Brains Confounded by the Ode of Abū Shādūf Expounded. Yūsuf al-Shirbīnī
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11.4.8(مسألة هباليّة) ما الحكمة في تسمية البيض بالخصيتين وما مشابهة الخصيّ لهما في الاسم وما اشتقاقهما وما معنى ذلك (الجواب الفشرويّ) وهو أنّ الخصيتين واحدتهما خِصْية بكسر الياء المعجمة وكذلك مثنّى الخِصا خِصْوَان واحدهما خِصي فإذا أخذت الخصي مثلًا وأضفت إليه آخر صرت آخذًا خِصْوَيْن بلا خلاف فافهم ذلك وقد يقال له خِصْو بالواو بدل الألف وهو اسم للذكر وهو في حكم الأب للخصيتين لأنّه لا يفارقهما وهما في حكم البنتين له فاشْتُقّ من اسم الفرع لعدم انفكاكه عنه ولهذا أنّ الخصيتين دائمًا في مقام الخضوع للذكر وهو في مقام الرفعة عليهما وهما في مقام التدلّي وهو في مقام الترقّي وهما أيضًا في مقام الإضافة وهو في مقام الرفع والنصب وأيضًا له قوّة في فتح الأبواب المغلقة وهجم الحصون وقرع القُبَب المسطَّحة وهما واقفان له على الباب تأدّبًا معه وهذا من علامة البرّ بالوالد (كما اتّفق) أنّ بعض الشعراء قصد ملكًا يستمطر إحسانه فرآه في البستان فوقف على الباب وأراد الدخول فمنعه الحارس فنظر خلف حائط البستان فرأى جَدْوَل ماء يجري وينتهي إلى محلّ تحت الحائط ينصبّ في فِسْقية كبيرة ورأى الملك جالس عليها فأخذ ورقة وكتب فيها هذا البيت [بسيط]
النّاسُ كُلُّهُمُ كَالأَيْرِ قَدْ دَخَلوا | وَالعَبْدُ مِثلُ الخِصا مُلْقىً١ على البابِ |
ثمّ طواها ووضعها في قصبة فارسيّة وسدّ عليها بشمع وألقاها في الجدول فأخذه الماء حتّى ألقاها بين يدي الملك فتناولها وفكّ ختامها وأخرج الورقة فلمّا قرأ البيت تبسّم وناداه ادخل يا خصا فقال الشاعر هذا منك عن وسع عظيم أطال الله بقاك فانسرّ الملك لمصادفة هذه النكتة وأنعم عليه وارتدّ شاكرًا
١ بي: (في جميع النسخ) واقف.
A Silly Topic for Discussion: What is the wisdom in bayḍ (“balls”) also being called khiṣyatān (“testicles (dual)”),191 and what points of resemblance are there between the two in name, and what is their etymology and what does it mean? The Facetious Answer is that the singular of khiṣyatān is khiṣyah with i after the kh; and likewise the dual of khiṣā (“testicles (plural)”) is khiṣwān, and one of them is a khiṣy/khaṣī,192 and if you were to take one khaṣiy, for example, and add another, you would have taken a pair of balls (khiṣwayn), no doubt about it! Understand this well! The same thing may also be called khiṣw, with w instead of a, which is also a word for the penis,193 for the latter is like a father to the two testicles, because it never leaves them, and they are as two daughters to it; thus its name is derived from that of the subordinate entity because it is never separated from the latter. From this it follows that the two testicles are in a position of permanent submission to the male organ, while the latter is in a position of high standing over them and they likewise are in a position of dependence while it is in a position of upward mobility; and, additionally, they are in the position of annexation, while it is in the position of the elevated and erected vowels.194 Further, the male organ has the power to open locked doors, assault fortresses, and knock at smooth domes, while the testicles politely wait for him at the entrance, which is a sign of the filial piety due to a father. In illustration of which, it once came about that a certain poet sought out a king in order to plead for his charity and found him to be in his garden. The poet stood by the gate and tried to gain entrance, but the guard prevented him. The poet then looked behind the wall of the garden and found a water channel running towards, and ending at a point beneath, the wall, where it debouched into a large basin, next to which he beheld the king sitting. So he took a piece of paper and wrote on it this verse:195
Everyone else, like a penis, has gone in,
But this slave, like the testes, is left lying at the door.
Then he folded it and put it in a Persian reed, sealed it with wax, and threw it into the channel, whence the water carried it until it cast it at the feet of the king. The king picked it up, broke the seal, and pulled out the piece of paper. When he read the verse he smiled and called out to him, “Come in, testicles!” to which the poet replied, “This is just evidence of your great capacity, God preserve you!”196 The king was well pleased with the aptness of the joke and rewarded him, and the poet retired, giving thanks.
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11.4.9(قلت) وبذكر مصادفة هذه الألفاظ ذكرت ما اتّفق أنّ السلطان قانصوه الغوريّ رحمه الله غضب على إنسان وأراد قتله فشفع فيه بعض الحاضرين وعمل عليه ثلاثة آلاف دينار ونزل من عند الملك ليأتي بهم فلقيه رجل من أصدقائه وهو على سُلَّم الديوان فقال له بلغني أنّ الملك عمل عليك ألف دينار فقال لا عليّ الطلاق ثلاثة قال فلمّا سمع الملك وقوع هذه الكلمة منه واستخدامها في معنى الطلاق والدراهم عفا عنه وسامحه من الثلاثة آلاف دينار وأنعم عليه ومضى إلى حال سبيله
Apropos of the aptness of these words, I am reminded of what happened once when Sultan Qānṣawh al-Ghawrī, God have mercy upon him, got angry with a man and wanted to kill him. Some of those present interceded on his behalf, and the sultan imposed on him instead a fine of three thousand dinars. The man left the sultan’s presence to get them and one of his friends, encountering him as he was descending the steps from the audience chamber, said to him, “I hear that the sultan has fined you a thousand dinars.” The other replied, “No, may