Why Don’t People Plan, and What Can You Do about That?
No two families or people are exactly alike. Their reasons for neglecting to carry out basic estate planning are never alike either, as they can be logistical, emotional, or a combination of both. However, there are some reasons that North American families and individuals give more often than others when asked about their reluctance to plan. Generally speaking, people are aware that they need to do “something” to deal with end of life and incapacity. Messages about the importance of planning are everywhere. The problem is not lack of awareness; the problem is taking action.
In this chapter, you will read about some of the reasons commonly voiced for failing to plan for the future. Some of these may sound familiar to you through your conversations with your own family members. You may even have used one or two of them yourself. If you have heard them from family members in your efforts to motivate them to get on with their planning, reading this chapter may give you more insight into their thoughts, fears, and feelings. You will find out what you are up against when you begin to plan your family meeting.
This chapter may also give you some ideas about how to counter these reasons if your parents or other relatives use them as an excuse not to plan. If some of the reasons are new to you and you have not heard them mentioned by your family members, you might find it useful to think about whether one (or more) of them is actually the true, underlying reason for their resistance to planning. If a real impediment exists, it must be dealt with so that an estate plan may be put together. However, unless the impediment is identified and revealed to you, it will never be removed.
1. Not Knowing Where to Start
There is no shortage of information available about wills, powers of attorney, and health-care directives and almost every related legal topic. In any given week, you could see a magazine article about retirement planning, a television program about seniors’ issues, a news story about an estate gone terribly wrong, and dozens of blogs on the Internet telling you which documents you should have. Everyone has advice for you. In fact, there is so much information available that there might actually be too much for some people. It can be tough to sort out what information is reliable and what applies to you in your situation.
Public information is often doled out in snippets such as a 500-word magazine article or a four-minute television interview. Although these brief segments are very valuable in raising awareness of a topic, they are not intended to be thorough investigations of complicated legal issues. They are only overviews. Because the possible family scenarios vary so widely and legal advice changes based on the facts, it may even seem that the information you are hearing in these snippets is contradictory to what you have already heard from other sources.
It can be very confusing and frustrating if you have an abundance of information without any guidance for applying it. You may feel that you are not sure if you need a lawyer or an accountant, or both, and if you do, where you might find the right one. You may not be sure exactly what to ask for even if you do find a lawyer. Do you need advice, and if so, what kind? Which documents do you need? Should you set up a trust? Can you do anything to reduce taxes?
It is difficult to get started on a large project of any kind when you are not sure whether your information is correct or even whether you understand the full picture. The end result for most people is that planning is postponed until they have more free time to deal with something that feels immense. Frequently the postponement turns into cancellation and it never gets finished at all. This might be the stage at which your parents find themselves right now.
To narrow down the flood of information to focus on what works for you, and to find reliable, applicable help, try some of the following tips:
• Ask someone you know (e.g., family member, friend, co-worker, neighbor, long-time banker) for names of lawyers who have helped them with wills or estates in the past.
• Always use experts as opposed to generalists when consulting professionals such as doctors, accountants, and lawyers. For example, if you are going to have a full competency evaluation done for an aging parent, it is better to find a geriatric specialist than a general practitioner.
• Go to lectures or seminars held by local lawyers, accountants, financial advisors, or banks that deal with will planning. They will give you local, up-to-date information and advice that is right for your geographic area, rather than information that may be national or even international in scope.
• If you find blogs for professionals who work in your state, province, or territory, read the blogs regularly and ask plenty of questions online.
• Always look at the location of the person writing the articles, books, or blogs to see whether the information will apply to your geographic area. Remember that the law can differ drastically from place to place.
• Decide whom, of all the people offering you advice, you like and trust. Stick with that person’s information and advice and work with him or her as a team. If you accept advice from too many people at the same time, you are likely to find contradictions. The contradictions arise because professionals sell advice, and their advice will be based on their experience, their judgment, the law, and your interpretation of the facts. Whenever judgment and experience come into play, there is room for a difference of opinion on what is best to do. Contradictions will be confusing and stressful for you.
You have already begun the process of planning by reading this book. You will begin to gather your thoughts as you read, and by the time you are finished, you will have a much clearer picture of what exactly your goals are for yourself and your parents, what specific issues might complicate matters for your family, and what needs to be done.
2. Not Knowing What It Will Cost
Most of us have to budget for large expenses. It can be hard to make room for large, unexpected bills. Many people say they do not have wills in place and have never done proper estate planning because they believe that it will be extremely expensive. They assume that if lawyers and accountants are involved, the planning process will perhaps be so expensive as to be beyond their means.
There can be a lot of uncertainty about the cost of estate planning before things get underway. As discussed in section 1., it is not always clear what steps need to be taken. If you do not know what needs to be done, you certainly cannot estimate what it might cost.
Unfortunately, the cost of not planning can far exceed the cost of planning. When people pass away without having made a will, there can be lawsuits, delays, unnecessary tax liability, and financial losses to the estate. When people lose mental capacity without having put a power of attorney or health-care directive into place, sometimes the only way to deal with pressing issues is to make an application to the court for trusteeship or guardianship. Obviously the cost of a court application is going to far exceed what it would have cost to make a document in the first place.
Keep in mind that the emotional cost (of the turmoil and fighting over an estate) can mount even faster than the financial bills. It is very common for families to fight over estates and that is because estate arguments are about more than money; they are about emotional issues as well. If you fail to plan ahead, you are more than likely condemning your own family to a turbulent situation. It is worthwhile to at least find out the real cost of estate planning and not rely on guesses.
Using this book will help you keep costs down. First of all, it will give you quite a bit of information and background about
