sex characteristics (present at birth and directly related to reproduction):External sex organs (vulva, clitoral glands, penis, scrotum)Internal sex organs (uterus, ovaries, epididymis, prostate gland, etc.)
Secondary sex characteristics (developed during puberty):Body hairFacial hairMuscle-to-fat-ratioLarynx sizeBreasts
Society’s idea of a “perfect specimen” in each of these categories might resemble the following:
| “Ideal Male” | “Ideal Female” |
| Lots of TestosteroneXY chromosomesSpermPenisTesticlesFacial hair growthDeeper voiceBroad shouldersMore muscular build | Lots of EstrogenXX chromosomesOvumVulvaUterusLittle to no facial hair growthHigher voiceBroad hipsBreasts |
But what if a person doesn’t fit precisely into either side of this table? I think many of us can think of at least a few people in our lives like this. For example, do you know any men who can’t grow significant facial hair? Probably. Are you friends with any women who do have facial hair? Perhaps.
If not, I’ll introduce you to one right now: me. My face is riddled with about 10 long, dark, stray hairs. Two years ago I would have never admitted this. (Now I’m publishing it in a book!) I used to be very insecure of the hair on my chinny-chin-chins, but since then, I’ve encountered several other women who also grow facial hair. Some have random stray hairs like me, some have hairy upper lips, and some can grow beards. I see now that having some hair on your face is a natural, and not uncommon characteristic for females.
Need more examples? There are also females with broad shoulders and prominent Adam’s apples, just as there are some males who grow breasts and can’t produce sperm. We need to understand in many ways that while there are biological patterns, they are not rules. However, we often talk about sex (and gender) as though there are rules. Rules that if your body does not follow, deem you inferior or strange. This is something we need to start challenging and changing.
Let’s take it even further, what if a person’s biology looks a little more like this:
No facial hair
Breasts
Genitals that resemble a vagina
XY chromosomes
Internal testes
No uterus
Little to no body hair
It quickly becomes more challenging to classify the aforementioned person as strictly “male” or “female”. Maybe you’re thinking to yourself, “The reason we only have two sexes is because no real person actually has characteristics like the set above.41 Or if they do, it’s extremely, extremely rare. I’ve never met anyone like this anyway!”
If you feel this way, you might be surprised to learn that in fact, about 1 in every 200 people is intersex.42 This means they do not completely fit into either of society’s ideas of what it means to be male or female. So, if your Facebook friends list is at least 200 people long you almost certainly have met an intersex person! To give you an even better idea of how common intersex people are, consider that 1 in every 200 is about the same as the number of natural redheads!
More often than not, you wouldn’t know someone is intersex unless they told you. Take the aforementioned list for instance; if this individual passed you on the street, how would you know what chromosomes, hormones, or genitals they had? You wouldn’t. Only their secondary sex characteristics (breasts, stature, facial structure, lack of facial hair) would be visible. And although these attributes are merely a fragment of the whole story of their sex, you’d likely flag them as a woman. Perhaps you wouldn’t do this consciously. It might not be as explicit as spotting them and thinking “THEY ARE SURELY FEMALE!” But odds are, you would label them subconsciously.
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