could she possibly say to make him understand why she hadn’t told him he had a child?
She wouldn’t lie. A lie is what had gotten her into this whole mess. Well, not exactly a lie so much as withholding the truth. Not telling James about Will before now had been a doozy of a mistake. It certainly wasn’t the first one she’d ever made, but most definitely the biggest, second only to falling in love with Dr. James Scott. Her best friend.
Kelly’s head pounded as Will wriggled, wanting down. A wave of dizziness washed over her, forcing her to lean against the dented front fender of her truck. She tightened her hold on her child and tried to rein in her escalating fear that something was terribly wrong with her. Something that might take her from her son.
She pushed off from the faded-blue pickup and crossed the thick carpet of grass, lush and green from Texas’s spring rains. If she didn’t keep moving, she’d fall asleep on her feet. And she had to talk to James before that happened.
It was now or never.
Kelly sucked in a deep breath and squared her shoulders. As she pushed open the office door, she vowed her sweet baby’s future would include his father.
As she took one step inside the veterinary clinic, her gaze settled on James standing across the room, head down, making an entry in a file. Memories of their one night together rushed at her, followed by the pain of all the lonely nights that had come after. Tears of what might have been stung her eyes, but she blinked them away, determined to see this through for her baby’s sake.
James wore faded jeans, scarred boots and spurs, an indication he was probably on his way to the rodeo. The trophy buckle he’d won three years ago glistened against the denim shirt that covered his washboard abdomen, a sure sign he intended to do a little honky-tonking after his ride.
Even after all this time she still hated that buckle. It served as a neon light, flaunting his need to compete, his need to take foolish risks and avoid commitment. It also served as a reminder of why she’d had to leave, when in his arms was the only place she’d ever wanted to be.
She tried not to stare at James, but found herself looking at where his jeans met his boots. Then her gaze traveled up the muscled length of his long legs. Everything about the man—his confident stance and his angular jaw—screamed Bad Boy.
He hadn’t changed.
And neither had the way he set her heart to pounding.
Kelly met his dark gaze. His face mirrored his surprise. For a long moment he said nothing but watched her with eyes the color of warm whiskey kissed by the Texas sun, eyes that touched her as thoroughly as his hands once had. He appraised her in a leisurely manner, eliciting unguarded feelings she’d given in to once, feelings she knew she shouldn’t acknowledge. But it had been so long since she’d last seen him, and she had missed him so.
What a fool she’d been to think she could waltz in here and see James again and be okay. Well, she wasn’t okay. And she didn’t know if she ever would be.
“Well, I’ll be damned.” He dropped the folder and pen on a nearby desk and sauntered toward her, his lips turning up in a devilishly sexy smile, the same smile that had captured her heart. “It’s about time you showed up again.”
She wondered if James would still be smiling once he learned why she’d returned and if he would give her a chance to explain.
As though reading her mind, he bent to glance at Will. “Hey, buddy. How are you doing?”
Their son hunched one shoulder and buried his face in the curve of Kelly’s neck.
She gave Will a reassuring squeeze. “He’s a little shy.”
James straightened and sent her a questioning look. “Who’s this little fella?”
The sound of the air conditioner, the faint country music, served as a backdrop to his sudden silence while he stood waiting, watching, thinking only God knew what. She struggled to contain her anxiety.
“Kelly?” He tilted her chin with his forefinger and looked into her eyes.
She didn’t want to tell him, didn’t want to see the anger on his face. But most of all, she couldn’t bear the thought of hurting him any more than she already had.
Reminding herself why she’d returned, she forced back her apprehension. “This is Will, someone I want you to know. H-he’s my son.”
Something like disappointment clouded James’s eyes. “So you’re married?”
“No. Will’s two years old. He was born the fifth of May, two years ago.”
She watched him digest that, could see the wheels turning in his head as he mentally did the math. And she waited.
Fear made her tremble. Fear of what he would say, of the effect on her son. Had she made a wrong decision over two years ago? No, not about leaving. She’d had no choice. But she should have told James about Will a long time ago. He’d had a right to know.
Kelly locked her knees against the weariness that threatened to buckle her legs. She prayed James wouldn’t blame their child for what she had done. She prayed that he would grow to love Will. And she prayed he never discovered that, even after everything that had happened between them, after what she’d done, her feelings for him had never changed.
James’s smile faded. His eyes narrowed in question, shifting from her to Will, then back. “Are you telling me—”
“Will is your child.”
His child.
James Scott stood frozen. He had to remind himself to breathe. His head buzzed as if he’d taken a hard fall off the back of a bronc. The country music playing on the radio behind him faded into the background as her words hung in the air between them.
If he’d seen even a hint of a smile, he would suspect this to be one of the pranks they’d always played on each other, but the fear and exhaustion in Kelly’s eyes told him otherwise.
Her betrayal twisted his gut into a tight knot. “Why, Kelly? What made you think you had the right to keep this from me?”
She flinched. “I didn’t think—”
“You’ve got that right. You didn’t think or you would have known how I’d feel, what I’d say.”
“If you’ll just give me a chance to explain—”
“Why should I? You didn’t give me a chance,” he said, not allowing her the opportunity to defend her actions. He managed to keep his voice low enough not to frighten the boy. “And why are you telling me now?”
Her face was as pale as the white T-shirt she wore over a pair of blue jeans. She swayed, and he caught her elbow.
He muttered a curse. “You okay, Kel?” he asked, surprised at how calm his voice sounded when anger still pounded in his ears.
“I’m a little tired is all.” She stepped away from his touch, then looked from him to the child in her arms. “This is William James. He goes by Will.” Her eyes turned soft and warm as they lingered on the boy.
He
