the road. He thought about all the things she’d said today and found he didn’t much like what he’d heard or the way he saw himself through her eyes.
It had been a long time since James had felt this out of sorts. He shouldn’t care about Kelly’s plans for his son’s future or that they didn’t seem to include him; he hadn’t even known about the boy until twenty-one hours ago. The fact that he worried about her at all irritated him almost as much as his inexplicable need to be with his son…and Kelly.
He headed toward his truck, cursing the vision of her that suddenly filled his head. Maybe several beers would help him forget how good she looked and her enticing scent. He doubted it would.
He needed to forget that while struggling to bring his child into this world, Kelly had found suffering alone preferable to leaning on him.
Kelly locked the motel door and slid the chain in place. She didn’t like the room or the location of the motel, but after stopping at five others that were full because of the rodeo in town that weekend, she would have to make do. Her only other option was to stay with James. She didn’t know if she could do that without slipping up and letting him see how much she still cared.
“Here, sweetheart, let me get your horse.” She pulled the stuffed horse from the diaper bag and gave it to Will, who settled on the floor with his favorite toy.
The room echoed with loneliness after the time she’d spent with James. Funny, she’d lived alone until Will’s birth, then it had been just the two of them. After only one day with James, she realized how much she’d missed adult conversation—almost as much as she’d missed him. Sure, she’d been around other students, but they were always listening to lectures. After class, she’d rushed to her job. And then there’d been Will.
Kelly’s thoughts drifted back to James. She had wanted to stay with him, but no telling what she would have done if she had. That’s why she’d created rule fifteen, to prevent that from happening. Though, actually, he had surprised her. He hadn’t done any of the things she’d expected when he’d learned he had a son. With only minimal ranting and raving, he’d taken her home with him, and even after she’d made a mess of explaining things by blurting out her feelings, he’d offered them a room.
She wasn’t sure the cowboy she’d once known would have sat still while she questioned his character. And if he had, he certainly wouldn’t have asked her to stay.
And now, thinking back on all she’d said, Kelly couldn’t remember when she’d wanted anything more than to be with James. Her reasons for leaving had everything to do with the way James had made her feel, just as it had before she’d left town three years ago.
Seeing him again had been a shock. The hurt she’d glimpsed when he’d thought she was married had almost been her undoing. But she’d prepared herself, knowing being around him again after all this time would be difficult. She’d formulated several new rules especially for the occasion. Still, it had taken all her strength to keep from walking into his arms, the only place she wanted to be.
Maybe she should call him. After all, he had asked how he could locate her. What could it hurt? She could smooth things over, make sure he hadn’t taken offense to her refusal to stay with him. If he got angry, he might change his mind about getting to know Will, and that’s why she’d put them both through the hell of telling him he had a son.
Kelly sat on the edge of the bed and punched in James’s home phone number. She knew it by heart, having dialed it hundreds of times in the past. Kelly clutched the phone so tightly her hand ached. After the sixth ring she replaced the receiver on the cradle as she had so many times before.
She stood and paced the room, so tired she wanted nothing more than to go to bed. What if he had gotten upset? What if he’d had an accident? What if he had gone out with another woman? Kelly patted Will’s head as she hurried back to the phone, her pulse racing as she dialed James’s cell phone number.
He answered on the fourth ring. “It’s your nickel.”
The twang of country music drifted through the phone line, all but drowning out his voice.
She started to hang up, thinking that he might actually be with someone else. One glance at Will made her change her mind. “James?”
“Kelly?”
She imagined him seated in some honky-tonk with a voluptuous blonde on each knee. “I—I wanted to let you know where I’m staying, in case you need me.”
“Just a sec.” The crackle of paper sounded. “Okay, shoot.”
“I’m at the Country Inn.”
“What room?”
Kelly paused, trying to decide whether to tell him. What could it hurt? If an emergency arose, he would need to know how to contact her. Besides, she’d missed him and their friendship and hoped they could regain the easy camaraderie they’d always shared, though secretly she would always want more. If his friendship was all she could have, then that was better than nothing. Nothing is what she’d had the past three years. She’d missed him more than she’d believed possible. There were worse things than being just his friend.
“Kelly, are you still there?”
“Yeah. It’s room twenty-two.”
“Have you had supper?” he asked, his voice a seductive rumble that sent a shiver of awareness through her.
“No, I thought once we got settled maybe we’d get something.”
“Would you let me take you and Will out to eat?”
Her pulse sped up. She wanted to say yes, but feared it would be a repeat of their earlier conversation. “I’m really tired, and tomorrow will be another full day of looking for a place to live.”
“What if I grab some burgers and swing by?”
Kelly knew she should refuse, but she really was more exhausted than she’d thought. “I’d like that, James. But could you bring a grilled cheese sandwich for Will?”
He didn’t respond for a moment, and if it hadn’t been for the music blaring over the phone line, she would have thought they’d lost their connection. Finally he said, “Great. I’ll be there in fifteen minutes.”
“All right,” she said, the words coming out thick, sounding like someone else. The connection went dead then, and Kelly listened to the buzz for a minute before returning the phone to its cradle.
Inviting James to her room had been foolhardy. She knew better. The knowledge that he would be there shortly sent an adrenaline rush through her. But she had a responsibility to her son. She’d made a promise to him and to herself, a promise she intended to keep. She wasn’t about to let an excess of hormones and one sexy cowboy get in the way of her child’s future.
When James arrived, she would take the food, thank him for his trouble and ignore him while he visited with Will. She had fallen for James’s good looks once. No, that wasn’t necessarily true. It had been so much more than just his looks, and she reminded herself of why she’d come back.
Kelly had only invited James over because she was too tired to go and get Will’s dinner. Anyone could make a mistake…once. From now on, she would stay focused on her goal. She would not fail. Her son’s future depended
