suit, a woman holding a blanket-wrapped baby in her arms.
Carolyn felt chills sweep her. “So if your mom hadn’t come out of the anesthetic early, she might never have thought there was another living child.”
He shook his head. “If I really do have a brother, it’s a miracle that we know to start looking for him. At the same time, I don’t want to get my hopes up. Why did Mom never remember this before? That’s what I keep coming back to.”
“I had surgery once for something minor,” she said, not meeting his eyes and not about to tell him her deepest, darkest secret, “and I was very groggy when I awakened. I was also more nauseated than I’d ever been in my life. To be honest, I was focused on the pain I’d begun to feel and not my surroundings.”
“Maybe that’s what Mom experienced. Anyway, being in the hospital seemed to make Mom want to talk about her life. I never knew as much about my mother as I did during those days before she died. I wish I’d tape-recorded it for Lucy’s sake, because I can’t possibly remember everything she said.”
Carolyn smiled. “You sound like it was a good experience for you.”
“It was. I could tell she’d made her peace with her situation, and that she wasn’t afraid of—“ He took a deep breath. “And that made me not afraid. But then all of a sudden, she became noticeably weaker. She began talking about my brother, and it was as if she couldn’t…let herself die until she’d relived those moments of her delivery. I saw her turn into a frightened young girl who was upset that her baby was coming when her husband, her most trusted friend and provider, was out of town. Her parents weren’t close enough to make it in time. She was young, alone, afraid.”
“Possibly a ripe target for a baby ring, if that is indeed what happened.”
“Maybe so. She was vulnerable, that’s for sure. And there were no witnesses, except for the doctor’s wife, and she’s not going to want to tell us anything, if there is something to tell.”
“Did you happen to look through Eileen’s records when she was in the hospital? Usually they’re close at hand with the nurses.”
He shook his head. “I never even thought to look at her chart. How would that have helped?”
“Probably it wouldn’t have. But I would have been curious to know if your mother continued to see Dr. Benton after your birth.”
“I don’t think she did. Otherwise I would have remembered him. Her oncologist is Dr. Tristan Collins. I can’t say I liked him very well. He was overconfident and young. Perhaps if I’d met him under different circumstances… Actually, I believe I was put off by the fact that he was so young. The nurses were smitten with him, and so was Mom. She kind of glowed whenever he came into the room.” He smiled wryly. “I wanted a grizzled, mature doctor like the ones you see on television to miraculously heal my mother.”
Carolyn lowered her eyes for a second. “I’m so sorry, Ben.”
“Oh, I was just mad at the world, I guess. Dr. Collins has an excellent medical record, and he made my mom happy because he didn’t treat her as if she were sickly and fragile, which she was. He treated her as if she were still vibrant and beautiful, which was exactly what she needed at the time.” He stared at his hands. “Dr. Collins is how we discovered Lucy was ill.”
“What do you mean?”
“Mom was taking care of Lucy for me one day about six months ago. She went by Dr. Collins’s office to get some paperwork, and he happened to walk through the waiting room. He stopped to chat to Lucy—she’s quite a chatterbox-and he noticed a bruise on her arm. He asked Mom about it. Mom was astonished and assured Dr. Collins that the bruise hadn’t been there when she’d helped Lucy dress. She couldn’t remember Lucy bumping into anything, or getting knocked down by one of the dogs. Dr. Collins suggested Mom walk Lucy down the hall to one of his colleagues, a pediatrician. He called himself to have the doctor take a look at the bruise, which was ugly and big and greenish-blue.”
He stopped, and Carolyn pinned her gaze on him, not wanting to hear the rest and yet knowing she had to. She gave Ben time to assemble his thoughts.
“And that,” Ben said softly, “is how we came to have Lucy tested for leukemia. I don’t have to tell you that my whole world came undone.”
Carolyn sat very still.
“Perversely, I don’t like Dr. Collins, when I know very well he is the only person who gave us a fighting chance with Lucy’s life.”
She put a hand on his briefly. “Ben, no one is going to blame you for wanting to shoot the messenger. You’ve lost your mom and your daughter is ill. You can have all the skewed emotions you want. I’m sure Dr. Collins would understand.”
“Lucy has tremendous regard for him. When she had her first round of chemotherapy, Dr. Collins came to visit her in the hospital.”
“I see.”
“With a giant teddy bear.”
She made a note on her pad. “I should talk to Dr. Collins and see if he has anything he can share about your mother that isn’t restricted to doctor-patient confidentiality.”
Ben remained silent.
“Ben?”
His gaze traveled over her, ever so slowly, and a strange sensation swept through her as he assessed her businesslike suit, her chin-length auburn hair, even her fingernails, which were short and coated with clear polish. Suddenly, she longed for sexy red polish and long, elegant nails.
“You haven’t changed at all, Carolyn,” Ben told her.
She didn’t know if that was a compliment or just a general observation.
“Only you would understand that I was mad at that doctor for being the one to figure out Lucy was ill and for not being able to cure Mom. I wanted the impossible from him, and no matter how irrational that is, you just sit there and nod your head. Like you understand everything I’m feeling, even if I can’t understand it very well myself.” He paused for a moment before saying, “It feels great to talk to you again, Carolyn.”
Searching around for something to say amid the morass of emotions that engulfed her, Carolyn found herself spared by the opening of the agency door. Marissa strode in, and Lucy sprang into her daddy’s lap.
Marissa looked at Carolyn, a question mark in her eyes.
Carolyn stared at the beautiful woman who seemed on the surface to have everything, and then at the man holding the little girl who meant the world to him. “This is as good a place to start as any,” she said to Ben. “Let me call a few people, and then we’ll talk again.”
They watched her, and Carolyn had the distinct feeling she was the point on a triangle the other two sides needed to retain their shape. She stood, arming herself with professional courtesy.
“I know you have to get to the airport, Marissa, so I won’t keep you further. Lucy, I’ll be seeing you soon.”
She smiled at the family as they walked in front of her to the door.
Ben turned back to stare at her, and she met
