woman around to ask for advice. After all, no man has to squat in the bush to pee!
Spoil Your Partner
Bring things along that you know will put your partner at ease, even if those items aren’t exactly necessary for camping. Have his or her favorite chocolate bar or cookies as a treat, or a little wine or sherry. If you’re car camping, you can even bring a cooler of beer. Anything that will give an emotional boost to your partner, without being completely inappropriate, would be a good idea to take along.
For Doug, getting his wife out on her first canoe trip involved a lot of coercion. “My wife was very reluctant to camp—she figured it would be a painful experience with nothing but getting wet, dirty, and cold,” he says. “In the middle of the winter, we were visiting with friends, and the discussion turned to doing a canoe weekend together as families. My wife agreed, thinking it would never happen.”
When they actually started planning the trip, she wanted to back out. She tried thinking of creative excuses to tell the other couple why they couldn’t do it. But her husband knew if he could just get her to see the beautiful surroundings, she’d really enjoy herself. It called for extreme measures.
“I talked her into going based on me doing everything: All the packing, portaging, setting up camp, cooking, cleaning the dishes—and she got to bring a lawn chair,” he says. “As it turned out, she fell in love with it. She has insisted on going every summer since.”
A good first impression made all the difference for Doug and his wife. If you’re trying to find ways to convince your partner, think of all the little details that will make the trip more comfortable. Sometimes it’s as simple as an inflatable pillow to make sleeping more comfortable, or a blindfold to keep the sunrise from waking him or her up. For some people, it’s worth packing real cream to put in the morning coffee, or real coffee instead of instant. Try to identify a few of these things that will make the first few times easier for your partner, and make sure you have them handy.
You can also spoil your partner by lavishing extra attention on him or her. Whisper sweet nothings, steal kisses, give a massage, and make it clear that you are willing to do whatever it takes to make this experience a good one.
Time Your Trip
It may seem kind of obvious, but if your partner hates mosquitoes, don’t go on your first trip when it’s mosquito season. If you have pollen allergies, don’t go camping when flowers are pollinating. Planning your first camping experiences to avoid the conditions that would upset you or your partner is the easiest way to make the most of the positive stuff and downplay the negative.
The weatherman should be part of your trip planning, too. If you were hoping to go away for the weekend and the weather forecast says there’s going to be constant rain or a violent storm, it may be worth putting your trip on hold. If your partner’s first experience is really awful, it will be hard to convince him or her to give it another try. Of course, bad weather is eventually going to come up on a camping trip, but if you can avoid the extremes to begin with, things will probably go much more smoothly. Ross Morton, who has worked with Outward Bound for seven years, says the most important thing in introducing a new camper to the wilderness is timing. “I’ve had relationships with people who weren’t outdoorsy,” he says. “If you want to take someone up a mountain, you wait for a beautiful, sunny day to do it.”
Pick Your Spot
Going to the right place can be just as important to the first camping experience as the right timing. Try to find a place that will have gorgeous scenery that is also within your partner’s comfort zone. Don’t plan to climb a huge mountain or shoot Class V rapids on your first trip together. Make it achievable and enjoyable. You can work your way up to Mt. Everest later.
Love = Caffeine
“ My wife is not a morning person at all. Whenever we went camping, she refused to get out of her sleeping bag in the morning, and it would take an hour to get her up. Then she’d be grumpy for the whole time we broke down the campsite. I tried waking her gently, but that didn’t work. I tried to get her excited about what we had planned for the day, but she never seemed to care about that, either. I was at a loss.
One day, I was up a little earlier than usual, so I went outside and made coffee. I poured a cup for her, complete with cream and sugar, and brought it into the tent. I woke her up and handed her the coffee without her having to leave the warmth of her sleeping bag. After that, she was chipper for the rest of the day. So now that’s our morning routine—coffee in bed for my honey. The things we do for love! ”
—BV
If you have been camping for a while, it’s a good idea to take your beginner partner somewhere you’ve already been. That way, you’ll know what to expect, and you can make sure your partner is prepared for what’s coming up next. If you’re considering your first camping trip, be realistic about your abilities. You might want to see some great place your partner has raved about, but if it’s a five-day hike to get there, don’t suggest it for your first trip. Keep your plans in line with your experience.
Involve the Beginner
Even if you are used to doing everything yourself, make sure you get your partner to help you set up the tent, prepare dinner, and make camp comfortable. Nothing makes you feel quite as useless as standing around watching someone else set up the entire campsite while you have no idea what to do with yourself. Start with simple stuff like setting up the sleeping pads and bags inside the tent. My boyfriend has his special way of tying the tent down with ropes, so I make myself useful by gathering rocks for him to use to hold the ropes down if there aren’t enough trees around. (It’s the most useful thing I can do, because heaven knows I’ll never remember how to tie his special knot!)
By handing over a few new tasks every time you camp together, you involve your beginner and, little by little, you will teach him or her how to be a camper. Make sure you explain why things are done the way they are, rather than just bossing your partner around. Feeling useless is bad, but feeling like a slave is worse. Beginners, ask lots of questions if you don’t understand why your partner is doing something a particular way. It could be important for safety–or it could just be a personal preference. The sooner the beginner learns how to do camping tasks, the sooner the experienced one can stop doing them all, and the more time the two of you will get to spend on the fun activities, like christening the tent.
Offer Lots of Encouragement
If you’re not used to it, carrying a backpack or paddling all day is a hell of a lot of work! Keep this in mind and remember to stop and see how your partner is doing now and then, and offer some encouragement. Tell your partner how far you have already gone, and how close you are to your next stop. Keep it positive, and stop for extra hugs and kisses along the way. Your partner wants to feel appreciated, and to know that you’re glad he or she is with you. Don’t take this for granted, but say it out loud and say it often: “I’m so happy that you agreed to try this.” “I’m so glad you’re here with me to see this.” With luck, by the end of the trip, your partner will be saying it right back to you.
Definitely Not the Beginner’s Route
“ We had our hearts set on camping next to this creek, but it was more than 100 feet below us, deep within a canyon that seemed inaccessible. Finally, we found a wash that led into the canyon. Once we climbed down the first 10 feet of the wash, we had to cut our switchback down the steep walls of the canyon to get to the cliff. From there, it was a sheer, 10-foot drop to a sandstone shelf on which we planned to camp. Hiking down the switchback was frightening because the dirt was loose; one wrong step, and I would have fallen over the edge of a 75-foot cliff. I decided to take
