yourself. You may not feel worthy or deserving of receiving anything. You get something and immediately give it away. If someone gives you something, you immediately try to figure out how you can repay them.
For a while, this was me. I loved the feeling of giving so much that sometimes I kept doing it, even to my own detriment. I’d give money but then have to borrow for rent. I would donate so much of my time that I ended up not leaving enough time for paid work. And there were times that I was so exhausted that I wasn’t of use to anyone.
If you do this, you too may become depleted and then have no choice but to ask for help. Imagine if you were a farmer and you gave 90% of your crop back to the soil. You would only have 10% left to sell, and then most of your work that year would go to waste. The soil doesn’t need more than 10% to be sustainable, so challenge whether your desire to constantly give more is coming from a balanced place. (I’m not talking about philanthropy; if all of your needs are being met, then feel free to be as generous as you want. The information on inverse tithing is focused more on people who are struggling and feeling that they have to do more in order to get more, or to feel good about themselves.)
I’ve experimented in many different ways with tithing through the years. I’ve given money and I’ve given my time. I’ve given to charities that I believe in: ones that build houses for those in need and those that create clean, safe water, or plant trees in areas that were devastated. I’ve given to yoga studios, temples and the arts. I’ve given publicly and anonymously. And I’ve always been provided for—always and in all ways. Does it have anything to do with my tithing? Since I don’t know for sure, it feels better to believe that it does than that it doesn’t. It has always felt good to give and I do it as much for me as I do for others.
Once You Get It, Enjoy It and Honor What Got You There
Sometimes we arrive at our goal and without pausing for more than a second, we’re instantly thinking of our next goal. But you may be forgetting how hard you’ve worked and all of the effort that went into accomplishing your dream. Take a pause and acknowledge your hard work, feel the feelings associated with getting what you worked for and allow yourself to really give yourself the accolades you deserve. This can certainly help build self-confidence for the future, and it will keep your days from blending together in a forgettable blur. If we don’t take time to enjoy the fruits of our labor, we can lose sight of why we are doing this to begin with.
The good life is one where you have an abundance of health, wealth and happiness. When you have success and the fruits of that hard work come in, it is the happiness that will sustain you through the next cycle. The happiness will have long-term positive effects on your health as well.
Everything comes from the source and to the source it is returned, so be sure to honor those who helped you along the way. Honor the visible allies (family, friends, community, spiritual leaders) and the invisible helping hands (your highest source, God, guardian angels or whatever you personally believe in). People will appreciate your thanks and will be more likely to help again in the future.
After sports teams win, they have a parade. It’s a way of giving back to all of the fans that rooted for them along the way. Whether it’s a party, a dinner or simply raising a glass in a toast, do something to honor the occasion with a celebration of your process. Celebrate, appreciate, rinse and repeat.
EXERCISE: Test drive your life
Sometimes people wait for the stars to align before they take action. Others constantly act as if the thing they want is already happening, and then they allow themselves to catch up to what they commit to. But what if you aren’t quite ready to take that leap of faith? Perhaps an easy way to dip your toe in the water is to test drive your life.
A lot of us make wish lists, lists of “somedays” and “what-if’s.” Places we want to travel. Things we want to buy. Relationships we hope will one day walk into our lives. They say destiny is where opportunity meets action, so where can you begin to take steps now, today?
If you want a new car, test-drive it to see how it feels. Don’t just window shop, try on the dress or rings or shoes and see what the experience is like. Go to the open house. Price out the trip around the world. Something powerful happens when you take action and set things into motion.
Make a list of the eight things you most want to test drive in your life, and do it in order of priority within the next 40 days. Why eight? Eight is often thought of as a number that relates to abundance and prosperity. Why 40 days? It’s the number that relates to a spiritual journey (think Noah on the Ark, Jesus in the desert or Buddha under the tree). If you want to keep a journal or make notes on the list of how the experiences feel as you complete each one, you can reflect on them later to remind yourself of the accomplishments and positive energy you manifested by “trying on” your ideal life.
Until one is committed there is hesitancy,
the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness.
Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation),
there is one elementary truth,
the ignorance of which kills countless ideas
and splendid plans:
that the moment one definitely commits oneself,
then Providence moves too.
All sorts of things occur to help one
that would never otherwise have occurred.
A whole stream of events issues from the decision,
raising in one’s favour
all manner of unforeseen incidents
and meetings and material assistance,
which no man could have dreamt
would come his way.
I have learned a deep respect
for one of Goethe’s couplets:
’Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it.
Boldness has genius, power and magic in it.’
From The Scottish Himalayan Expedition, 1951—W.H. Murray
Passion and Romance
"Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it" —Rumi
Feng Shui Principle
