them. The Bug-destroyer munched{2} a candle and sluiced{3} his greasy chops{4} with Jacky{5} almost as fast as they could supply him with it, when Sparkle perceiving the boy was still at the door with the runaway ass,
“Come,” said he, “we'll start 'em off home in high style—here, you Mr. Bugman, can you ride?”
“Ride, aye to be sure I can, any of Mr. Astley's horses as well as the Champion of England,"{6} was the reply.
1 Old Tom—It is customary in public-houses and gin-shops
in London and its vicinity to exhibit a cask inscribed with
large letters—OLD TOM, intended to indicate the best gin in
the house.
2 Munched—Eat.
3 Sluiced—Washed. See Sluicery.
4 Chops—The mouth.
5 Jacky—A vulgar term for gin.
6 Any person would almost suspect that Hookey had been
reading the newspapers by this allusion; but that certainly
could not be the case, for, spurning all education in early
life, this representative of the immortal bard—this
character of characters from Shakespeare, could neither read
nor write, but made all he acted, as he said, from his own
head: however, it may fairly be presumed, that in the course
of his travels during the day he had heard something of the
Champion intended to appear at the approaching Coronation,
of whom the following account has recently been circulated
through the daily press, and, with his usual consistency,
conceived his own innate abilities equal to those which
might be acquired by Mr. Dymocke, though his claims were not
equally honourable or advantageous.
Mr. Dymocke, the nephew of the gentleman (who is a
Clergyman) entitled by hereditary right to do the service of
the Champion to his Majesty, is still in hopes he may be
permitted to act under his Uncle's nomination, although he
wants a few months of being of age. A petition is before the
King on the subject; and Mr. Dymocke, by constant practice
at Astley's Hiding-school, is endeavouring to qualify
himself for the due fulfilment of the office. On Thursday
lie went through his exercise in a heavy suit of armour with
great celerity. The horse which will be rode by the Champion
has been selected from Mr. Astley's troop. It is a fine
animal, pieballed black and white, and is regularly
exercised in the part he will have to perform.
“Walk in—walk in, Ladies and Gentlemen, just going to begin—come, Mr. Merryman, all ready—Ladies and Gentlemen, please to observe, this here horse is not that there horse.”
“So we laugh at John Bull a little.”
"Come, then,” continued Sparkle, “another glass—half-a-crown to ride to the bottom of the lane and up Holboru-hill on that donkey at the door, and you shall be our Champion.”
“A bargain—a bargain,” said the assumed Hookey Walker, rubbing the tallow from his gills.{1}
“Here goes then,” said Sparkle; then slipping half-a-crown into the boy's hand, desiring him to run as far as the Traveller-office, in Fleet-street, and get him a newspaper, promising to take care of his ass till his return. The lad nibbled the bait, and was off in a pig's whisper{2} Sparkle called to Tom and Bob, and putting them up to his scheme, Hookey was quickly mounted, while Dashall and his Cousin, assisted by the Hibernian and Dust-ho, succeeded in getting Mother Mapps out, who was placed in the front of the Champion, astride, with her face towards him and Limping Billy, who though beat to a stand still,{3} was after some difficulty lifted up behind. Hookey was then supplied with his board, the pole of which he placed on his foot, in the manner of a spear or lance. Then giving the Irishman and the Dustman some silver, to act as Supporters or Esquires, one on each side, they proceeded along Shoe-lane, preceded by Billy Waters flourishing his wooden-leg and feathers, and fiddling as he went—the Irishman roaring out with Stentorian lungs,
“Sure won't you hear
What roaring cheer
Was spread at Paddy's wedding O,
And how so gay
They spent the day,
From the churching to the bedding O.
First book in hand came Father Quipes,
With the Bride's dadda, the Bailey O,
While all the way to church the pipes
Struck up a jilt so gaily O.
“Kim ap—be after sitting fast in the front there, old Mapps, or you'll make a mud-lark of yourself.” The Dustman rang his bell; and thus accompanied with an immense assemblage of boys, girls, men, women, and
1 Gills—The mouth.
2 Pig's Whisper—A very common term for speed.
3 Beat to a dead stand still—Means completely unable to
assist himself.
children, collected from all the courts and alleys in the neighbourhood, joining in a chorus of shouts that rent the air, poor Balaam continued to bear his load; while our party, after watching them till nearly out of sight, passed down Harp-alley into Fleet-market,” and turning to the right, very soon regained Fleet-Street, laughing heartily at the bull's cookery of mackarel buttered with brick-dust, and very well satisfied with their spree.
Engaged in conversation upon this adventure, they found nothing of interest' or amusement to attract their notice till they arrived at the warehouse of the London Genuine Tea Company, except merely remarking the grand appearance of St. Paul's, from that situation.
“Genuine tea” said Bob; “what can that mean—Is tea any thing but tea?”
“To be sure it is,” said Sparkle, “or has been—anything but tea,"{l} strongly marking the latter part of the
1 Tea and Coffee—The adulteration of articles of human food
is a practice of the most nefarious description, and cannot
be
