nothing more than a glance—and that glance had her remembering the rumpled bed they had fallen into the third time they’d made love.
As if reading her mind, James’s heated gaze started at her feet and worked its way up, lingering here and there, making her pulse race and her temperature rise. His brown eyes darkened as they had that night—the night she had tried so hard to forget. But the memory of his unhurried touches and lingering kisses was forever seared in her mind.
Kelly stiffened. She didn’t want to recall the gentleness of his callused hands, the way she’d responded to his touch, or the way his mouth had ignited flames that had consumed her.
No. She absolutely refused to think of that night again, but how could she forget when James kept looking at her like that?
“I—I’m sorry I couldn’t stay awake,” she said. “Thanks for watching Will.”
James shrugged and pushed to his feet, his seductive eyes never leaving her. “After I shower, we’ll head into town for some breakfast. I’ve had all night to think about us and what happened—”
“There is no us, James. There never was,” she said, the lie bitter on her tongue. “It was just sex between consenting adults, that’s all. And only the one night.” Kelly was sickened by her deceit and tried to walk past him, but he blocked her path, his nearness making her heart pound. “If you’ll excuse me, I need to get Matilda out of the trailer and feed her.”
He touched her arm, then let his fingers trail down to her wrist, sending shock waves through her body. “We put her in the barn last night with my horses and went out earlier to feed the old nag. The boy seemed to get a kick out of that.”
“Thanks,” she said, cursing the wobble in her voice.
James watched her, his eyes clouding over like a summer storm. “I want answers, Kel. I don’t think you can convince me that what you did was right, but I’m willing to listen…after I shower.” James caught the front tails of his shirt and yanked. The snaps popped open, and as if drawn by a homing device, her gaze became riveted to his tanned chest and the dusting of dark hair.
“I’ll hurry,” he said as he strode past her and down the hall, his faded jeans caressing his backside with every fluid shift of his slender hips.
Her thoughts shattered. Kelly pulled a chair away from the table with a shaking hand and lowered herself, careful not to wake Will who had fallen asleep in her arms. She had convinced herself she would be immune to James’s blatant sexuality. Grabbing an envelope off the table to use as a fan, Kelly admitted she might have been wrong. Even though there were subtle differences in him, she had done the right thing by leaving. James was still too gorgeous for his own good. He oozed more sex appeal than should be legal. Still, he was Will’s father.
She cringed, knowing she shouldn’t blame everything on James. He couldn’t help how he looked or the way females threw themselves at him. She had watched him trying to put them off without hurting their feelings; he really was a good man. And living with James would be a sight better than having Will grow up in foster care with nothing but rejection and loneliness as his companions—if something happened to her.
She knew all about loneliness. It had sent her into James’s arms even though she’d seen him shy away from commitment with other women. After he’d made love to her, she had refused to cling to him the way some had tried. Unwilling to watch him withdraw emotionally from her, she had decided that for once in her life she wouldn’t be the one left behind and hurting. So, she’d done the only thing she could do—she’d left.
Kelly shifted Will on her lap and breathed in James’s scent that lingered on her son. Their son.
Odd she should be here now, seeking the aid of the fun-loving man she’d tried so hard to forget, but he was Will’s father. And she had no one else to turn to. Over her lifetime she’d made a lot of rules that she observed diligently. Coming back, speaking to James, meant breaking rules sixteen and seventeen, but there had been no other way. She couldn’t bear the thought of Will ending up alone. She wanted him to know James’s love.
Even if she never would.
Chapter Two
“Why didn’t you tell me?” James asked, leaning back in the cafe’ booth, the toes of his boots bumping against the other side. “I think I deserved to know.”
The hurt and anger raging inside him was directed at himself as much as Kelly. Not long after she’d left, he had tried to find her. He’d known nothing about her family. Maybe if he’d bothered to ask more questions about her past he might have found her. Maybe if he’d hired a private investigator after his own attempts had failed he would have known about his son.
“I know I made some mistakes and in the process hurt you and Will,” Kelly said, sounding defeated. “I can only say I struggled with my decision. I’m sorry, James, I never intended—”
“Sorry? Sorry is for forgetting to ask if I want onions on my hamburger. Sorry is for leaving the gate open and letting the mare out. But sorry doesn’t cut it with something as life changing as forgetting to tell me I have a son.”
She flinched as she finished pouring syrup over the child’s pancakes before placing the saucer on the high-chair tray. “You have every right to be angry with me.”
“You’re damned right I do.”
“No matter what you think, I really did struggle with whether or not to tell you.”
“For two years, Kel?”
“I wasn’t sure you would want to know.”
“What the hell does that mean?”
“Please don’t raise your voice. It upsets Will.”
When several customers looked their way, he focused on his clenched hands and counted to five. He noticed the child’s mouth quivered as if he might cry, but a comforting word from Kelly calmed him.
She met James’s gaze, lifting her coffee mug, clutching it until her knuckles turned white. “Not long after I returned to school, I began feeling awful. I got up sick and went to bed sick. I had to drop three classes to pull a decent grade in the others.”
“If you’d told me—”
“Please let me finish. I’m being honest with you and would like the same from you. If you had known, would you have come for me? Would you have married me and settled down?” she asked, her eyes filled with a deep sadness that tore at his insides. “And if you had done those things, would it have been because you wanted to or because you had to? And afterward would you have blamed me for ruining your life?”
He dragged a hand through his hair, not at all pleased with the conclusions she’d drawn, then and now. Maybe the only conclusions she could’ve drawn, considering his history with women. “Since you didn’t bother to tell me you were pregnant with my child, you know I don’t know what I would have done. But for that matter, neither do you.”
Kelly met his gaze. “James, you are a wonderful friend. My best friend…at least you used to be. In spite of what you might believe, I thought about this a long time before making up my mind. I didn’t think you would offer marriage, so I focused on Will.”
“Tell
