made a wonderful video on this topic: http://bit.ly/2cb3FGl
23. Note: To be clear, fitting a stereotype is not inherently a bad thing. Take the person above for instance - they have a great smile and even better hair. I would be their friend in a heart beat! What becomes frustrating is when cliched depictions are the only portrayals of LGBTQIA+ people we see.
24. Let’s be real though — flannel is amazing.
25. See here for more on what it means to be “intersex.”
26. Vesper’s story here is a great example of this!
27. However, some people do still identify with these terms, and if they are comfortable doing so, that’s completely valid!
Part 1:
Spectrums
Before we delve deeply into the details of sexual, romantic, and gender identities, let’s cover my favorite topic of all, spectrums! One of the reasons I’m so fond of spectrums is because I believe, with fierce tenacity, that nothing in this world is black and white. Spectrums embrace gray spaces, ambiguity, and fluidity. Since these are all concepts which are integral to the human experience, I find spectrums particularly helpful in understanding and describing identity. I also chose to start the book with this section for a very particular reason; because as we learn about various identities, it’s important we recognize they are not “all or nothing” concepts. Many identities can exist in various degrees and come in a range of possibilities. Remembering this is incredibly crucial as we progress.
Essentially, spectrums are tools or concepts that help us understand identities in complex ways. Often times we see them as visual aids on which we can represent and plot different identities. There are many styles, the most predominant being the linear model. This type of spectrum has two endpoints and lots of space in between. One experience frequently portrayed on a linear spectrum is to what degree a person experiences sexual attraction. That might look something like this:28
Decoding this visual is fairly simple. Anyone on the far left experiences no sexual attraction (asexuality),29 and anyone on the far right experiences lots of sexual attraction (zedsexuality).30 These plotted identities could look like the following:
But what about people who don’t feel completely asexual or zedsexual? Well, that’s what all that space in the middle is for! Maybe a person feels they fall somewhere between asexual and the spectrum’s mid-point. That is often referred to as graysexuality,31 and one way that identity could look on a spectrum might be:
Perhaps a person finds themselves moving all over the spectrum depending on the day and circumstance. They might identify as aceflux,32 and one way that identity could be portrayed on a spectrum might be:
Or maybe a person regularly experiences sexual attraction, but not a very high amount of it. That might look like this:
Interpretations of identities and the ways different people depict them, can be highly diverse. In order to represent themselves the way they feel is best, people might draw their spectrums differently. Some people might sketch brackets, plot points, doodle arrows, shade sections, and do many other things to their spectrum. In the end, there are no rules, and how a person draws their spectrum and plots themselves on it is completely up to them. Only they know how to do it best.
To give you an example, consider the following graphics. If we asked five different people who each claimed one the aforementioned identities (asexual, graysexual, aceflux, zedsexual and someone who experiences sexual attraction but not in high amounts) to each place themselves on the same spectrum, three options of how they could look, might be like the following:
Example explanations:
Asexual: “This is where I fall on the spectrum, right on the end.”
Graysexual: “I used a point because my graysexuality is pretty fixed. I experience low amounts of attraction.”
Aceflux: “I used a bracket to show how my aceflux identity exists between experiencing little to medium amounts of attraction.”
Person who does not experience high amounts of attraction: “I simply plotted where I fall on the spectrum, just above the midpoint. I definitely experience some sexual attraction, but not a ton.”
Zedsexual: “I fall on the far end of the spectrum. No part of me is asexual.”
Example explanations:
Asexual: “I’m not totally at the end of spectrum. I do experience minimal amounts of attraction, but I still consider myself asexual.”
Aceflux: “Dynamic arrows help show how intensely my attractions vary! Also, they range anywhere from zero attraction to some. I never feel more than some attraction.”
Graysexual: “I can’t simply plot my graysexuality with a single point. A bracket shows where my attractions exist, in a section towards the middle of the spectrum.”
Person who does not experience high amounts of attraction: “I experience a bit of attraction, but sometimes I feel like it’s not as much as most people. I plotted it with a point on the spectrum.”
Zedsexual: “I don’t think I experience attraction as much as everyone else I know, but I do experience it, and I still feel like I’m zedsexual.”
Example explanations:
Asexual: “The amount of attraction I experience can vary sometimes. I never experience more than minimal amounts though, so I bracketed off the left end of the spectrum to represent my identity.”
Aceflux: “I only experience two levels of attraction, and I fluctuate between them. I drew arrows pointing to those levels on the spectrum.”
Graysexual: “I’m not always totally sure how much attraction I feel, but it’s somewhere in the bracket I drew on the spectrum.”
Person who experiences some attraction: “This dot is where I fall on the spectrum of experiencing sexual attraction.”
Zedsexual: “My identity is pretty simple. I experience lots of sexual attraction so I’d plot myself on the far right.”
Linear models like the ones we’ve been discussing so far do have some limitations however.
