reality, an integrity and trustworthiness which is undeniable (Jessop and Penny 1999).
An overview of each young person’s story is presented as an outline which was spoken in answer to questions which asked about their families, their homes and their experiences. For these outlines to be effective as clear and simple accounts, the voices of the young people cannot be directly heard at this time. This chapter is setting the scene and as such is devoid of ‘talk’. The opening of a great drama must provide the context in which it is set. The places, the times, the characters on stage are introduced, and only then can the drama unfold through the script. The stories were constructed in the same way as a précis exercise in that the original interviews were recorded and then listened to many times. After a period of reflection, the question was asked, ‘What are the main points being made?’ Then while the words of the young person are ringing in the mind, the main points are listed and joined together in a logical way. That is to say, they are linked according to their relationship one with another.
Those conversations we have where there is no recording device need to be handled in the same way. Just as professionals are called upon to record interactions, and reflect upon their meaning and be analytical in their approach, this methodology can be applied to any initial interpretation of a story revealed. It is true that we cannot listen again and again. All the more reason to listen very acutely the first time – much may depend upon it.
It may be possible to take notes with the young person’s consent. This would assist in deciphering the main points, enabling the later construction of the bare bones. As you read the following stories, it might be helpful to view them in the light of being like the laying of the first stone in the foundation of a great building. As such they are essential, but they form only a very small part of the whole.
The young people’s names have been altered so as to protect their identities. Places and names are omitted to avoid any possibility of identification.
Scott
Scott was 13 years old at the time he shared his story. The domestic violence went on for a long time, several years in Scott’s life. He had protected his younger brothers and sisters by taking them out of the danger. Sometimes, he was prompted to intervene, but feelings of fear would sometimes prevent him. He had seen his mother hurt. He had felt that he knew when the violent episodes were going to happen, and this had been ‘weird’. He had thought when he was younger that domestic violence was acceptable, and he had been abusive to his mother. His awakening to the error of his thinking came suddenly when the police were called to his home because of his violent behaviour. He was put in a police cell for a time and had decided to change his behaviour; this had been successfully achieved as he had been told by more than one support worker that he had really improved.
He had learnt to value his experiences, and wanted to use them to help others. He had gained knowledge of how to support other people from one teacher in particular, and he had found that he was good at emulating what he had received, and making a difference to people around him. He had been instrumental in helping young people with problems using the methods employed by those who had supported him. He viewed these skills as something he would take into the future by becoming a support worker. At present he is happy at home; the perpetrator has been gone for some time. School is improving as he supports his friends, although he admits he finds the work at school to be problematic and difficult still. He has found strategies which have helped him deal with his feelings. He has used drawing and time-out to express and dispel powerful emotions. He feels more in control, and is enjoying family life. One aspect has been to go to church with his family and he believes in personal prayer.
Coral
Coral was 14 years old when she shared her story. Coral played a crucial part in her family’s life. It was clear that her opinion was in the end a significant factor which made a huge difference to the way her mother saw their situation. Coral describes how her family had stayed together because her mother felt that staying together was the best option for the children. Despite things getting so bad that her mother had left the father, taking the children, more than once, and had gone into a refuge at least once but then had returned, Coral considered her role in the final decision to leave and not go back as being central to her mother’s decision. There is a strong feeling that Coral’s opinion was so important to her mother, that her voicing of her belief that her mother should leave for good was a turning point in the family. This resulted in action which was never gone back on. It is a very strong element which is reflected throughout her story. Her relationship with her mother possessed a closeness which appears to go beyond the boundaries of a mother/daughter relationship.
Coral’s independence of people outside her mother and brothers is also a strong element, and there seems to be a lack of need, or a profession to the effect, for anyone else to be involved in her life while the family was going through very difficult experiences. Coral had tried to support her younger brothers and her mother, but had recognised that her involvement in the domestic violence had made things worse for her mother. Again this was a deciding factor in what she had decided to do. The details of her life are not dwelled upon, except in one or two exceptional instances.
Generally, Coral responds to her experiences in ways which demonstrate her maturity in emotional and psychological terms. She reflects upon her witnessing the domestic violence in calm and matter-of-fact ways without dwelling on any particular experiences; this appears to highlight her acceptance and acknowledgement of negative experiences in the light of her concern for her mother. Her own wishes appear to come about through the strength she has accumulated as she responded in vigilant and caring ways to her younger brothers and to her mother. She is able to state and act upon what she thinks is right, and accepts the consequences of her actions without complaint or regret. She is satisfied with her life with her family as it has become, and although there is no reference to her step-father, it is clear from her expressions of acceptance that she is apparently content with what has come about.
Terry
Terry was 13 years old at the time of his retelling his story. Terry has a troubled story which centres on his witnessing of his mother’s suffering caused by appalling domestic violence. His story is not sequential, in that there seems to be a lack of continuity as far as events are concerned, but the images he creates, for example of him trying to push his father off his mother, his description of the domestic violence perpetrated against his sister’s boyfriend and his father’s behaviour in various settings are all vividly explained and described, creating powerful impressions.
Terry has remained close to his mother throughout the changes that have taken place. His loyalty is to her and to his family who are sympathetic to her and to her experiences. He is absolutely clear in his mind about what it was that brought about the violence against his mother and himself, and has no doubt that in some measure the controlling purpose of the violence has continued beyond his parents’ separation. His emotional state is underpinned by a strong sense of injustice, which he sees as permeating and dominating the experiences of his family since the break-up. Despite the improvement in his mother’s health which he has observed, in that the awful physical and mental abuse has ceased and she is no longer crying continuously, and is no longer suffering physical harm, he is aware that there are forces beyond her control which oppose her, and which anger and bewilder him. A very important aspect for him is that a degree of sympathy is shown to his father, which he sees as undeserving. He cannot conceal his contempt for those who make judgements which he sees as unfair and unsupported by the reality of their lives.
The relationships which he prizes are based upon the recognition of his feelings, and which demonstrate a strong empathic understanding of his position. His sister’s boyfriend, his sister and his mother are all embraced by Terry’s view that there has to be support present to enable the relationships to flourish. This support can override all kinds of other issues which might have prejudiced the relationship, for example the fact that his sister’s boyfriend was ‘coloured’. This was an issue for Terry,
