Sex in a Tent. Michelle Waitzman
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Almost everyone who camps thinks that biting bugs are a big pain. Mosquitoes, black flies, deer flies, and other biters can turn a beautiful night in the wilderness into an itchy nightmare. I made the mistake of taking my boyfriend camping in Quebec during the worst part of black fly season. Thousands of them swarmed around us as soon as we got to the campsite. We had to put on our rain gear just to keep the flies from biting through our clothes. My poor boyfriend got massacred while we were putting up the tent. By the time we were done, his entire face was covered in blood. I’m lucky he didn’t dump me right then and there.
There are a few different ways to deal with these bloodsuckers if someone is so bothered by them that he or she refuses to camp. The easiest solution is to avoid camping during the summer months. At other times of the year, most biting bugs are simply not around in large numbers. If you’re willing to trade long days and warm weather for peace of mind, then a bit of creative scheduling is all you need to keep your partner happy.
If you can’t avoid being around biting bugs, then the next best thing is to prevent them from biting. This means creating some kind of physical or chemical barrier to keep them away from you. Pack a good bug repellent to whip out as soon as you see the first mosquito of the day.
If you or your partner are not terribly happy about spraying deet all over your bodies, invest in bug-proof jackets, pants, and hats that are made of tight netting. It might seem like an extreme way to deal with the problem, but if that’s what it takes to make someone feel safe from biting bugs, then it’s worth taking some extra stuff along. On the plus side, if you manage to keep the bugs out of your tent, you can happily strip away your bug-proof clothing once inside.
Driving Me Buggy!
“ I absolutely hate bugs. Can’t stand them! Sitting outside for a barbeque during the summer drove me nuts if there were bugs around. I would get those citronella candles and completely surround myself with them. There was no way I was going camping with no house to run and hide inside. My husband, convinced that I would like it if I could just get over the bug thing, really wanted me to come on a camping trip with him. I told him the only way I would consider it was if he could actually guarantee I wouldn’t get any mosquito bites. I figured that was impossible, so I’d never have to go camping.
My husband thought I was being a bit ridiculous, but he went out and bought me a “Don’t Bug Me” jacket and pants and promised me that they would make me bug-proof. After trying it out in the backyard (and having my husband laugh his head off at me), I agreed to go camping with him. I have to admit that it wasn’t as bad as I expected, and we still go camping at least once every summer. But I never go without my bug jacket! ”
—DB
Getting Lost
I’m the first to admit that I have a terrible sense of direction. Whenever I’m leading a hike, I begin by telling the other hikers, “If you think I’m going the wrong way, speak up. I probably am!” So I’ve learned to use marked trails as much as possible and to stop often and check the map. Even so, I took one woman on a hike in a river valley just outside of Toronto, and we managed to get so caught up in our conversation that we ended up walking in a complete circle before I realized we’d taken a wrong turn. And that was just in the suburbs! So far, I’ve never been so badly lost that I couldn’t make my way back to the right trail. But I do harbor a secret fear that one day I’ll be in the middle of the woods with no idea where I am.
If you aren’t comfortable in the bush, the fear of getting lost and wandering aimlessly until all hope fades can be pretty overwhelming. It’s something that can happen to even the most experienced campers, so you always have to be ready in case it happens to you. A change in conditions, an un-crossable river, or a washed-out trail can send you off course. But there are ways to build up a beginner’s confidence both before and during your trip.
Even if one of you is comfortable making your way through unmarked wilderness or finding a new shortcut, don’t expect your partner to share your enthusiasm for cross-country exploration right away. For at least the first few trips you do together, stick to marked trails or simple canoe or kayak routes so your partner can see that you are staying on the right track. Sometimes all it takes to put someone’s mind at ease is the reassurance of seeing a blaze or a signpost. Show your partner on the map exactly where you are, and do it more often than you think you should—every five or 10 minutes is a good idea if your partner is worried about it.
If you’re extremely nervous about getting lost, even on a marked trail, plan your first trip along a heavily used route. Running into other people on a regular basis will be reassuring and keep you or your partner from thinking that you could be stranded alone in the woods. You’ll have to sacrifice some of the privacy you’d find on less popular trails, but until you’re comfortable, you aren’t likely to enjoy the privacy much anyway. Campers are a friendly bunch, so if you run into people coming from the opposite way, you can ask them about the terrain up ahead, and how far you are from your destination.
Maps are important on any camping trip. Before the trip, spread out the map on a table and look over your route and where you’ll be stopping each night if you aren’t returning to a base camp. Pay attention to landmarks like rivers, lakes, and bridges that will be recognizable as you pass them on your trip. If you get familiar with the route before you’re on it, you won’t feel as powerless and dependent on your more experienced partner.
Personally, I like to use this kind of landmark technique to keep me motivated on a long walk. I’ll check out the map for points that will be easy to recognize, like a footbridge we have to cross. Then when we get there, I know exactly how far along the route we’ve gone, and how much is left to go. It’s also a good way to know if I’ve somehow taken the wrong trail. If I’m supposed to cross a bridge after 1 mile, and two hours later I still haven’t crossed it, it’s time to think about where I might have made a wrong turn. Bodies of water are the easiest to spot, along with buildings (like huts, for instance), cliffs, and ridges. Remember that a small stream marked on a map may not be there during a dry spell, or a new stream that’s not marked on the map may appear after a storm. Never rely on just one landmark, but on the various ones you pass along the whole route.
Better still, learn how to use a compass and map to find your own way. Navigating and orienteering skills are very empowering and build confidence. If you’ve got the time before you head out, take a navigation course. Even if your partner is willing to help you, sometimes a proper teacher makes a big difference in picking up new knowledge. Knowledge is power, and power will give you the confidence to face the wilderness. If you want to take things a step further, it is now quite feasible to carry your very own GPS (global-positioning system) receiver on your camping trips. They are small, lightweight, and can tell you precisely where you are.
Another thing to do before you leave is tell someone where you are going and when you expect to be back. If there is someone back in civilization waiting to call out the troops if you don’t show up when you’re supposed to, it will add an extra level of assurance.
Cold
If you’ve never slept outside, you’re probably expecting to get cold on your camping trip. After all, we live in houses for a good reason. My boyfriend, Gerhard, is always cold. He’ll wear two fleece jackets inside the house. So it may seem kind of surprising that he likes going camping, even when it’s not summer. Giving up the comfort of a warm bed is something that makes a lot of people shy away from camping. But as Gerhard knows, there’s just no reason to be cold on a camping trip if you take the right stuff with