Nice Girl subpersonality and irritated the dickens out of Gene, which was, of course, her very necessary job at that time. Brunhilda's quality is strength to stand up for myself. She has softened and matured over the years but can still wield a gentle but resolute axe when needed.
During your day . . .
Become aware of different subpersonalities as they emerge. These aspects are your friends; delight in them. Some may need a little healing, but each is essential, and the quality they express is beneficial.
Imagine what that quality might be.
Much of spiritual life is self-acceptance, maybe all of it.
—JACK KORNFIELD
GETTING TO KNOW YOU
Getting to know my subpersonalities has been one of the most helpful and healing psychological tools I've ever used. Being aware of the different aspects of myself helps me understand difficult feelings, helps me realize who inside me is experiencing them, and gives me the chance to find out what they want and need in order to feel better. The more I connect with my subpersonalities, the easier it is for me to move into the “I” aspect of my being and become an objective and kind mother/mentor figure to a hurting sub.
Yesterday was a good example. Due to computer difficulties that included ignorance on my part, my longtime subpersonality Miz Perfection was frustrated to the hilt and as irritable as a PM Sing mother of toddler triplets. Gene was trying to be helpful, but all I wanted to do was scream at him to be quiet. Luckily, I thought to ask Miz Perfection what she wanted and needed from me right then. In a smart-aleck tone, she retorted, “I want you to knock his block off, but I need you to speak calmly and get out.” I laughed silently, did as I was told, and avoided hurt feelings. The laughter lightened my mood, and leaving kept me from splashing icky irritation energy on Gene. A win-win. . . . Feminine wisdom always desires win-win outcomes.
Your subpersonalities can appear as male or female humans, animals, or symbols. In a visualization I did with my son, he discovered a squirrel subpersonality. At that time, no one I knew had an animal, but with Brett's bushy red hair, active personality, and athletic ability, a squirrel was perfect. More importantly, he related to the image. Whoever or whatever appears to you and feels right is okay.
Orchestral musicians who understand their own and their colleague's music play easily together. The same is true of you; the more you know, understand, and accept your various subpersonalities, the more harmoniously they can coexist. Internal awareness ups your happiness quotient enormously.
During your day . . .
If you are a visual person, picture your subpersonalities. If visualization is hard for you, simply get a sense of what they might look like. Name them and begin to explore what makes them tick.
If you are aware of subpersonalities in distress, ask them what they want and need from you right now. Wants can be different from needs.
Have fun. You are getting to know a valuable inner circle of advocates and friends.
The more you know and accept all your selves, the stronger you become.
EMULATING WATER
Water is indispensable and adaptive and, therefore, an apt metaphor for feminine energy. If you've ever seen a flooding river crest or been close to the sea during a ferocious storm, you know firsthand the impressive power and frightening strength of water in agitated action. On the other end of the spectrum, the Grand Canyon is a testament to the patient, long-term power of water.
Yes, water can be dammed and contained, but when gathered together in great enough quantities, it can overcome most obstacles. Now is a great time for the water sprite in all of us to return to Source, break free, and reconstitute ourselves by emulating the fluid, yet determined, feminine aspects of water. Our physical bodies are already approximately 60 percent water; let's saturate our mental, emotional, and spiritual bodies with watery Sacred Feminine energy and invite our complete self to be in the flow.
One great example of peaceful, persistent feminine power is shown in the documentary Pray the Devil Back to Hell. It tells of a peace movement called Women of Liberia Mass Action for Peace. Organized by a Liberian social worker, Leymah Gbowee, Muslim and Christian women came together dressed in white to pray for peace and participate in nonviolent protests to demand a resolution to the country's civil war. Their movement eventually led to the election of the first female president of an African nation.
During your day . . .
As you use and enjoy water, appreciate it's life-giving presence.
If you feel constricted or trapped by a situation, imagine how water might find her way out or through.
Notice which of your subpersonalities are best able to go with the flow.
Water is of all things most yielding and can overwhelm that which is most hard.
—TAOIST ADAGE
INTEGRATING HEART AND HEAD
In our quest to live balanced, happy lives, learning to integrate the feminine heart and masculine head energies within our own psyches is essential. Both energies are God given, and each has beneficial qualities. Many men and women have recognized that true balance comes from liberating the feminine in men and the masculine in women. In reality, almost everything worth doing or being requires both heart and head attributes to be successful. Life is much easier and more fun when both are balanced and cooperative.
I've noticed many of us, male and female alike, are expressing more head than heart energy. That's okay as long as your behavior feels comfortable and genuine. Although I can be competitive in games, I don't feel right expressing hard-edged, aggressive energy except in the privacy of my own mind or with a trusted friend who is not the target. In order not to suffer guilt and remorse, I need to transform conquering and controlling mental energy before I talk with someone about issues and misunderstandings. Only after taking the aggression out of my feelings can I engage in a heart-centered discussion with the hope of finding more understanding and a win-win solution for everyone. Others I know find fiery encounters stimulating and fun. No matter what your individual comfort zones, the important thing is to relate to yourself and others authentically.
If you spend a great deal of time in an environment that demands a lot of mind/striving/outer head energy, you instinctively know when it's time to give intuitive/relational/feminine heart energy some attention. On the other hand, if you spend most of your time nurturing your family or in a career such as nursing, your mental head side could probably use some time in the spotlight. Balancing both energies promotes peace of mind, heart, and body.
During your day . . .
With an open mind and heart, notice how much time you spend in your head versus your heart.
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