an authentic representation of who you are? If so, great. If not, what changes might be helpful?
The authentic self is the soul made visible.
—SARAH BAN BREATHNACH
MIRRORING JESUS AND ROSA PARKS
Male and female represent the two sides of the great radical dualism. But, in fact, they are perpetually passing into one another. Fluid hardens to solid, solid rushes to fluid. There is no wholly masculine man, no purely feminine woman.
—MARGARET FULLER
The preceding quote points out the intermingling of energies that Jesus and Rosa Parks so beautifully illustrated in their lives.
As portrayed throughout history, Jesus appears to have been a sterling example of a man who lived from his heart even though residing in a patriarchal era and raised in a male-dominated religion. He reportedly liked and respected women, helped all those who needed it, taught and modeled love and acceptance for all, and forgave under the most extreme circumstances. I imagine him as friendly and outgoing while also requiring silence and solitude to refresh his soul. And he must have been tremendously charismatic and purposeful to impart teachings that still influence millions today. To me, he is the perfect example of unconditional love.
I'm so thankful to my Sunday School teachers who portrayed Jesus as someone to trust rather than fear, and as a result, I've been enamored of him since I was a little girl. To this day, I often feel his presence especially when in need of comforting. To me, Jesus epitomizes integration of heart and head and masculine and feminine energy.
In a very different way, Rosa Parks is also a great example of integration (accidental pun). Although she was actually the second African American woman who refused to give up her seat to a white passenger, her peaceful yet resolute refusal and arrest led to the 1955 Montgomery bus boycott. As a result of the thirteen-month boycott, important changes were made in the existing laws, and Rosa Parks's part in that caused the U.S. Congress to call her the first lady of civil rights and the mother of the freedom movement.
Even if the examples of Jesus and Rosa Parks don't resonate with you, I imagine there are people in your life who have the wonderful ability to combine heart and head energy in complementary ways. Maybe one of those is you.
During your day. . .
Be aware of opportunities to use both your heart and head in dealing with simple occurrences.
Think of people you know who blend masculine and feminine energies wisely and effectively.
Congratulate yourself when your heart and head are in sync.
Allow your life to reflect all aspects of your being.
BEING AMUSED AND EDUCATED BY SHADOW
One of the most fruitful connections we can make is with the shadow aspects of our personalities, for they often represent unhealthy roles we've fallen into or strengths we are not fully expressing. A great way to become acquainted with active shadow sides is through subpersonality exploration. I've already introduced you to two of my shadow aspects, Brunhilda and Miz Perfection. Brunhilda, whose quality is the strength to stand up for myself, is the shadow side of Strong Adult Sue. I needed Brunhilda to show up in her dramatic warrioress form to grab my attention and help me balance her counterpart, Terminal Nice Girl. Miz Perfection is the shadow version of Madame Reliable-Responsible, and not surprisingly, her qualities are reliability and responsibility. In shadow form, however, those beneficial qualities become compulsion and perfectionism. Anxiety, nervousness, and stress alert me to Miz Perfection's presence. Knowing she's in the driver's seat allows me to take over the steering wheel and make more self-supportive choices.
When we are connected to the magical essence of feminine energy, we feel spaciousness, generosity, joy, love, and all the other good stuff. Contrarily, when immersed in our shadow selves, we feel constricted, miserly, depressed, manipulative, victimized, ashamed, bitchy, and sometimes downright mean.
Getting to know and appreciate our shadow sides is enlightening and life-enhancing; however, acting directly from them can be iffy and possibly destructive.
We all have shadow sides. They are invaluable teachers, natural and educational parts of being a multifaceted human being. They can also bring a lot of fun, spice, and excitement to our lives. Given their helpful nature, it is appropriate to greet shadow aspects with open hearts, amusement, and gratitude for the valuable insights they offer about our attitudes, behaviors, and beliefs.
During your day . . .
Tune into what you consider a shadow aspect of yourself. Someone you might call a bitch, whiner, drama queen, or possibly something others have labeled you. If you can be amused as you get to know this aspect, that's great.
Delve a little deeper and find out if this shadow aspect has insights about you or a current situation or concern. Ask how she can help you.
What about her appeals to you?
Welcomed into our awareness, shadow aspects can be a wellspring of wisdom and entertainment.
LOVIN' LARGE
Recently I was waiting in an overcrowded airport boarding area that served three different gates and offered almost no amenities. People were sitting on the floor, one overstimulated dog was wide-eyed and wiggly, little kids were cranky—as were a few of us bigger kids. Squashed into a cramped two-chair space, with colorful bags and sacks scattered all around them, was a foursome of women having the time of their lives. Their frivolity was contagious, and hearing them laughing and kidding around with each other relieved the uncomfortable tedium of waiting. Unexpectedly, a part of their good-natured bantering gave me an important lesson.
One woman was joking about dieting when her generously proportioned friend retorted, “Honey, I finally decided, since I'm gonna be large, I might as well love large.” I don't know if the double entendre was intended, but the Oprahesque replier seemed A-OK with herself just as she was and appeared to be a person who also loved herself and others in a large way.
When I remember, I adopt her attitude, and instead of likening my own generous body to a Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade balloon, I affirm I am built to love large. It makes a difference, shifts the energy from criticism to love, and that's huge. In a good way.
During your day . . .
Change critical comments about yourself to loving and affirming ones.
No matter what your physical size, know that you are made to love large.
A little bit a lovin' makes a whole lotta difference.
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HAVING
