HERE'S HOW I FEEL about Josie Varga: I believe Josie is an angel who has taken human form, and a particular one at that, so as to teach us the art of true self-acceptance and happiness.
Josie is an important teacher in my life. Many of her teachings are to be found in the pages of this book, but most of all they are in the example of how she lives. I only have to think of Josie, the challenges she has faced, and the way she lives her days, to receive an instant “spirit boost.” Josie helps me to remember the real truth of who I am, what real happiness is, and what is truly important in my life.
Josie Varga's life story will get your attention. On the face of it, Josie has a lot of reasons to be unhappy. Indeed, she has faced a lot of unhappiness in her past. From the moment she was born, Josie has had to face a catalogue of challenges including disability, rejection, discrimination, and abuse. In facing her unhappiness with courage and honesty, Josie has found true happiness.
In Josie's words, “this book is not about teaching you how to be happy. It's about what your soul already knows to be true.” Her philosophy of happiness is very similar to what I teach at The Happiness Project, and what I write about in Happiness NOW and Be Happy.
Like Josie, my experience has taught me that happiness is not an it; happiness is not a thing; happiness is not a destination; happiness is not just a state of mind, and happiness is not just in YOU; happiness is YOU! Happiness is your true nature, and it is what you experience when you allow people like Josie to show you how to listen to your wisdom and follow your joy.
As an added bonus in this book, Josie also introduces you to her friends (who are also angels, like Josie) and to teachers of happiness (like the Dalai Lama and Marci Shimoff). Their insights and tips are a perfect supplement to Josie's teachings. So, I encourage you to get to know Josie, the spirit booster, by turning the pages of this precious book ever so slowly so as to receive the many treasures and blessings therein.
Robert Holden, PhD
London, England
Author, Be Happy www.robertholden.org
Robert Holden and Josie Varga
Introduction
“Most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be.”
Abraham Lincoln
“WE HOLD THESE TRUTHS to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.” Undoubtedly, this is the most cited line in the Declaration of Independence and one of the best known sentences in American history.
Most of us have grown accustomed to the belief that happiness is something which we need to pursue or strive to obtain. The truth is that the “pursuit of happiness” is quite the paradox. You don't have to go very far to find true happiness as it lies within you. Happiness is your actual state of being, true self, or true nature. Unhappiness, therefore, is ignorance of one's true nature; it is our ego self at work. So, until we realize who we truly are, we will never obtain the happiness that we seek.
Our Founding Fathers knew this. During their era, the word “pursue” meant not to chase after but to practice regularly. Jefferson and the other members of the Continental Congress believed happiness is what God intended for all of us because it is our natural state of being.
Consider what was going on at the time the Declaration of Independence was written: the British were closing in on the American colonies, and we were in the midst of war. Yet, despite everything that was taking place on the outside, happiness was clearly on Jefferson's mind. Happiness is not external but internal. Studies have shown that as Westerners have grown richer over the years, they are no happier. Why?
To answer this question, we need look no further than our children. They live in the moment, never worrying about the things that consume adults. They focus on one thing at a time and do not distress about future events.
Yes, children do get upset, but they don't hang on to that anger or negative emotion. They may be upset about not being able to play with their toys or whatever the case may be, but they are able to let the emotion go as soon as something else grabs their attention. They don't worry about what they are going to do next. The only thing that occupies their minds is being happy in the moment. It is their true nature and it is our true nature.
As we grow older, however, we bury this awareness within because our minds become cluttered with what I like to call “mind chatter.” We worry about the bills, the kids, work, etc. The list goes on and on. We are consumed with negative thoughts of fear and desire to the point where we can no longer experience the joy within us. Eventually, these thoughts become our reality.
If we can learn to silence this mind chatter, we can discover happiness once again. Notice here that I didn't say “find happiness.” Mystics have long told us that “happiness is inherent in our souls.” It is independent of what is going on around us and independent of emotions. This sounds like a contradiction. I mean how can happiness be independent of our emotions? But the truth is when we remove all the negative emotions within, we are left with nothing but happiness. These emotions include: stress, hatred, sadness, depression, envy, jealousy, guilt, doubt, worry, fear, and so many more.
We are not born unhappy; we choose to be unhappy. We are born with an inner peace absent of any negative thoughts. We knew only compassion, joy, and love. There was no judgment, only acceptance. And this acceptance is what allowed that inner peace to grow. As Gandhi once said, “Be the peace you wish to see in the world.”
True happiness is possible at all times, no matter what the circumstances in your life. It doesn't matter how much money you have or how many material things you own. The fact is research has shown that the wealthy are not necessarily happier than the poor. On the contrary, many people have become unhappy once they struck it rich. If you look for happiness, you will never be happy. Ironically, the more you chase after it, the further you are from it.
Material things don't make us happy. They bring us only pleasure. There is a difference. Pleasure is an enjoyment brought on by outside incentives. There are many things that can bring us pleasure like buying a new house, getting a college degree, meeting with friends, making love, etc. Pleasure requires something to happen in order for you to experience it. This is not the case with happiness. While pleasure is external, happiness is internal. Something that brings us pleasure will not necessarily make us happy.
You might be saying, “Well, that is easy for you to say; you've probably lived a trouble-free and comfortable life.” Nothing could be further from the truth. Allow me to tell you a little about myself.
My father and his four siblings grew up poor on a farm in Italy, escaping to the United States in search of the American Dream. Although my mother, who was born in Partinico, Sicily, did not grow up on a farm, bread and meat were a special treat in her house as they were provided only on special occasions. My parents married and had three children of which I was the youngest and was named after my maternal grandmother Josephine Oliveri.
My family was surprised by my premature arrival at 7½ months with reddish
