“Can you give me an example?”
Action. “What will you do?”, “When will you do it?”, “How will I know you did it?”, “What are your next steps?”
Response to ideas. “How does that sound to you?”, “What benefits do you think you will gain from…?”, “Does that answer the issue?”
Effective questioning combined with active listening form a fundamental set of communication skills for business.
Think about the people you work with. You’ll probably find that there are two types: big picture people and detail people. Big picture people like to hear little detail. Detail people don’t like discussing abstract concepts. Each type will only really take in what you say to them effectively if you communicate in the right-sized ‘chunk’ of detail.
The simplest way to think about this is that these two different types of thinkers process information in distinct ways. This is important to know and recognize if you want to influence other people with your communication.
Once you know the difference is there, look out for signs of how much detail or abstract information a person appears to be able to process, and respond flexibly in your communication.
Big picture people. Another term for big picture people is ‘global thinkers’. If you are communicating information to a global thinker, stop giving lots of detailed information and focus on the big picture. If you focus too much on detail, they will rapidly become bored or overwhelmed, and fail to either understand what you are saying or be
one minute wonder Your flexibility in communication will make an enormous difference to your effectiveness. Do you know what level of detail you like to communicate most? If you know your habits, you can challenge yourself to become a more flexible communicator.
influenced by you. The best thing to say to a global thinker is: “Here’s the big picture…”. Stay abstract and don’t give too many details. If you need to give detailed information, then give the big picture first: “Here’s the big picture…now I am going to give you some details.”
Detail people. Detail people, on the other hand, need to start with detail before they can become engaged with what you have to say about the wider idea. They can’t handle it if you start talking too conceptually. Say to them, “Here are the details.” Be specific and don’t use abstractions. If you need them to focus on the detail and keep an eye on the big picture, give them both in this way: “Here are the details…and here’s the big picture.”
Find out which members of your team and which of your clients like to communicate predominately in which way, and you will gain much more control over your communication.
Work out whether your team are big picture or detail communicators.
There is another key difference between people that’s worth paying attention to. It is what’s sometimes called the preferred language type. In everyday language, we often use words associated with the senses: seeing, hearing and feeling. This relates to how we process information. If you communicate according to the preferred choice of the listener, they will be more open to what you say.
People who use a lot of words associated with seeing understand better if you use similar words back to them, and it’s the same for other senses, such as hearing and feeling.
Visual. Here are some examples of the kinds of phrases you can use when communicating with a visually inclined person: “Appears to me”, “Get a perspective on”, “In view of”, “Eye to eye”, “Hazy idea”, “Dim view”, “In light of”, “Mental image”, “Paint a picture”, “Looks like”, “Short sighted”, “Pretty as a picture”.
Auditory. Other people use words associated with hearing and sound. Use these types of phrases to make them feel ‘in tune’: “Clearly expressed”, “Earful”, “Loud and clear”, “Tongue-tied”, “Power
“The most basic of all human needs is the need to understand and be understood. The best way to understand people is to listen to them”
Ralph Nichols, business coach
of speech”, “Rings a bell”, “Clear as a bell”, “To tell the truth”, “Outspoken”, “Tuned in/out”, “Voiced an opinion”.
Kinaesthetic. Finally, some people prefer words associated with feeling, known as the kinaesthetic sense: “Come to grips with”, “Firm foundations”, “Cool, calm and collected”, “Get a handle on”, “Get the drift of”, “Get in touch with”, “Grapple with”, “Fight your corner”.
It may take you a while to get to grips with this concept, but if you tune in to the different ways in which different people speak, you will begin to notice that they use varying amounts of sense-specific words. Once you have become attuned to how other people speak, you can adapt your own language accordingly. This will build your ability to be a highly flexible communicator. You can also practise by reading. Notice how different writers are more visual, auditory or kinaesthetic in the way that they write.
The sense someone chooses corresponds to how they process thoughts so this is a very vital piece of communication to observe.
Pick your words carefully according to who you are communicating with.
In conversation people tend to pay attention only to the words they use. However, communication takes place on many levels, some conscious, others unconscious. By understanding your own body language, you will create a stronger business presence and make a favourable impression every time you meet a colleague or client. Reading other people’s body language will help you become aware of subtle dynamics and deeper levels of communication.
“Trust me”, says the salesperson you meet for the first time. But something about them looks shifty. How long will it take you to get over that first impression? Our first impressions are formed within as little as 10 seconds, and the first impression is hard to shift, so you need to make sure you’ve made a positive one.
It’s not only your words that make an impression when you meet someone but also your body language. Whether you are talking to someone over the phone, introducing yourself face to face or simply walking into a room and looking around without speaking, your body is saying even more than what’s coming out of your mouth.
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