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– its Greek – he said – tho I hadnt asked – its what the Greek army – in retreat from Marathon – all shouted in releif – when they breasted a hill – & saw the Aegean – which meant they were home – I know how they felt – my own heart always swells when I glimpse our own dear North Sea –
I suppose he was trying to impress me with his classical learning – & his poetic sensibility – but I just felt he was trying a bit too hard – plus when I checked the word on the Internet – I also got the history – & the plonker didnt even have his facts right! Not Marathon – but some place called Cunaxa – & not the Aegean – but the Black Sea!
I said – OK – now weve established what it is – are we going to swim in it? –
He said – of course – & then – youre not going to believe this – he pushed his trunks down – & stepped out of them – so there I was – standing alongside this guy wearing nothing but his big nobbly Rolex – thats his watch I mean! – with his trio of womenfolk not thirty yards away.
I said – for Godsake! –
He said – dont be shocked – I always skinny-dip –
I said – Ive got 4 bros – plus I grew up on a farm – Im not shocked – but what about Lady D – & the others?
He laughed & said – oh theyre used to it – auntie pretends to look the other way – but like many old country ladies she likes her meat well hung – & Ive often caught her taking a peek –
– through powerful binoculars you mean? – I said – sneering – quite unjustly! – hed have made a donkey envious! – then waded out till the water was deep enough to dive into.
He took his watch off – dropped it on his trunks – followed me in – came up alongside me – & stayed there – doing a pretty fair crawl – smiling at me from time to time – as if to say – dont worry – I wont sprint away & leave you – so youre quite safe –
Well – you know me – not the fastest thing on fins – but can keep going forever.
There was a buoy – about 1/4 mile offshore – I fixed my eyes on it – & got into my rhythm. He stuck with me for a while – then dropped behind – & when I reached the buoy it was 3 or 4 minutes before he joined me. He tried a smile – but I could see he was knackered – & I started to feel guilty. Just cos he had a lousy chat-up line didnt mean he deserved to drown! & dragging that thing along beneath him must have been like a plane trying to take off with its flaps down!
We clung on to the buoy for a few minutes – then I said – ready for home?
He nodded – & I set off back – breast stroke this time – a lot slower – & it gave me room to keep an eye on him.
By the time we reached the shallows – he was so whacked – a little wave knocked him over when he tried to stand up.
Big test time now – would he turn nasty – or could he take it?
He collapsed on the sand. Wed come ashore about 30 feet from where wed left our gear.
He gasped – do me a favour – Charley – fetch my trunks will you? – Id like to be buried decent – but not at sea – please! –
So that was OK. Dont mind a prat – so long as he can laugh at himself.
I fetched his watch & his trunks – he made himself decent – then we sat on the sand together – warming ourselves in the sun – till he got his breath back.
I said – do you ski as well as you swim? –
He said – better – youll be glad to hear – but I usually keep my clothes on. Why? –
I said – I was out in Switzerland before Christmas – near Davos – bunch of my mates from uni – thought I saw your sister there – at a dance – but could be wrong. Kind of place us poor students party at – not really her thing – I shouldnt think –
He pulled a face & said – might well have been – Aunt Daph had a rush of blood to the head – took me & Ess on a skiing holiday last Christmas – near Davos –
That was generous of her – I said – where were you staying? – Morasinis? – The Fluela? –
– O no – he laughed – dear aunties not that generous! – we had a chalet – but in fairness it was very comfortably appointed –
– so why would Esther be moving & grooving with the plebs? – I pressed.
– why not? – he said in the casual tone the upper classes use to disguise an evasion. – Could be there was a ski instructor she fancied – holiday romance – no strings – no harm – but wouldnt do for auntie –
I almost asked – whats it to do with her? – but I didnt need to – being such a clever observer of human behaviour! She who pays the piper calls the tune – right? Lady D definitely would not care for the prospect of any of her money – now or later – finding its way into the pocket of a penniless foreigner. So if her beloved neice wanted to stay in her good books & her will – shed better pick her young men v carefully. The HB feels much the same – so the way youre going – Ill probably be getting your share!
I was also recalling that – according to George – Emil was a student – not a ski instructor. Teddy – I thought – either youre lying – or Ess lied to you –
I said – so Esther went slumming with us plebs – & Lady D never found out –
He said – happily auntie had her own affairs to divert her –
The way he stressed affairs got me curious – but our interesting chat must have been observed – for now it was interrupted by a sergeant major bellow – Teddy! – what are you doing down there? – Time for lunch! –
The bart flinched – & made a face – but he still started to get to his feet.
Shes really got him at the end of a leash – I thought as we headed back to the group. Must be hard for both of them – having to be careful who they got the hots for – in case Lady D disapproved. Wonder how shed feel about me?
I was soon to find out!
The women were all on their feet. Clara was gathering up their stuff – bags – towels – Lady Ds folding chair – while Esther gazed out to sea like she was trying to freeze it over. Lady D greeted me with a stern look – then she said – Miss Heywood – if you could lend me your arm – too much sitting makes me stiff –
Not much sign of stiffness – the speed with which she walked me away from the others – but it quickly became clear what she wanted was a private chat.
– a word to the wise – she said – Teddy is a fine young man –
– yes – I noticed – I said.
That got me a sharp glance – then she went on – but alas – he may flatter to decieve –
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