have a great family. Aside from my mum, Ben’s all I have.’
Ash’s chest grew tighter and tighter. Telling Ben about them would shift things between him and Essie far outside the realms of fun. But if he was honest he’d lost his precious control of this attraction days ago.
Fight for her.
Where the fuck had that come from?
She looked wearier than he’d ever seen her. He’d underestimated the toll this had all taken on her, or he’d seen it but ignored it because he was selfish and wanted her still. He cupped her cheek. ‘Why don’t you head upstairs? Take a bath? Things are pretty much over here. Just some mushy shit going on over there.’ He jerked his head back in the direction of his sappy sisters, who were a bit tipsy and had sandwiched Jack between them on the dance floor for one last slow dance.
She nodded, her eyes glassy as she stared at their entwined fingers in her lap. And then she shook it off, her expression brightening as she watched the twin sandwich on display. ‘Fun fact—did you know that simply holding hands with the person you love can alleviate pain and fear and reduce stress? It’s the oxytocin the brain releases.’
He nodded, his throat so damned tight he had to loosen his collar. ‘I’ll tell the happy couple.’
She stood, glancing over at the dance floor. ‘I think they know.’ She smiled down at him, the saddest smile he’d ever seen, before she turned to leave.
He halted her retreat. ‘Don’t worry about Ben.’
She shook her head. ‘Don’t worry about your mum.’
She left him floundering at the centre of the monumental mess he’d made.
* * *
Ash tapped gently on the door to Essie’s hotel room, his eyes scanning the corridor. He had no explanation for why he stood at her door at one a.m., for any of the wedding party who might spot him. He just knew a team of wild horses couldn’t keep him away.
If this was to be their last night before he confronted Ben tomorrow, he just had to kiss her one last time. Hold her once more. See the rapture on her face as they shared one last intimacy. Somehow, between the fun facts and the fun sex, she’d worked her way under his skin. All of her—her beauty, her vulnerabilities, her thirst for new experiences.
The door flew open and there she stood, dressed in a baggy, oversized T-shirt that hung from one shoulder, her long, pale legs leading to the views of nirvana he knew were underneath. He had no right to touch her—he never had—but he wanted her anyway. With the same ferocity of need he’d experienced since the day they’d met.
How had he ever imagined himself immune to her? He was a fool and it was too late for a vaccine.
‘Invite me in.’ He tried to temper the gruffness from his voice, but he craved her so badly he could hardly draw breath. Perhaps it was the promise of one last time. But however he looked at it, he couldn’t stay away. And he suspected it was simply Essie herself that drove his uncontrollable need. A need he’d have to quash soon.
Unless you keep her.
Fuck. She wasn’t a possession. And she deserved way more than a commitment-phobic, cynical asshole like him. She deserved her happily-ever-after—the whole cake, not just the crumbs. Her scientific love. And he was the last man qualified to give her that.
But he could give her the only thing he’d ever given her.
A fun time. A new experience.
Why did it sound so empty? Hollow? Pathetic?
She held the door open and he stepped inside. As soon as she’d shut it behind him, she turned to face him. ‘I need to talk to—’
Ash pressed his fingers over her soft lips. ‘I know what you need. What we both need.’ He’d made his decision to talk to Ben. The mess he’d made of his personal life was old news and he’d be damned if he spent what little remaining time he had left with her trawling through his issues.
He might not be the man for her long term, but he could show her how rare and precious she was, and what she did to him and, hopefully, when they parted, she would feel her own worth and have nothing to regret.
She nodded, her breathtaking face lifted to his as he dragged her close with one arm banded around her waist and slanted his mouth over hers. Her soft lips parted under his with a sigh. As always, she embraced what they shared, never once pressing him for labels, or more than he could offer.
Did anyone deserve a woman as amazing as Essie?
Ash bunched the hem of her shirt in his fists and lifted it over her head, breaking from their kiss for the split second it took to dispense with the garment and slide his stare over her magnificent nakedness. He scooped his arms around her waist, hoisting her from her feet and stumbling backwards towards the bed so she sprawled over him, covering him from chest to thigh in a tumble of naked limbs and a cloud of Essie-scented hair.
Ash filled his lungs and his hands with her, memorising every nuance of this unique woman. With every passing beat, her kisses grew more desperate, the breathy moans in her throat more frantic and her fingers more insistent. And her ardour matched his.
Ash rolled them so she lay under him, her writhing body urging him on. She tugged at his shirt and he helped her, yanking it up from behind his head and tossing it aside.
Skin to warm skin.
Ash gripped one of her thighs, pushing her open to slot his hips in between. He captured one pink-tipped nipple, laving and lapping until she bucked in his arms and tugged at his hair, the wild, demanding side of her never far from the surface. His kisses followed the bumps of her ribs, the dip of her navel and the hollows beneath her hip bones.
He slid to the floor, tugging her ass to the edge of the bed until he was satisfied with her position. He spread her open, his gaze devouring every perfect pink inch of her.
Just one more taste.
He pressed a kiss to each thigh and then he leaned in to touch the tip of his tongue to her clit.
She sucked in a gasp, her hands fisting the bedspread. ‘Ash...’
He pulled back, a rock the size of the Isle of Wight lodged in his chest. ‘Say it again. Say my name.’ Some base part of him needed to hear her call out for him, to know that he wasn’t alone with his unrest. To know that she saw him and only him.
She nodded and he dived once more for the slick haven between her thighs. ‘Ash...’ She resumed her chant, his name over and over again, while he licked and flicked and suckled.
Every time she spoke his name, his fingers clung to her thighs with a fraction more force, as if he wanted to stamp his presence all over her from head to toe, leaving no doubt. He pushed the crazy idea aside, focussing on the catches in her throat as he forced her higher and higher.
She wasn’t his.
‘Yes...Ash...I’m close.’ Her thighs juddered against his face and he ceased his efforts. He wanted to be inside her when she came, her muscles gripping him like a fist as she wailed his name for the last time.
She
