leadership resonates as much in the US as it does in Europe, Latin America, and Asia. It applies equally to people in all fields: technology, health care, financial services, retail, academics, and philanthropy. For people at every level—from the CEO to people starting out in their careers and those who are still in school—being a values-based leader in a values-based organization will enhance their lives.
There are challenges. In fact, with every talk I give, people tell me, “This sounds great, Harry, but I'm not sure how I can get all this done. I have so many things going on. How can I do this?”
My answer is this latest book: Your 168: Finding Purpose and Satisfaction in a Values-Based Life.
This book is divided into two parts. The first is “Defining Balance.” This part begins with the foundation of every values-based leadership discussion: self-reflection. When people tell me that they are having trouble balancing their lives, it's usually because they aren't being self-reflective enough to determine what they are trying to balance. You can only gain clarity on personal and professional issues in your life by thinking more deeply about them. The more self-reflective you are, the easier it is to make choices that are aligned with your values.
Over time, as you become more self-reflective, there are fewer reasons for you to be surprised, which is the next topic of discussion. When people have no idea where and how they spend their time, they're often surprised—and not in a good way. They're suddenly surprised when a relationship fails, friendships end, or loved ones die, leaving them with regret over the time they didn't spend together. At the same time, I know many people who have made meaningful changes in the quality of their lives simply by becoming more aware and eliminating those surprises.
When surprises go unheeded, they don't just fade away. Without the self-awareness that comes from self-reflection, a relatively minor surprise or small problem compounds into a major upset—and you hit the brick wall. Now you've got a full-blown crisis on your hands. As I've seen among people I know, including those who have shared their life journeys with me, these crises often spill over into numerous areas: a major relationship is in turmoil, someone's health suffers, a job is in jeopardy. When you hit a brick wall, it can cause wreckage everywhere in your life.
Next, we'll talk about building new habits, which takes both awareness and time. Research tells us that it takes three months on average to build muscle memory (such as engaging in a new exercise routine) and even longer to adopt new health habits or ways of thinking and acting.
The discussion then moves to becoming more planful and constantly reprioritizing. Life doesn't stand still. Priorities and demands change. The only thing that remains constant is 168! Reprioritizing requires you to consider how demands on your time are changing and whether these new demands fit your values. The reward for being more planful is increased flexibility and greater spontaneity. All that discipline in planning and reprioritizing pays off when suddenly there's a surprise opportunity—like two tickets to see your favorite musician in concert—and you can make the time for fun.
The second part is “The Balancing Action Plan.” In this part, we move from what defines a balanced life to putting an action plan in place to create greater balance. We explore six life buckets and how people at all phases and stages devote time and energy to each of these buckets:
Work and career (with the pursuit of balance in real time). For most of us, work is very important and must get done. However, today more than ever, it's possible to use technology and flexible arrangements to make working part of your life. In this chapter, we'll also discuss how to tackle two buckets at once—not as a rule, but strategically. This is all about investing your 168 in ways that work for you.
Family, friends, and community. Our lives are enriched by the people who matter most to us. For many, this means family and friends, but it can also include support groups and community organizations. By choosing whom we spend time with, when, and for how long, we can build meaningful and supportive communities for ourselves.
Health. One of the most common desires I hear is to “be healthier”—and one of the common complaints is “I don't have time for it.” But we know that health directly affects quality of life, which means health goals for most people are a priority in their 168.
Fun. Life needs fun. Too often, though, fun seems like the last priority for people, and without planning for fun, it can get overlooked.
Faith and spirituality. For many people, having a life bucket for faith and spirituality is critically important. It reinforces self-reflection and embraces one's purpose at a deeper level.
Making a difference. Many of us want to make a positive impact—big or small. For some, it's in the local community; for others, it's global. In your own way, you can allocate your 168 in a way that creates a legacy.
No one's life is in balance all the time. We are all works in progress, constantly refining ourselves through self-reflection and becoming more self-aware. As we become more aware of our values and of how we spend our time, however, we move closer to the goal of leading a values-based life.
We're each given 168 hours a week. It's up to us to spend them in a way that matters most.
CHAPTER 1 BECOMING SELF-AWARE
To live a values-based life, you need to know what your values are. Then, you make a sincere and ongoing effort to live your life so that what you do and how you act reflect those values. Sounds pretty straightforward, doesn't it? But notice I said, “sincere and ongoing effort.” The reality is no matter how dedicated you are to living a values-based life, you're always a work in progress. Nobody gets it right all the time. In my more than 40 years of pursuing a values-based life, I'm constantly recalibrating how to allocate my 168 hours each week to reflect my values and what I believe is most important in my life. That's the only way I know of to pursue life balance.
Life balance, as I explained in the introduction, doesn't mean work-life balance—a concept that always confused me because it seems to indicate a choice between working and living. Our lives are multifaceted. Many of us devote a great deal of time to work—let's hope, doing work we find meaningful and satisfying. But there is more to our lives than work. We have other priorities that might include family, friends, and/or others within our community. We have leisure activities that bring enjoyment and enrich our lives. We want to be healthy and pursue some kind of exercise. Spirituality may be important, and maybe we want to make a positive impact in the community or even globally.
Don't mistake life balance for time management. The primary goal here is not to become incredibly efficient with your time, although that might be one of the benefits of engaging in this process. The primary goal is life balance. It comes down to the life buckets I discussed in the introduction, the specific areas into which we allocate our time, attention, and effort. By focusing on our chosen life buckets, we can pursue life balance—with the caveat that we won't be in balance all the time. Rather, we'll be constantly recalibrating and rebalancing.
The only way to pursue life balance is by becoming self-aware through self-reflection. Your commitment to living your life aligned with your values won't always be easy. Countless demands, distractions, and unexpected challenges will get in the way. But the payoff for engaging in the pursuit of life balance is to have more joy, satisfaction, purpose, and meaning, with a lot less worry, fear, anxiety, pressure, and stress.
THE REALITY CHECK
Whenever I talk about life balance, most people are very intrigued. They ask whether
