Know that the love you have given and received is now a part of you. This love permeates your soul and will illumine your experience of the world. Even as grief weighs heavy, know that love can lift you with its lightness.
Today
Give thanks for the gift of love.
January 19
Many grievers are afraid that they're doing it “wrong.” Trust in your own process . . . if you need to cry, to write, to sit, to stare, let yourself be with your experience. Everyone has their own way of “doing” grief, so let yourself do what feels right and natural for you. Let grief move around you, over you, and through you.
Today
Let your process be unique to you.
January 20
Do not expect to one day return to your old self. Grief has changed you irrevocably. You are growing into a new self, day by day. This new self may be fearful, bitter, and shut down . . . or this new self may be full of increased compassion, heightened understanding, and deep love. Be open to such a transformation. Be open to letting grief break open your heart so that light comes through the cracks.
Today
Let light shine today through the cracks of your broken heart.
January 21
Grief comes in waves—sometimes giant tsunami waves that knock you down and leave you flattened. Other times the waves are gentle lapping rhythms. But the waves keep coming, and keep receding . . . eventually spacing themselves out. Once you start to ride the waves, you will feel less out of control. Expect them and be ready, knowing that the rhythms will come and go.
Today
Ride the waves of grief today without resistance.
January 22
Your loved one is with you . . . when you cry, when you laugh. Your loved one is with you . . . when you hide from life, when you embrace life. Your loved one is with you . . . when you think of them, when you think of something else. No matter what, your loved one is with you, always.
Today
Know that your dear one is with you, now and forever.
January 23
After a star dies, its light continues to shine for millions of years. So it is with your loved one. Their light just keeps shining, especially through the ones who are still here. Look and you will see that their light still shines all around you . . . and even shines through you.
Today
Watch for ways that the light of your loved one still shines.
January 24
You can't force it to be spring if it is winter. If you are in the winter of your grief, let yourself hibernate. Stop fighting the fact that it's winter. Rest in your grief; let it be. While winter days will still reappear now and then for the rest of your life, spring thaw will start to happen as time goes by. Spring flowers will even bloom again. But for now, be in your winter.
Today
Be where you are.
January 25
Notice the ways in which you are absorbing aspects of your dear one into your personality: Do you tell their jokes? Cook their recipes? Listen to their music? Have their attitude? Support their sports teams? Are you inspired by their courage, their laughter, their example? Let them become a part of you as you carry on their legacy.
Today
Reflect on ways that you are similar to your loved one.
January 26
Do not expect “closure” from your grief, or even a natural “end.” You will not get over this the way you would get over an illness. You can expect to feel pain, to integrate loss into your life, and to continually be sideswiped by sorrow. However, the intensity will change over time. You can also expect to experience love as an ever-present infusion into your being. So, while you won't have complete “closure” on your grief, you can know that you'll also not have closure on the love, the impact, and the presence of your dear one.
Today
Let go of the idea of “closure.”
January 27
Grief may well be one of the most surprising journeys you've ever been on. You could be surprised at the intensity of your pain. You are likely surprised by some people's reactions to your pain. It's possibly surprising how grief is a lifelong adaptation to your loss. And you may find surprise in the places that grief can take you—places of growth, love, and compassion. Try to be open to the unexpected.
Today
In what ways is grief surprising you?
January 28
If you think that death means your relationship is over, you are wrong. You are still in a relationship with your loved one, and you always will be. You will continue to love, to cherish, to remember, even to talk out loud to them. Your relationship is transformed to one without physical form, but it is nevertheless a relationship. Let it unfold into something new.
Today
Know that your relationship is eternal.
January 29
You are more than your grief, more than your pain, more than your sorrow. You are a being of light who can tap into a great energy that is within you and beyond you. Let this time of year be a time to hold your grief and your light simultaneously. Dwell in stillness and know that the light connects you now and always to all those you have loved and lost.
Today
Connect to the light that is at the core within you.
January 30
Grief asks you to be a turtle. Like a turtle, you need to retreat into your shell to rest. Let yourself do so. Pull into that shell for respite. There will be a time to come out of the shell, for short periods and then
