‘No,’ he said sulkily. ‘I want to stay the night here.’ I thought he was being unreasonable.
‘I don’t want to go home. If I fall asleep, just leave me and you go home.’ With this he flung himself down on his back and closed his eyes. He could have been an unpredictable and moody child when he was young, I thought, and smiled to myself. As if coaxing a child I put my hand on his shoulder and gently tapped it. ‘Please stop being silly. Just tell me what you want me to do.’
After a long silence he called me formally, ‘Miss Yun.’
‘Yes, Mr Kwŏn.’
‘Can you recite a poem for me?’
‘A poem?’
‘Yes, please.’
‘What poem?’
‘Anything that might comfort a lonely soul.’
The first thing that came to my mind was a translation of Yeats’ ‘Innisfree.’ I recited it once and having no response from him repeated it once more:
I will arise and go now, and go to Innisfree,
And a small cabin build there, of clay and wattles made:
Nine bean rows will I have there, a hive for the honey bee,
And live alone in the bee-loud glade.
And I shall have some peace there, for peace comes dropping slow,
Dropping from the veils of the morning to where
The cricket sings;
There midnight’s all a glimmer, and noon a purple glow,
And evening full of the linnet’s wings.
I will arise and go now, for always night and day
I hear lake water lapping with low sounds by the shore;
While I stand on the roadway, or on the pavements grey,
I hear it in the deep heart’s core.
‘Thank you, Miss Yun. That was lovely,’ he said as if he was awaking from a dream. ‘I have been foolishly wishing that my body was purer so that I could join in a perfect happiness. It has been bliss to be with you for the last few days.’ After a long silence he raised himself and sat upright and said, ‘Would you care to hear my life story?’ I was tense with curiosity.
‘Your youthful vivacity with no trace of shadow gives me the illusion that my dead wife has come back to me.’
‘Dead wife?’ It made me start. Ignoring my surprise he went on, ‘Shortly before I went to America, I used to go to S Girls’ High School as a part-time lecturer. I fell in love with one of my pupils there. I was confident that I could make her the happiest woman in the world. She was not particularly beautiful but had an attractive personality. She made me think of a crock filled with clear water. I loved her for that. But my mother, who is wilful and perverse, did not like her. She could not accept a poor widow’s daughter who was not a great beauty as the wife of her only son. While I was away in the States my mother played all sorts of mischief to make her give me up. The letters I wrote were never once answered. When I came back she was not among the people who welcomed me at the airport. That evening my mother threw a big party to which she had invited many smart young ladies but it all meant nothing to me. Then the telephone rang on the table by which I was standing. She had taken poison and been taken to the Severance Hospital but there was little hope for her. I rushed there at one breath and broke down by her bed, crying uncontrollably. Apparently after seeing me at the airport from a distance she had gone home and committed the deed straightaway.’
I felt my eye-lids smarting as tears rose to my eyes.
‘I didn’t leave her bedside for two days. Miraculously on the third day she came round. After she came out I married her at once. But she was not at all like what she had been before. She had lost all her former vivacity. With lustreless eyes and limp body she carried on for another two months before she died.’
As he came to the end he closed his eyes. I thought he might burst into tears but it was I who broke into sobs. It was not only the dead woman I felt sorry for but my heart ached for him. Beneath his gentle manners, to carry such a sorrow! He opened his eyes and smiled at me. ‘Silly Sukey, you are crying. I’m sorry if I have upset you. Shall we go now?’ He pulled me up by my hand. When we came to the house where I lived with my sister in a rented room, he put out his hand for mine, which I readily gave him. He held it tenderly in his hands and said, ‘Good night. You must be very tired,’ and added, ‘Can I see you again tomorrow or would you rather stay at home and have a rest?’
I didn’t know what to say. Two more days and he will be gone. I wanted to make the most of the time left. On the other hand, I was really tired. I thought I needed a day’s rest to be at work on Monday. Just then I heard some one moving behind the gates. I quickly pulled my hand out of his grip, said in whisper, ‘I’ll see you at the usual place at eleven’, and ran into the house.
6 April. 3 a.m. I have been lying awake all this time. My limbs and whole body ache and I am dog-tired but sleep would not come. Like a pond disturbed by throwing a stone in it, I cannot calm myself. At the temple, he went out of the room so that I could relax and rest while he waited outside. He could love, with such faithfulness, a plain-looking woman with poor background. He is a man of few words. Most of the time he lets me dominate the conversations with trivial matters while he just looks on me with admiring eyes. He has some respect for women. He is a personification of goodness and truthfulness. If he wants me I think, I shall give him the whole of myself at any time. In this way am I sealing my fate? Yes, I am ready to accept my fate if it is that.
I finally dropped off after more or less making up my mind. Once gone off I slept soundly. When I woke up it was half past ten. I got myself ready in a great hurry, omitting the breakfast, and got a taxi to ‘Rose’. Even so I was half an hour late. Leaning back on a chair he sat with closed eyes. As I sat opposite him with a guilty look he opened his dreamy eyes and said, ‘So you decided to come?’ There was no need to explain why I was late. I just smiled.
‘I knew you were tired, but I thought you may not want to see me anymore, a worthless man like me...’ He did not look as sad as he had yesterday so I stopped him briskly. ‘No more moping, please. It’s too nice a day to be stuck in a dark corner of a tea-room. Let’s get out of here.’ This seemed to cheer him up.
‘I thought a day at the seaside would be nice, after a day in the mountains, unless you are too tired?’
‘A day in the mountains followed by a day at sea! How wonderful.’ I gave him an admiring look as I clapped. ‘Where will that be?’
‘Inchŏn would be just right for the time we have. It’s already twelve.’ He stood up and went to the counter to pay. He had a camera slung over his shoulder, and looked very smart from the back. I was proud of him. On the way to the bus terminal, I was slightly taken aback when out of the blue he asked, ’By the way, what sort of salary do they pay you?’
I teasingly said, ‘A gentleman asking a lady about her salary!’
‘It’s
