really sorry to hear that,’ I said. ‘I lost a lot of good friends to the infinite malaise.’
‘You did?’ Caroline asked sadly. ‘How awful.’
‘Yeah… well, no. But I hear it’s absolutely horrible.’
‘Yes, well,’ muttered Caroline, ‘I don’t like to think about that. I just want to see her. And if it really is the end, I want to be with her when it happens.’
‘Entirely understandable,’ I said. ‘Though sadly I wouldn’t hold out much hope for gaining Leigh’s sympathy.’
‘What’s your reason for wanting to get away then?’ Caroline asked. ‘You said yours was life or death too.’
‘Aye, exactly,’ I said. ‘The life and death of the beautiful game.’
‘I’m sorry, the…?’
‘Well, you know General Leigh hates my football team here on Palangonia,’ I said.
‘You mentioned it, yes,’ Caroline said with a barely perceptible eye roll. I let it pass.
‘Now that he’s strangled the team to death, me and Gerry – he’s my assistant – have had to look at other options. Apparently Dave Moyes is on the brink over in… wherever he is, so we wanted to jet out there to throw our hats into the ring for the gig. And now, thanks to bloody Leigh, we’re stuck here. He’s petty and vindictive, he really is.’
‘So that’s… life and death,’ Caroline said in a flat voice.
‘Exactly,’ I nodded vehemently. ‘If you can see where I’m coming from, why can’t Leigh? And Gillian, for that matter.’
‘Gillian Routledge, you mean?’ Caroline asked. ‘From the Compound Council?’
‘You’ve met her then,’ I said.
‘Yes, she’s wonderful – she had the casting vote on extra funding for the library to fill out our reference collection and she really got behind us. She’s been a real champion of the library project.’
‘Oh, of all the nerve!’ I snapped. ‘This is the final straw in the coffin, this really is – she’s systematically undermining me and the club at every turn while at the same time frittering money away on – no offence, Caroline – a load of dusty old books that no bugger will ever read!’
‘Actually, the Compound library has seen significant footfall,’ Caroline said. ‘I think a lot of people see it as one of the few tangible links to our past on Earth.’
‘Football is our most tangible link to our past,’ I countered passionately. ‘It was mankind’s greatest achievement – I’ve always said that.’
‘Well, let’s not get carried away,’ Caroline said. ‘I think there were plenty of other things humanity achieved prior to the invasion that were of greater significance than a silly sports game.’
‘Name one!’ I cried.
‘God, where to start – landing a man on the moon—’
‘A doddle,’ I said. ‘We played a friendly on a moon six months ago.’
‘—the power of flight—’
‘Which ultimately led to players diving all over the place; it poisoned the game. Next.’
‘—eradicating disease—’
‘Bit of deep heat, you’re right as rain.’
‘—organ transplants—’
‘Sell an Andy Cole, get yourself an Al Shearer.’
‘—the list is endless really.’
‘I think all you’ve done here is prove my point,’ I said. I hadn’t felt this fired up since I overheard Mark Viduka saying that Genesis were ‘a bit bland, if I’m honest’. (I transfer-listed him on the spot.)
I stood up.
‘It was nice to meet you, Caroline,’ I said, ‘and I hope you get out to see your daughter.’
‘My sister,’ she said.
‘Her too.’
‘What are you going to do?’ Caroline asked. ‘Find another job outside of football? We might have a vacancy ourselves in a month or two, once the new funding from the Council comes through.’
‘Not a chance,’ I said defiantly. ‘It’s football or nothing for me. If General Leigh thinks he can palm me off with a poxy form like I’m some riff-raff – not you, I mean – then he’s got another thing coming. Oi, you!’
I marched up to the dozy-looking guard. He blinked at me.
‘Get Leigh down here – I want a word!’ I fumed.
‘Fancy seeing you here, Coogan,’ came a powerful voice from the doorway behind me. I – and everyone else in the room – froze.
They didn’t need to bring me to General Leigh after all.
He had come to me.
GENERAL LEIGH
‘We’ve never seen eye to eye, have we?’
It was all I could do to stop myself losing my breakfast. The Compound wall was a heck of a lot higher when you were standing on top of it.
‘No,’ I managed breathlessly. ‘We haven’t.’
Leigh smiled grimly and stared off at the distant horizon towards the long-dormant volcano, Great Strombago, which dominated the landscape. Immediately beyond the Compound on this side there lay a thick growth of forests, eventually giving way to boggy marshland to the east and to the west a tight knot of steamy jungle. Beyond the volcano… well, nobody really knew. Behind me, at the opposite end of the Compound, beyond the woods that bordered us on all sides, there lay an arid yellow desert as far as the eye could see. There were rumours that on clear days you could just about make out a distant grey ocean but as I turned to look in that direction now (carefully, so as not to spew everywhere), I couldn’t see anything beyond the shimmering expanse of sand. I gingerly turned back the way Leigh was facing, still staring down into the darkness of the trees.
‘They’re out there, you know,’ Leigh said quietly – for a moment I thought he may have been talking to himself. Then he looked at me, awaiting some kind of response.
‘Who are?’ I asked, sighing. He was toying with me and we both knew it. ‘The L’zuhl?’
‘No,’ he replied. ‘At least, not yet. Our settlement here is small, that’s
