first audition with one particular Liverpudlian family. The family consisted of Mum, Dad and two grown-up twentysomething children still living at home. Talking to them in their living room, while they watched telly, a producer asked them what they thought the BBC stood for – as in its values. The following conversation unfolded, unprompted …
DAUGHTER (25): Er, B … B … C … Well, it stands for British Broadcasting … er … Company. Doesn’t it?
SON (29): No … British … Broad … casting … Corporation.
DAUGHTER: NO! That’s not right, ’cause then it would be BBCC!
The son rolled his eyes.
DAUGHTER: So what does ITV stand for then? Inter … national Television?
DAD (employing a slightly weary tone): No, you div, Independent Television.
The daughter looked down, and paused momentarily. Then, as if a light bulb had just been switched on in her head, she looked up and with a huge smile gleefully announced …
‘Oh, that’s brilliant, that is … so those mings at Channel 4 … they couldn’t even be arsed coming up with a mammogram!’
Cue further rolling of eyes and groaning from parents and brother alike.
It was this moment when we knew that Gogglebox would work. Not just because of the unintentional humour involved, but because of the remarkable interaction that occurs when we sit down with the people we love to watch television.
Sadly, the family mentioned elected not to take part in the series, and I often wonder what they make of it. Then again, the current cast of Gogglebox have delighted us week in, week out with far more priceless gems of genuine wit, wisdom and heartfelt humanity, so much more than I could ever have imagined.
For me, Gogglebox belongs to each and every one of them, and so does this book.
Tania AlexanderExecutive Producer of Channel 4’s Gogglebox
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JOSH: Do you think Japanese people will become extinct? |
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BILL: Snakes have two penises, don’t they? |
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LEON: They’re all strange, people who do allotments. |
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STEPHEN: If they’re going to make mannequins more realistic, give them bingo wings. |
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SANDRA: What’s inside a penis? Meat? |
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JUNE: You shouldn’t split things with a swear word, Leon. |
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DOM: I very nearly got my nipple pierced in Ireland on my stag weekend. Thank God it was shut. |
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STEPHEN: Well, that’s bored the shit out of me arse. |
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SCARLETT: He is beautiful, isn’t he? His face looks like it’s been carved by angels. |
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BAASIT: Do you know that a beaver can kill a man? It chomps down on you and can cut the femoral artery. |
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JUNE: Do you remember the time when we were invited out and you threw up on somebody’s carpet? |
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LEON: Yes. He’s dead now, isn’t he? |
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LINDA: How do they know what’s going to be the weather? Do they measure something? |
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DOM: ‘What did you do in the office today, darling?’ ‘I wanked a walrus.’ |
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