She sat in the silence for a few moments, quietly thinking about Ben and everything he’d been through. Examining the feelings she’d once had for him.
Strangely enough, it had not been difficult to see him with Marissa. Not the way she’d always imagined it would be.
Breath stole back into her body. She was okay—her emotions surprisingly unscathed.
If Lily and Dylan wanted her to begin the initial casework, she could handle it. Eileen’s faith in her gave her the backbone and desire to make certain everything in her power was done to find a miracle for Lucy.
The first thing she was going to do was put in a call to the hospital to find out how she herself could be tested as a donor match for Lucy. She knew the initial step was a simple blood test, but maybe, just maybe, she could justify Eileen’s faith in her. Even if the missing brother turned out to be nothing but the wistful hallucination of a dying woman, Carolyn herself might be able to provide the miracle Lucy needed.
Ben would never have to know.
* * *
DR. COLLINS smiled at her when he met her in his office, and Carolyn recognized immediately that they shared a common interest.
“Thank you for seeing me, Doctor.”
“My pleasure. I, too, fell under Lucy Mulholland’s spell.” He smiled at Carolyn. “She is a very sweet little girl. And she’s going to be a heartbreaker when she grows up. Not of her own doing, of course. She’s like her grandmother and father. A gentle species.”
Carolyn blinked. “I couldn’t agree more.”
The doctor nodded, his blue eyes dark and serious now. “Eileen was a favorite patient of mine. We’re not supposed to have favorites, I guess. All patients should be regarded equally. But Eileen had sparkle. She was a real trooper.”
Carolyn cleared her throat, sensing the doctor’s sadness. This was not the time to pry about Eileen, so she stuck with her basic question. “You were going to tell me about the blood testing process.”
“The first stage is simple. You’ll get a blood test, which we can do here at the hospital, and the results will be analyzed.” He smiled, his eyes bright with humor. “I will admit to having been caught in Lucy’s spell myself, and rendered up my own arm for a test.”
Carolyn stared at him.
“Unfortunately, I’m not a match for her. Perhaps you’ll have better luck.”
“She’s had the leukemia for a while, hasn’t she?”
“I think she must have had it for a year before she was tested,” the doctor said quietly. “Her leukemia is fairly advanced, which is creating greater havoc in finding a donor, as more selective matches must be created.”
Carolyn felt Dr. Collins’s intense gaze. Instinctively she knew that he missed nothing. If she had any outward symptoms of ill health, he would have seen them by now. She got up, told herself she was being irrational, but did her best to suck in her scarred abdomen anyway. “Thank you for your assistance, Dr. Collins. I appreciate your taking the time to see me.”
“We’ll keep our fingers crossed that you get better news than I did.” He walked her to the office door. “Tell Mr. Mulholland hello if you see him.”
“I will. Thank you.” She forced a smile and hurried from the office. Once in her car, she dropped her purse into the front seat and let down the windows. September heat was stifling in Texas, but her breathlessness came from a different source. She turned on the car and hit the air conditioner button.
Hot air blasted her. She put her head back against the headrest and closed her eyes.
Control. Ben felt out of control—that’s why he resented Dr. Collins. Ben wasn’t confident these days of his own ability to protect his family.
Carolyn took a deep breath and glanced at the clock. In one hour, she would have the preliminary test that could prove her a match possibility for Lucy. She didn’t feel in control, either.
She dialed a number on her cell phone. “Hi,” she said when her best friend, Emily, answered.
“Hey, Caro.”
“What would you say if I told you that Ben Mulholland came to see me yesterday?”
“That it was an interesting turn of events. How did he look?”
Carolyn smiled at the teasing tone in Emily’s voice. “He hasn’t changed much in the looks department.”
“So your heart went pitty-pat?”
She rolled her eyes. “I met his daughter, and his wife. Ex-wife.”
“And?”
“His daughter is sick with leukemia.”
“Oh, no!”
“She’s five, Em, and she’s adorable. Precious. Demanding. Wants as much of her daddy as she can get.”
“Ahem. And your heart…”
“Went right out the window. I’m waiting to have a blood test right now to see if I’m a preliminary match.”
“Oh, God, Caro,” Emily said on a sigh. “You were born a trouper.”
“Don’t tell anyone.”
“Of course not. But I love you for being brave.”
Carolyn thought about the lines of anxiety around Ben’s eyes, the tightness around Marissa’s million-dollar lips. “I’m not brave. I’m so afraid I’m looking for an easy way out.”
“Meaning?”
“Ben came to me with a case request, and I’m not sure I’m the one to handle it.”
“And you’re calling me to get the green light.”
“I’m calling you for a healthy dose of common sense.”
Emily cleared her throat. “Let me see if I have the picture right. Ben wants you to help him with something, but already you feel the tugging of little heartstrings not just for him, but for his too cute daughter who is very ill. And you’re not sure you can keep your heart from getting steamrolled flat again. So you’re having the blood test done on the improbable chance that you’re a match, so you could give him what his daughter needs and duck out on him.”
“Without sparing me, you seem to have outlined my dilemma pretty well,” Carolyn muttered.
“You’re still in love with him.”
“Would that shock you?”
“Would it shock me? No. Would it astound me that you finally admitted it? Yes. Beyond words, actually.”
Carolyn closed her eyes. “Oh, Emily. What a mess.”
