you with this news, but in one sense, it is a blessing. Few men are given the chance to know when their end is coming. I have time to prepare. You will have time to prepare as well. You must find someone to care for you when I cannot. Wayne is a goot man. A fine farmer. I hope you will consider him.”
Emma arose and carried her mug to the kitchen sink. Setting it carefully on the counter, she stared out the window. How could she refuse Zachariah’s request? She couldn’t. Everything she had, everything she believed in, was due to the kindness and love of the man who had chosen to become her father.
“Where are the boys?” he asked.
She stared out the kitchen window at the snow-covered farm looking pristine and sparkling as the clouds parted and sunshine chased away the gloomy afternoon. God’s beautiful white blanket covered the holes in the barn roof and disguised the junk her father piled up along the sides of the sheds. No one could see how the henhouse roof sagged or how badly it needed to be replaced. “They took a load of firewood to Jim Morgan’s place. They should have been back by now.”
“You know how they like to look at Jim’s toys. Maybe he is giving them a ride on his motorcycle again.”
“I hope not.” She hated that her brothers were fascinated with Englisch vehicles. She disliked that Jim and his brother encouraged them, but her family needed the money Jim was willing to pay for the wood the boys cut and hauled.
Her poor brothers. They would be heartbroken when they learned this news about their father. She wanted to ease the pain for them, but she didn’t know how. Tears pricked the back of her eyes. She brushed them away. “I wish they would come home. I know you want to share this news with them, sad though it is.”
“I will tell them, but not yet. Not today.”
She turned to face him. “Why wait?”
He stirred his coffee without looking at her. “Christmas is coming. You know how excited Alvin is about his school Christmas program. I don’t want to ruin that for him. This news can wait until after the New Year. A month or two won’t make any difference. Perhaps by then they will have the news of your coming marriage to cheer them up and make them feel secure.”
“I see your point.” Except that meant she would have to carry the burden of this information alone.
“I hear someone coming. Is it the boys?”
The sound of hoofbeats reached her. She glanced out the window and her traitorous heart gave the same funny little flip it always did when she caught sight of Luke Bowman. He drew his buggy to a stop in front of the house.
Luke. The man she had once hoped to marry. The same man who had made it painfully clear that he didn’t care about her at all. The memory of their parting years ago still had the power to bring tears to her eyes.
Jim Morgan had been the one who told her Luke was leaving that night. She had packed a bag and rushed to find him before it was too late. At the bus station, she had gripped his arm, willing him to see how much she cared.
“I love you, Luke. More than my own life. More than my family. I’ll go anywhere as long as I can be with you. You need me as much as I need you. I know you love me.”
He brushed her hand aside. His face was blank as he stared at the ground. “You don’t get it, Emma. I don’t need you. I don’t want you tagging after me. Stay here. Live a simple life. Be happy with some farmer and have six kids of your own.”
“I don’t want to stay without you. I love you. Please, let me come with you.”
“Why would I? You’ve become a nuisance. I don’t love you, Emma. I never did.” He turned away and started to board the bus as her heart broke into tiny pieces. On the steps, he paused. “Forget about me. Find someone else.”
He took a seat by the window and left her weeping at the bus station. He never looked back. She knew because she had watched until the bus was gone from sight.
She had meant nothing to him, while he had meant everything to her.
But not anymore.
It was a blessing that he had rejected her offer to go out into the world with him. Nineteen, lovestruck and foolishly naive, she hadn’t understood the powerful hold his growing drug use had on him then. She thought her prayers and her love could change him, save him from himself, but she had been wrong. Luke had been caught in a downward spiral that brought shame and heartache to her and to his family. He had disappeared into the city where he went from using drugs to selling them until he was arrested. It had taken time in prison to free him from his addiction.
Emma blew out a deep breath as she watched Luke get out of his buggy. She’d gotten over her feelings for him ages ago. Now, he was simply someone she chose to avoid. In the year and a half that he had been back among the Amish, she’d managed never to be alone with him.
Pushing her painful memories and broken dreams into the deep recesses of her heart, she dumped her coffee down the drain. “Luke Bowman is here.”
“Luke? I wonder what he wants.”
“Are you going to come in with me?” Still seated in Luke’s buggy, young Alvin gazed fearfully at the house.
“Ja, I’ll come in.” Luke knew exactly how the boy felt. He’d been in the same position more than once in his life—having to face the consequence of his foolhardiness. The boy had learned a hard lesson today. Older brothers did not always know best.
Luke stood in the cold air waiting for the boy to get out. His hands still ached, but at least he had the feeling back in them now. His buggy horse whinnied to Zachariah’s horse hitched at the rail in front of the house. The black gelding nickered back. Flecks of foam on the animal proved the horse had covered more than a few miles recently. Why hadn’t he been put away? It was bad for a sweaty horse to be left standing in the cold. Zachariah knew that. Maybe he was leaving again soon.
“She’s gonna be mad.” Alvin scooted a shade closer to the open door but didn’t get out.
Luke knew whom the boy meant. “She’ll be thankful that you’re safe. Trust me.”
“For a little bit. Then she’s gonna be mad. You don’t know what my shveshtah is like when she gets her feathers ruffled.”
“Actually, I do know what your sister is like when she’s angry.”
Luke didn’t bother trying to explain ancient history to the worried boy with him, but he still recalled the tongue lashings Emma had given him when she’d discovered he and Jim were experimenting with drugs. His life would have been a lot better if he’d taken her scolding to heart, but he hadn’t. He’d let the drugs pull him deeper and deeper into trouble until he ended up in prison. Like most fools, he’d had to learn his lesson the hard way. Even now, he worried that he might fall back into his old ways without the threat of prison hanging over his head.
Alvin finally got out of the buggy. Luke followed him up the porch steps. At the door, Alvin drew a deep breath and turned the doorknob. Luke followed him in. Emma and Zachariah were waiting for them in the clean and cheery kitchen. The room had wide-plank pine floors. A blue checkered cloth covered the long table
