to his word the big rig traveled at a slow but steady speed throughout the day. It was a comfortable journey with opportunity for conversation interspersed with long stretches of silence. Maggie enjoyed taking in the changing views of the countryside and towns they passed. It ended with Bob finally pulling over for the night.
“Same sleeping arrangements as last night,” he said as he climbed into the sleeping compartment; however this time, without saying anything Maggie climbed in with him. It was the first time ever that Maggie had been a volunteer to the act and she particularly noted the absence of any horrible smells and gone was the compelling need to wash and scrub herself clean. More than that came a significant realization, Maggie could not understand why she hadn't seen it before this. She had always felt intimidated and overpowered by the predators that had inflicted such unspeakable horrors on her. Now, suddenly she understood that men could be the victims of their own desires. They did not necessarily have the power over her but her over them. Still she felt confused by the revelation. Maggie’s life had conditioned her to expect the worst and afterwards it seemed that Bob’s attitude toward her changed, “just like the others” she thought with disappointment.
The following morning as the big rig neared its final stop Bob informed Maggie he would have to drop her somewhere in the outer suburbs explaining he was not allowed to carry unauthorized passengers in the truck. He pulled the big rig to the side of the road, parallel to a railway station where Maggie could catch a passenger train into the city. He handed her a sum of money saying he hoped it all worked out well for her. Maggie understood what the money was for, she knew what her mother did and she felt angry. Bob had seemed so nice, caring and friendly but now she knew for sure that he was just like the others, but at least this time there was something in it for her. In her anger she decided that this time she would strike back. ”By the way Bob,” she said, “I’m only fifteen, how old are you?” Maggie watched and enjoyed the look of horror on Bob’s face; she was at last learning to retaliate.
Climbing out of the truck she walked to the train station without turning to watch as the big rig pulled away and continued its journey.
Chapter 11
- She observed Peter’s eyes settling on her a number of times causing her to shudder knowingly, she had seen that look before. -
Maggie had been frustrated by the unfamiliarity of the ticketing system and the strange surroundings. With some kind help from a stranger she managed to book a seat on the next train leaving for the city. The hour she waited gave her the necessary time to compose herself and gather her thoughts together. She took the opportunity to regain her resolve knowing she must focus on building a new life and putting the old behind her, including the episode with Bob. The fact that she had liked him; he made her feel comfortable and at ease, made it all the more disappointing.
The train journey to the city proved uneventful; however Maggie thoroughly enjoyed the view, captivated by studying the change from rural to metropolitan. The swaying rhythm produced by the constant motion had lulled her into an almost sleep state. All too soon, the train pulled into the central city station on schedule and towards the latter part of the day. Duffel bag in hand, Maggie wandered aimlessly whilst surveying her surrounds. She was surprised at how small the central city area was compared with her home town. Nevertheless, there was the usual hustle and bustle of traffic and its accompanying sounds together with the chaos of motion. People leaving work and heading home.
She decided to find a place to eat and take the time to contemplate where she would sleep for the coming night and formulate her next strategy. She was sure she couldn’t go to any of the shelters as questions would arise that were too difficult to answer. She simply couldn't risk making any mistakes now. She had come this far and was determined to make things work. She could not take the chance of being caught and sent back home where she would have to live with the fear and self-loathing once again. Faced with that degradation she believed she would lose all resolve to break away a second time.
Wandering aimlessly she eventually stumbled across a cafe with a few grubby seats out front. The food was unappetizing and looked re-heated from the day before. Nevertheless, she purchased take away and found a strategic spot where she could sit and eat her hamburger and fries without being disturbed by the other customers. She tried thinking but nothing rational would come to her. She just could not decide on what to do. Even though she had spent a few nights sleeping rough before hitching up with Bob she hadn't felt this alone before. Now she felt desperate with the enormity of her situation. Briefly, she even considered returning home to accept what life sent her way.
By the time she finished eating, her positive outlook returned and even though she had not yet come up with any plan she set out walking the nearly deserted streets. Although, emptying of business people and workers, she knew it wouldn't be long before the gloomy atmosphere would pass and be replaced by the night crowd. Those people coming into the city to enjoy a movie or perhaps friends gathering at a pub for a drink or maybe enjoying an evening of entertainment at the theatre. She wondered if life would ever be that ordinary for her. Was it really only a few days ago when she had fleetingly felt normal while celebrating her fifteenth birthday?
Amidst all these conflicting emotions, Maggie heard the resonance of lively music playing in the near distance. She followed the sounds until she came across a large assembly of people, singing and dancing in the street and seemingly having fun. A crowd was gathering around them and Maggie was soon drawn in. She stood watching for a while and gradually became comfortable enough to join in with clapping to the rhythm and humming to the words. One of the young men from the group walked over to her introducing himself as Murray and asked her name. Giving just her first name while raising her voice above the music she enquired, "Are you part of this group and what do you do?"
“We’re part of a group who live together in a commune of peace and harmony. We come into town several times a month to encourage others to join us and experience the love and joy that is available to all mankind.” Sensing an opportunity, Murray took Maggie by the hand escorting her to a quieter side of the street. There they could hear each other talk without having to compete with the loud music. Continuing he said “You look so lost and all alone, do you have somewhere to go, a place to sleep?”
Maggie immediately realized that this may just be the answer to her current predicament. The streets were a hard place to live, she’d already experienced those few days in a derelict building with little food and no comfort to speak of. She had been lucky so far, could it last this time? Maybe she wasn't street smart enough to continue until she found a job that would enable her to rent a decent room somewhere. Surviving would be very difficult with little money and no job and no idea as to how she was to go about getting either. Keeping up the lies would be yet another challenge.
“No, I've nowhere to go.” she replied seizing the opportunity and hastily asked, “Can I join you?”
This was to be the beginnings of a journey that would last for several years. Maggie would learn more in the area of failed promises and human shame to add to her already dismal record. Determined to get tougher and smarter with the intention that little, if anything would ever get to her again. She would become her own person with her own rules. Maggie at fifteen years of age was already paving a path that would lead to her eventual destruction.
The singing and dancing continued on and as time grew late the crowds dispersed and the group packed up and headed to a brightly lit car park where they boarded an old run-down bus.
Once on board they headed out of the city into suburbia and beyond the metropolitan area. Maggie had a window seat and could see the landscape changing to open fields and bush with little established housing. "The commune must be some way out in an isolated location" she thought to herself.
The joviality and good humor of the group continued until the bus approached a vast property stuck in the middle
