of spirit, but I ended up with a couple hundred dollars when all was said and done. We kept a paper record of our donations, but there was no oversight. I looked at the money and I instantly had a thought: if I kept the money, no one would know.
At that time, I was playing a lot with remote controlled cars. I went to the store and bought myself new gold painted hubcaps and wheels for my car. These were things I never would have bought with my own money. Two of my friends were jealous of my newly “tricked out” car. I had accomplished my goal. I thought it would make me feel better about myself, but it didn’t.
I went to my mom and told her what I had done. She helped me try to return the items to the store, but they wouldn’t take them back. I repaid every penny I had taken by emptying my savings from the bank. Years of odd jobs, birthdays and holidays…gone in a flash. I learned an invaluable lesson about money, and about win-lose scenarios. I had a win in one department (looking cool) but a lose in another (feeling badly for not being in integrity with myself.) I certainly wasn’t perfect from that age on, but I definitely got the lesson that day.
Conscious capitalism
The win-win philosophy can be applied not only to your personal life and yourself, but to your work, too. The key is to be conscious of every professional decision and its impact on yourself, your business and the world around you. The conscious capitalism model is built on three core principles:
Deeper Purpose Recognizing that every business has a deeper purpose than merely profit maximization, a Conscious Business is clear about and focused on fulfilling its deeper purpose.
Stakeholder Model A Conscious Business focuses on delivering value to all of its stakeholders and works to align and harmonize the interests of customers, employees, suppliers, investors, the community and the environment to the greatest extent possible.
Conscious Leadership In a Conscious Business, management embodies conscious leadership and fosters it throughout the organization. Conscious leaders serve as stewards to the company’s deeper purpose and stakeholders, focusing on fulfilling the company’s purpose, delivering value to its stakeholders and facilitating a harmony of interests, rather than on personal gain and self-aggrandizement. Conscious leaders cultivate awareness throughout their business ecosystem, beginning with themselves and their team members, and moving into their relationships with each other and other stakeholders.
—From consciouscapitalism.com
What I learned is that this form of success (win-lose) is both unsustainable and dissatisfying. Why do you think so many of the wealthiest people become philanthropists? They have accomplished the desires of their ego and learned that it’s more satisfying to empower others than to take from them. This is the shift from a win-lose paradigm to a win-win.
With a win-lose scenario, I have to take from you in order for me to benefit. With a win-win, as I benefit, I uplift the community around me. True abundance and prosperity benefits the greater good—you and everyone around you. Money sometimes has a bit of a fickle nature; it wants to know why you want it to come into your life. If you can expand your reasons for wanting this wealth and abundance (to create something, to help family and friends, to inspire others to what is possible) to include something deeper than the surface reasons (to have stuff), then perhaps it will come more quickly and stay longer. It will also make your story feel good to everyone who hears it, which goes beyond win-win into a win-win-win paradigm.
Highest Good of All
My grandfather was an incredibly successful businessman. He was a giant in the publishing industry, and his work on the ad council led him to meet everyone from heads of business to presidents. Every night before we ate dinner, I remember him saying the words, “May we be ever mindful of the needs of others.”
In order for something to truly embody the principles of win-win, you must keep it in mind as you set out to accomplish your goals. How would getting my desires fulfilled impact others? In Black Sect feng shui, we always temper our desires with the phrase “for the highest good of all people concerned.” This acts like an energetic insurance policy, a safety net or a guiding principle. It gives you permission to ask for whatever you want; the caveat is that it’s for your highest good and the highest good of all involved, so you can’t ask for anything that’s too much.
On the surface, some of life’s opportunities might look as if they’re for your benefit, but later you may find that the look was deceiving. We never know why things work out as they do until we look through the glasses of hindsight. If we can begin to trust and intend our way through life that everything is functioning for a higher good, then we can relax and navigate the waters of opportunity with a renewed confidence and faith that all is as it should be.
Thank You in Advance
We have become accustomed to saying thank you after good things happen in life. It is polite, but it also feels good. So what happens if you start acting as if good things are already happening…before they happen? What if you begin to say thank you in advance, anticipating all of the good things that are on the way? Not only would you feel good from saying thank you, but you’re putting “out there” that good things are coming, which may even help you create a self-fulfilling prophecy. Saying thank you sets a powerful intention for future success, and that intention starts now.
Tithing: Giving Back to Our Source
They say the fastest way to get anything in life is to give it away, because you can’t give away something you don’t have. Sometimes we have to give in order to receive. One way to give back is through the process of tithing. Many people associate the process of tithing with the church or other religious institutions; what many people don’t know is that farmers originally inspired the process.
Farmers noticed that if they harvested their entire crop annually, every few years there was a “down year,” resulting in no crops. They found that by simply returning 10% of their crops to the soil that there were no down years. This is one of the founding principles of sustainability: keep 90% for yourself and give 10% back. This principle also applies to our lives. It’s like the goose that laid the golden egg; if you get greedy and take too much, it stops.
The church adopted tithing because it’s a business and it wants to survive, but the church is a metaphor for whatever helps you in your life. It doesn’t matter what the thing is, give to something that sustains you in the world in some way. This could be a school, a spiritual community or a charity. It could be children, the environment or the arts. Give back of yourself in some way. If you feel moved to donate a portion of your paycheck, then do. If you prefer to give your time or your skills, that can be a beautiful thing and just as meaningful or more so than a monetary donation. As you give to something that represents your own source of inspiration and opportunity, the same invisible energy will always be there for you as well.
One afternoon about 12 years ago, a friend called and invited me to coffee. He asked me what was going on in my life and I told him that I was struggling. He listened intently as I shared with him all the ways in which I was having a hard time. At the end of our conversation he gave me a $100 bill. I was flabbergasted. He told me that a friend had done the same thing to him once and he wanted to pay it forward. He urged me to do the same thing one day when I felt moved to. I will never forget his kindness and I always remember his words.
Inverse Tithing
There is a thought that if 10% is good, then 20% must be better. Or 50%. Or 80%. In an effort to be viewed as generous, it’s possible to almost become greedy in a way. If giving is good, then giving more is better. Whatever your reasons for wanting to give this much, inverse tithing
