never entered my mind.
When you’ve been doing the camping thing for a while, it’s easy to forget that not everybody is familiar with the way things work in the woods. And when you’re worried about staying alive, you tend to put passion on the backburner. If you’re introducing a newcomer to camping, don’t make any assumptions about what that person knows.
For true city-slickers, it’s like being beamed up to another planet—and it can be downright intimidating. When Hillary met her future husband, she wasn’t a camper. He, however, had been camping with his family since he was little. “The only question they ever had to settle was whether to head for the mountains or the beach,” says Hillary. “But it wasn’t a holiday unless they packed up the tent and crammed the whole family into the car to set up at a campground somewhere.”
Hillary knew it would mean a lot to him if she tried his favorite pastime, but she was willing to do so on one condition: He had to do all the work. “I just trusted him to take care of everything, and, in fact, he still does,” says Hillary, who is now a camping convert. “Camping is a real vacation for me because he does absolutely everything—cooking, cleaning, and organizing.”
While at first camping was a big adjustment, Hillary soon figured out the trick for her was to avoid comparing it to the way things are at home. A few bugs weren’t the end of the world, even if she found one in her tea.
Her willingness to give camping a shot made all the difference in their relationship. “The fact that I had a good time on our first trip may have been the key to our entire relationship from that day forward,” she says. “It’s hard to say. But we go on a trip every three months and we’ve been doing it for years.”
Hillary and her husband are a good example of how to get a novice to go camping. If you are introducing your partner to camping, be sure to take your partner’s concerns seriously, and deal with them before you go on your first camping trip. If you’re the beginner, make sure you speak up about the things that are worrying you. You can’t expect your partner to predict everything that might make you nervous. Don’t be afraid that your partner will think you’re being stupid or wimpy—you aren’t supposed to know everything the first time out. Remember: If both of you are comfortable with what’s going on, camping together will be fun for each of you, and you might even be able to indulge in some of the romantic stuff.
Start with the Good Stuff
Sure, there are fears and difficulties to deal with, but let’s begin by looking at all of the great things about camping together. It’s going to be a whole lot easier to talk your partner into trying it out if you can provide some tempting reasons. (And if you’re the non-camper, listen up!)
Try this for starters: “Honey, if we go camping, you can have a whole weekend without hearing the phone ring, or de-spamming your email, or checking off chores on your to-do list. It will just be you and me, with no interruptions. We can do whatever we want, whenever we want. Doesn’t that sound nice?”
What couple couldn’t use a little more alone time these days? Leaving your usual life behind is a great way to refresh things between you and deepen your relationship. If that doesn’t work, crank it up a notch: “Baby, going out into the woods brings out the wild beast in me! I just want to get you out there alone so we can run naked through the grass and keep the animals awake all night while we howl at the moon.” Who could turn down an invitation like that?
If your partner is a romantic, don’t forget to mention the opportunities for cuddling by the campfire, eating dinner by moonlight, and skinny dipping under the stars. If it sounds like fun, not work, you’ll have a much easier time making it happen.
Camping together can make your relationship stronger by giving you a deeper trust in one another. You will be physically challenged, have to adapt to changing conditions, and find ways to get by with no help from the outside world. It’s amazing when you realize that the only person you need to survive is your partner. Learning to solve your problems together in the wild makes problems at home seem much more manageable. Knowing you can work through any situation together is going to make you a more confident, more dedicated “team.”
Top 10 Reasons to Camp Together
Is your partner still not convinced? Try my top 10 list. These reasons always work for me!
1 See wildlife without paying zoo admission.
2 Walk all day breathing pollution-free air.
3 See how bright the stars really are.
4 Have conversations that last longer than commercial breaks.
5 Wake up to the sun, not the alarm clock.
6 Toast marshmallows over a campfire.
7 Actually enjoy getting exercise.
8 Hold hands all day.
9 Enjoy dining al fresco.
10 Go skinny dipping!
Kathleen Meyer, a prominent outdoor writer from Montana who also used to guide rafting trips, has experienced the joy of bringing new campers into the wild, and watching their self-esteem grow as they master new skills. “It’s that self-esteem that you build when you’re doing things that you haven’t done before and facing situations that are new to you,” she says. “You bring that confidence back to the city with you. In a relationship, it builds that mutual confidence in your togetherness, that you have survived something, so that it becomes a bonding.”
Even if you do encounter difficulties while camping—and chances are, you will at some point—dealing with those challenges might be the best way to bring you and your lover closer. It’s no coincidence that war buddies have some of the strongest friendships. It’s the challenges we overcome together that build connections. When you begin to admire someone for what you’ve seen them do, it’s easy for that admiration to become something more. Friendship? Lust? Love? When we’re camping, we intentionally put ourselves into challenging situations, so the odds of admiring each other at the end of the day are pretty good. And then we get to crawl into the tent and express our admiration in all kinds of fun ways.
Going camping as a couple can also give you a shared feeling of accomplishment. Nothing is better than standing at the summit of a mountain (even a small one) with someone you love, knowing that the two of you made it up there the hard way. I defy you not to top it off with a big, heartfelt kiss! It’s one of the most popular places for hikers to propose marriage. How could you possibly say no with all of those endorphins running through your body?
One of the things that is so addictive about camping is the wonderful scenery you get to see along the way. Untouched wilderness, spectacular views, and sparkling lakes are just a few of the joys of getting away from civilization. Seeing these things with someone you love makes them even more special, because they become part of your shared experience as a couple. You can look at a picture and be transported back to a moment in time without saying a word. You can mention a particularly hot night of sex you had on a trip, and know that the place will forever mean something different to you than to anyone else who goes there.
Ross Morton, who works with the outdoor education program Outward Bound, says it’s a matter of recognizing those magical moments so you can take them in together. “Even though you may be focused on the end (goal), or what you’re doing, moments of beauty can stop people in their tracks,” he says. When two people stop to share one of those moments of beauty,
