better choices that create happiness and contentment for you.
We all know what our strengths and weaknesses are. But far too often, instead of drawing on our strengths, we tend to concentrate on the things we cannot do. I grew up with cerebral palsy. As a result of my disability, I have many weaknesses. As a little girl, it bothered me to no end that I could never go ice skating with my friends. I tried several times, but I just could not maintain my balance on skates.
Then one day I said to myself, “You may not be able to do a lot of things, but you can also do a lot more than some people.” After all, I had a disability. Yet I could walk and even run on my own. I could ride my bike. And I was a good writer. Through my writing and my imagination, in fact, I was able to do anything that I wanted to do. Whenever you find yourself confronting one of your weaknesses, look beyond it and find happiness in your strengths.
Think of the things you can do and not the things you can't do. Similarly, look at the things you have done in your life and not the things you have yet to do. Remember, your attitude is what makes all the difference.
I must admit that this concept has been extremely difficult for me. We all expect certain things from our family and friends. But what I've found over the years is the more I expect from others, the more I'm apt to be disappointed.
In 2000, when I was diagnosed with skin cancer, I felt like I had the weight of the Empire State Building on my shoulders. I was miserably depressed. When I got the news, I expected certain things from my friends. I wanted everyone to stop what they were doing and run over to lend me a shoulder to cry on.
Very few did what I expected. So I found myself mad and resentful of all my other friends. As time went on, however, I realized that just because my other friends did not respond the way I had expected them to didn't mean that they didn't care. Everyone has his own way of dealing with things.
I came to realize that it's not fair to expect my friends or family to drop everything they were doing and run to me. I learned not to expect too much. This way I can continue to appreciate them regardless of whatever happens in my life.
Sometimes you believe in everything and everybody except the person who is the most important: you!
No one will believe in you if you don't believe in you. It has to start with you. Get reacquainted with yourself. Know who you are and why you are that way. Tell yourself that you can accomplish anything. Reflect on how far you've come in life and think about where you want to go from here. Know what you want and make a feasible plan to make it happen.
If you believe in yourself, life becomes so much easier because you will fear less and achieve more. You will be more open to see and to take advantage of opportunities when they come up.
Millions of years ago, Homo sapiens first walked about the earth's natural terrain barefoot. Their bodies were so in tune with nature that they could easily walk over stones and tree branches. Doing so not only helped them survive during those primitive times, but it helped them develop a deep connection to the earth and fostered spiritual well-being.
I love the feeling of calmness that I experience when I walk on the beach barefoot. The sand and pebbles caressing my toes, heighten my sense of awareness, and make me feel like I'm one with the earth. Try it. Of course, you don't have to walk on the beach. If you prefer, it can be the grass in your backyard or even the rocks and dirt at the local park.
As they say, there are two things that are certain in life: death and taxes. Well, I think one more thing should be added to the equation and that is change. It is not only everywhere, it is inevitable. There's not a thing we can do about it.
For example, we are all growing older every day. Again, there's not a thing we can do about how many years we have on this earth. Yet, people spend billions of dollars on cosmetics and plastic surgery in a desperate attempt to turn back the clock. Ironically, the stress that this sometimes causes can actually have the opposite effect. So why waste your much-needed energy trying to resist change? Instead, embrace and accept it.
Things are not always what they seem. It sounds pretty logical and easy to accept, right? Well, no, not exactly. Realizing and accepting the fact that things aren't always how we perceive them is a very difficult milestone to pass. Let me give you an example.
I was born with severe bilateral hearing loss. When my husband and I first moved into our current house, we were amazed at how wonderful our neighbors were. Everyone was very friendly and would frequently yell out greetings from their front lawns. The only problem was that I frequently had no idea they were speaking to me. I was perceived as snobbish because I seemed not to want to engage in conversation. But the truth was I was very anxious to get to know my new neighbors, I just couldn't always hear them.
When I finally got around to telling my neighbors that I was hearing impaired, they all gave me this look like “Oh, so that's why you ignored me the other day.” The lesson here is to always give people second chances. If a friend was rude to you the other day, maybe it had nothing at all to do with you. Maybe she was going through some tough times. Ask for an explanation. Don't just assume things are one way or the other.
As I was growing up, my big brother Michael would often tell me whenever I was down or upset about something, “Remember, Josie you have to have a PMA.” When I was a kid, I used to stare back at him like I thought he was crazy. Today as an adult, however, I realize how wise my brother's words were.
The fact of the matter is we can't control everything that happens in this life; however, we can control how we respond to what happens. We can choose to focus on the positive.
When we do so, we give our spirit a boost. And when our spirits are high, we are better able to deal with whatever adversities may come our way.
Studies have shown that those who are positive tend to live longer and better lives. So, as my brother always used to say, remember to have a PMA.
As I write this, I am nine months shy of my forty-third birthday. The truth is, however, mentally I don't feel any different than I did when I was twenty-five. The difference is now I am a mother and have a lot more responsibility than I did in my younger days. I am definitely not as carefree as I once
