prepared for this role.
Having twice walked miles in a caregiver’s shoes, I feel well-able to share my experiences and knowledge in this book. I am neither a health-care professional nor a lawyer. Instead, I am a professional writer, a former caregiver, and my parents’ son and, therefore, I am well qualified to share in these pages.
Through reading this book, you will learn what I had to learn. You will be better prepared to tackle and positively continue with your own caregiving role. While I have written this book in hopes of helping others manage and cope, I have also written this for somewhat selfish reasons — those being to help rid myself of those personal demons and my continued doubt from my time as a caregiver, wondering if I could have done or accomplished more.
2
Defining Caregiving
“One person caring about another represents life’s greatest value.”
Jim Rohn
We are a greying population. The children of World War II’s returning soldiers are growing older. These are our society’s baby boomers. I fall into this category myself.
According to Statistics Canada’s 2011 Census, the number of Canadians classified as seniors (aged 65 or older) is on the rise, with no signs of slowing down. Seniors made up 14.8 percent of the Canadian population in 2011, up from 13.7 percent in 2006. If these percentages don’t speak to you, another way to look at things is by total numbers: There are now nearly 5 million seniors living amongst us. Table 1 provides an excellent visual.
Table 1: Percentage of the Population Aged 65 Years and Older
Table 2 shows an ongoing growth in the number of seniors for decades and illustrates why aging must become more of a national concern. In the past 90 years, this share of our country’s total population has skyrocketed.
Table 2: Persons Aged 65 Years and Older in the Canadian Population
In looking ahead, there are no signs of relief. The number of Canadian seniors is expected to nearly double by the year 2035, while our country’s number of children will be proportionately reduced. As more seniors retire from the workforce, more companies will be losing the experienced and more knowledgeable employees. Those same seniors, now drawing public pensions, will impact Canada’s economy. With increasing health concerns, which can come with aging, those same seniors will heavily impact our country’s provincial health-insurance plans. Unless something changes, more family members will be called on to step in and serve as inexperienced and unqualified caregivers.
A high population of seniors is not just a Canadian concern; it is becoming a global concern. There have been reports of alarming spikes in other countries’ senior populations. From 2001 to 2006, France saw a 16.2 percent increase in seniors, Germany experienced a 19.3 percent rise in this same demographic, and Japan reported a 20.8 percent growth. Should these numbers not speak to you, know that aging is a natural course of life and a high population of seniors is almost guaranteed as baby boomers age. This is an oncoming speeding car that cannot be avoided. With the rise in seniors expected, there will be a correlating rise in the number of professional and private caregivers.
1. Understanding the Roles of Caregivers
A caregiver can be simply defined as anyone who formally or informally helps tend to the needs of others — mentally, physically, emotionally, or spiritually.
It’s important to realize that caregivers exist on many different levels. There are the medical doctors who practice full time, the nurses who scurry from hospital room to hospital room, and the volunteers who push patients around in wheelchairs. A caregiver may also work part time and may not even identify himself or herself as someone caring for another. A neighbour could mow the lawn or shovel the walks for a housebound senior, a friend could drop in for a cup of coffee and chat, or a son or daughter could prepare and deliver a home-cooked meal. A minister can provide care and guidance on a spiritual level. A musician can visit a long-term care centre and entertain residents with songs. A small child can provide care by distracting a senior with innocent play. No matter what level a person serves as a caregiver, he or she is doing noble work.
Some caregivers are not even humans! A dog can provide care through unconditional love. Many long-term and acute-care facilities are increasingly offering pet therapy where animals either live in or are brought into the facility for residents. Stroking the fur of a dog or having a cat purr in a person’s lap can be very soothing. Before you bring your pet into your parent’s care facility, clear this with the appropriate authorities. Consider that the sudden excited barking of a dog could upset other residents, and the long hair of a cat could cause unpleasant and potentially dangerous allergic reactions for others.
We often think of parents providing care for their children. This is one of the most obvious examples of caregiving. With Canada’s aging society, we are rethinking that norm and now understand and accept that adult children can so easily become caregivers for their own parents. Caregiving may inch up on you (e.g., a parent’s chronic health condition) or it may happen overnight (e.g., a parent falls and becomes crippled). Should you become a caregiver for both of your parents, it can also happen both ways. You can never totally forecast the future. My father, on the one hand, was always a little forgetful, so Alzheimer’s disease was not a total surprise. My mother’s conditions, on the other hand, came without any warning.
No matter what type of health condition exists (e.g., cancer, multiple sclerosis, kidney disease), caregivers can face a steep learning curve to become more knowledgeable. They will research the condition to become familiar with the symptoms, outcomes, and possible treatments. Sometimes, family caregivers feel shame about having to care for their aging parents. Feared humiliation or a lack of understanding from others can lead to reluctant whispers of admission. This is unfortunate as caregivers should be very proud of their role.
2. Remember to Take Care of Yourself
Whether you are just starting your caregiving responsibilities or have been tending to your parent for some time, you will have likely recognized the incredible toll that caregiving can take on you.
One of the most common caregiver complaints is stress. Stress is your body’s natural reaction to dangerous or uncomfortable situations. You can fight, or take flight. Any number of issues can be caused by excessive stress such as insomnia, moodiness, increased susceptibility to sickness, and poor appetite.
When my parents were alive, I found myself incessantly worrying about both of them, although their health conditions were far beyond my control. I am usually quite easygoing; however, I became prone to snapping at others. I also noticed that as I was rushing from one appointment to the next, I became much more aggressive behind the steering wheel. I paced impatiently while standing in lines. I repeatedly checked the clock or my watch while waiting at appointments. Many nights, I did not sleep well. My appetite decreased, and on the rare occasion when I was hungry, dinner was a frozen pizza, lunch the next day would be a leftover slice of that same pizza, and breakfast would be a cup of coffee and a stale blueberry muffin that I picked up on the way to work.
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