any LGBTQIA+ person who is “looking for their label.” Without adequate resources or education, it’s easy to be unaware of the copious identities that exist. It’s also entirely possible for a person’s identity to be too complex to fit any mainstream label. Not knowing how to put your identity into words can be isolating and frustrating. Used properly, language has the power to validate people’s identities and grant a sense of community.26
On top of those searching for a label, this book is also for allies and LGBTQIA+ people looking to pack in some extra identity know-how! Knowledge is a critical part of acceptance after all. Learning about new identities broadens our understanding of humanity, heightens our empathy, and allows us to see the world from different, valuable perspectives. Additionally, these words provide greater precision when describing attractions and identities, and there is never anything wrong with having an efficient, expansive vocabulary!
How to use this book:
While this book is chock-full of labels (that hope to validate people and help them find community) it’s important to note that this is meant to be a descriptive not prescriptive resource. It does not have an agenda to push labels on anyone, nor should you use it to label any individual without their consent. This book is not a weapon to police identities or place people in boxes, it’s simply a catalog of terminology for those interested in learning about a diverse array of identities.
What’s more, we should acknowledge that not everyone can agree exactly on what each identity is and how it’s defined (and that’s OK)! Almost every identity out there has more than one (or two, or three, or four, or twenty!) interpretations, and this book simply provides some of the most common perspectives on what each means.
Additionally, it’s worth noting that public opinion of many identity labels can change over time. For example, the word “transgender” didn’t come into our language until the 1960s. Before then, people often identified as “queens” or “transsexuals.” Now many consider those terms offensive to describe trans people.27 Our language and understanding of these concepts is constantly changing and that’s exciting! It means people are continuing to learn and analyze!
All this being said, if you do happen to find a word in this book you’re excited to claim, marvelous! If not, that is completely okay too. There are a variety of reasons why a person may or may not choose to label themselves. Some of these include:
They feel too fluid to commit to one label.
They don’t think any existing label completely captures their identity.
Their identity is still formulating and they don’t want to be rushed into a qualifier.
They wish to avoid the stigma and/or expectations tied to certain labels.
They don’t feel they owe society an explanation as to who they are. Their identity is personal information.
They find rejecting society’s propensity to classify and place everyone in boxes liberating.
And finally, they just don’t want to label themselves. It’s really as simple as that. They don’t want to, and they don’t have to. Boom.
A person’s decision to either use an identifier, or not, is completely personal, valid, and should be respected by others.
A disclaimer:
A final word of warning before we press forward: activism is tricky, and identities are complicated. It is entirely possible (and even likely) that during the course of your reading you’ll find that I and/or my team of knowledgeable collaborators have made a mistake. If this is the case, I encourage you to submit your criticism to ashleymardellbook.tumblr.com. I’ll do my best to compile the critiques and comments in a nifty, online resource for those interested in learning even more. Let’s embark on this journey of education together!
1. Adorable fact: This feature of the book was inspired by my mom. She was a huge help in the editing process. However, being a straight, cisgender lady she struggled a bit with the first read through. She thought a quick “LGBTQIA+-vocab-crash-course” at the beginning might make this book more ally-friendly, and less overwhelming for newbies. Thus, this cheat sheet was born!
2. Very, very brief. Please see each term’s full explanation found later in the book to get a more complete understanding of it.
3. See the cheat sheet to learn what LGBTQIA+ stands for!
4. See the cheat sheet for more on stigma!
5. (#InternalizedHomophobia, oops! See the cheat sheet and also here for more on internalization!)
6. Find more TSER here: http://www.transstudent.org
7. Find more Eli here: http://www.elierlick.com
8. Find more Gender Spectrum here: https://www.genderspectrum.org
9. Find for of the gender book here: http://www.thegenderbook.com
10. Find more Everyone Is Gay here: http://www.everyoneisgay.com
11. Find more Vesper here: http://www.queerascat.tumblr.com
12. See the cheat sheet for more on intersectionality!
13. Find more Camille here: http://gaywrites.org
14. Find more Emily here: http://emilord.com
15. Find more Riley here: https://www.youtube.com/c/RileyJayDennis
16. Find more Pidgeon here: http://www.pidgeonismy.name
17. Find more Micah here: http://neutrois.me
18. Find more August here: http://bit.ly/2cti1Dv
19. However, I had the final say on which concepts made it into the book and how they were explained. Understandably, not everyone who helped edit this book agreed on every matter, so if you find yourself taking issue with anything in the text, I am who should be held accountable before the other contributors.
20. All who have nifty blogs or vlogs that you can check out if you want to learn more about them and/or their identity!
