‘May they find Odin’s grace in your bellies!’
Behind the barbecue Rose saw a couple of grips setting up a viewing platform. Presumably once the crowd had been lured in by the smell of fresh meat, they’d be herded onto the platform to become the audience for the sinking. Her gaze moved past them to take in the boats bobbing gently at their moorings; they all looked pretty much the same to her, though a couple of them were definitely dodgy when she’d seen them up close. If there’d been any gossip about who’d be going home today, it hadn’t reached her ears.
She knew that in later weeks there’d be themed challenges to complete – the decking challenge, or the seaworthy challenge. But as this was the first week that the boats were in the water, they were being judged on everything from style to seaworthiness to general maintenance. The boat that was at the bottom of the rankings when it came to those factors today would be the boat that was at the bottom of the harbour by tonight.
If it were up to Rose, she’d say goodbye to Beverley. A middle-aged woman with no evident sailing experience, Beverley was clearly trying her best and she had some good ideas – though maybe not the giant decorative polystyrene starfish lining her boat’s cabin walls. But she also spent half her time chasing around the little dog Rose had patted in the boatshed, which, bizarrely, was her partner on the show. Rose had to admit that Snuggles was very cute, but if Beverley’s boat was coming last, not even a cute dog would save her.
By the fence, Thor let out a wild cry. Rose turned in time to see the gates flung open and the crowd … well, actually, the crowd wandered through in an orderly fashion before lining up for what rapidly become just an average sausage sizzle. If Bernie had needed her for anything serious, he’d have said so by now, Rose reasoned, and walked out onto the dock to get a free sausage herself.
It was glorious barbecue weather: clear, and not too blustery. The crowd was a mix of young families happy to have a reason to get out of the house, and scary hardcore fans of The Dock wearing slogan T-shirts and carrying homemade banners saying things like I GET WET and THOR FLOATS MY BOAT. Rose wasn’t sure how they managed to stuff sausages into their faces while keeping those banners aloft, but the meat was disappearing from the hotplate at an alarming rate. She pushed forward hurriedly to claim one of the last hamburgers.
‘Here you go, fair maiden,’ said Thor, ‘would you like some more mustard with yon burger?’
‘No, I think you’ve already laid it on a bit thick,’ she said.
‘Well, you can just fuck off then,’ Thor said, his accent falling away.
‘No, I meant the mustard, honestly,’ Rose stammered, backing away quickly. Was nothing real in reality TV?
‘Hey, Rose!’ Startled, she turned. Standing towards the back of the queue for the barbecue was Dan, waving at her. Glad to finally see someone she could talk to, she hurried over. ‘You’re still here,’ he said. ‘I thought they’d have let you go an hour ago.’
‘That’s a bit harsh,’ she said.
‘No,’ he laughed, ‘I mean from the afternoon’s work. They only need someone here in case a panel falls off or something. Usually once it gets to three o’clock they tell you to go.’
‘Nobody tells me much of anything around here,’ Rose said. ‘And somebody here told me this sinking was a big event …’
‘Oh yeah, that,’ he said. The queue shuffled forward. ‘It really is a big deal once they get to the last few eliminations later on. The first couple are really just family days and fan events. But you know … free food!’
‘I wouldn’t get too excited,’ Rose said, looking down at her half-eaten burger. ‘I think I know where all the sawdust’s been going.’
‘Free is free,’ Dan said with admirable logic. ‘Plus I only live a few blocks away. And it’s a boat being sunk – you don’t see that every day.’
‘Only once a week if you work here,’ Rose said with a smile. It wasn’t exactly a carnival atmosphere, but the crowd was definitely getting into the swing of things – and out of the corner of her eye she saw a couple of grips wheeling out another fridge, this one with glass doors that showed it was full of cheap imported light beer.
‘Go save us a spot in the line for the beer tickets,’ Dan said urgently. ‘Even though we’re staff we still only get three tickets each, and that Golden Spray wears off fast.’
‘Golden Spray?’ Rose said, barely hiding her disgust.
‘Yeah, they make it especially for Grand Prix winners,’ Dan said.
‘But don’t they use champagne …?’ Rose said, but Dan was at the hotplate, trying to grab as many sausages as he could while Thor was distracted taking selfies with a large, excitable male fan. With a shrug she turned and walked over to the beer fridge, where a queue was already snaking away.
‘Hey guys,’ she said, ‘I work here so …’
‘Oh, you work here,’ said one of the grips. ‘That’s different – two tickets for you.’
‘Only two?’
‘One ticket!’
‘I’m leaving!’
Free drinks were meant to be one of the perks of the job. She’d all but been promised a party with her co-workers, but it was vanishing before her eyes. Standing around on the dock with a bunch of strangers was hardly Rose’s idea of a fun Sunday. She wondered if it was even worth sticking around. If she went home now, perhaps she could head down to the pub later on …
But then the man behind her in the queue slid in to stand beside her. ‘Three tickets for me, and three for the lovely young lady here.’
‘Sure thing, Mr Barker,’ said the previously sassy grip, handing over the tickets. Leary Barker gave three to Rose.
‘Thanks,’ she said.
‘Not a problem,’ he said. ‘Always happy to bump into an attractive young woman. And you look like a woman who’s good with her hands.’ He laughed, holding up his own hands in mock surrender.
‘Yeah, I get that a lot,’ Rose joked.
‘Leary Barker,’ he said. ‘Executive Producer, Endeavour Productions.’
‘Yeah, I know,’ Rose said, her confusion showing. ‘We met on the set of Mansions in the Sky earlier this week. I’m Rose, I’ve just started working here.’
A look of panic bloomed on Leary’s face. ‘I’m not gonna get Me-Too’ed! Not again!’
Rose had definitely heard this before. ‘I’m sorry, what?’
Leary laughed nervously, keeping his hands in the air and beginning to edge away from Rose. ‘I mean, I’m all about we two … not that other thing I said.’ A look of relief came over his face. ‘Yes, I’m sure we two will get along fine, in a totally appropriate way! That’s what I said – we two!’
Rose was still puzzling over what had just happened when there was a crackling sound of feedback from the PA system. ‘Attention! Could everyone please move to the viewing platform. Take your food and drinks with you.
