. It had freckles on it and soft little hairs and I wanted to touch her skin but I didnt.
I said I dont know.
Mrs Fell said You said your Dads Ghost was angry. What do you think he was angry about?
I thought this was a weird question because Mrs Fell didnt believe in my Dads Ghost so why did she care about what he was angry about but I didnt tell her the truth I just said I dont know.
Then Mrs Fell asked another weird question which was When did you last see your fathers ghost?
And I said I havent seen him since Hadrians Wall.
She smiled like I had given her the Right Answer.
Angelfish
All fish are the same and no fish are better than other fish really but if there is a best fish it is the Angelfish. The Angelfish I have is six inches big and it has blue and yellow stripes on its body which is round and flat. The proper name for the Angelfish is in my book on tropical fish and it is Holocanthus ciliaris which is Latin like the Romans spoke but the name I call her is Gertie which is short for GERTRUDE which is a funny name.
Angelfish are hard fish to have because they are fussy and have to have water between 80 and 82 degrees FAHRENHEIT for them to stay alive or they melt or freeze. I only have one Angelfish which is bad because Angelfish are better in twos because they have a mate and stay with them for life.
The Angelfish I have is from the
AMAZON RIVER BASIN
in South America which has very warm water like in my tank.
Angelfish come from a family called Chaetodontidae. I dont think fish know they have such long names.
The best thing about Angelfish is that even when they are big they can disappear because they are so flat that when they face you you cant see them even though they are right in front of you.
The Men Who Smashed the Pub
The noise came into my dream.
In my dream I was playing Football on a hill and I was playing against the whole Football team and I was really good like when I was in Primary School
