Camelot and met a girl” I say.
“Umbre lai, Camelot is one strip club!” Tuna says.
“Yes, that’s what Chad said too. Well, he said that one girl was lap dancing him and getting drinks for him and he started to feel really drunk. He said that she took him into one of the private rooms in back. He actually thought that after a few more drinks she was going to leave the club with him and go back to the hotel. Finally, after about an hour in the champagne room, she told him that he needed to pay for the drinks and the dances. His bar tab was seven hundred fifty dollars” I say, shaking my head in disbelief.
“Hoi, he get clipped! What he do?” Tuna asks.
“He said he paid it. He told me that he felt too guilty for leaving us to call me or Mr. Saru so he put it on his company AMEX card and walked back to the hotel” I say.
“He walked, hoi, is like five miles. Wait, his company pays for lap dances?” Tuna asks laughing.
“I guess they do now” I say. “Chad told me that he was so pissed off at himself for hooking up with a ‘buy me drinky’ girl that he walked back to the hotel and passed out. Anyway, that was the first night. The next day we had to be at the gym early. It was the day of the training seminar and Markus had to demonstrate his training routine. About fifty people were signed up, KUAM and Pacific Daily News sent reporters and camera crews and Marcus was late. He finally showed up but during the training seminar he kept asking Deanna Fish to demonstrate exercises for him. You know that one girl from the gym Deanna? The fitness bunny you are always flirting with? Anyway, after the seminar she volunteered to drive Markus back to the hotel. I asked Markus if I could meet with him and Chad for a few minutes in my office. I was going to ask Markus if we could schedule a private seminar for the staff members that had been working and could not attend. Well, Markus flies off into a rage, calling me an idiot, telling me that he just spent four hours training the other idiots and that he needs to get some sleep. He kept yelling at me, saying that I was fucking up. He told me that he would never come back to this shitty little island if I didn’t let him rest and get some food” I say.
“Fo reals?” Tuna asks.
“Yes, for real and then Markus walked out of my office and slammed the door. He just wanted to go fuck Deanna. I was pissed off about it. Chad stood there making excuses for Markus. He said that Markus wasn’t really like that, it was the steroids talking, blah, blah, blah, you know? I was just in shock and I told Chad that Markus is an asshole and a cry baby and that we had done nothing but treat him like royalty and Chad just agreed with me” I say.
“Did you tell Mr. Saru?” Tuna asks.
“No. I figured that if he had heard the things Markus said to me that he would have put Chad and Markus on the first flight off island. Besides, I think Markus was really just angry because he wanted to go fuck Deanna Fish and I was holding him back. He did give me a half assed apology later that night. He said he was really just exhausted and that I hoped that I didn’t take him too seriously because he was really enjoying himself on Guam” I say.
“So he fucked Deanna?” Tuna asks.
“Yah, he told me that he did. Actually, he told me during dinner that loves all women but he can’t really enjoy prostitutes. You remember his ex-wife, the fitness model Mindy Royce?” I ask.
“The one from the MuscleMag poster in my room?” Tuna asks.
“You have a poster of her? Fuck Tuna, she’s a hooker! She used to be married to Markus and he said that towards the end of their marriage, they went to couple’s therapy and that is how he found out she was a hooker. She told him she had been sleeping with men for money and excitement. She was a call girl for fun” I say.
“Hoi is fucked up“Tuna says.
“Yes, that is fucked up but anyway, I decided not to tell Mr. Saru about the drama with Markus, but he knew something was up. He asked me a few times if I felt alright. I guess he could tell that I was ready for Markus to leave. Anyway the next day there was more drama because Chad went into one of the local pharmacies to buy some thyroid drugs and steroids. He called me from the store because he wanted me to have Mr. Saru call the pharmacist and tell them it was ok to sell the drugs to Chad and Markus”
‘Fo reals?” Tuna asks.
“Yes, Tuna, for real and I actually had to explain to Chad that Guam is part of the United States and we have the same laws here that they have back home in California. Between Chad and Marcus I was tired of the bullshit but I didn’t want to tell Mr. Saru about that so I just dealt with it. The only thing left for me to do was take them to the airport the next day. But, later that night Mr. Saru called me because Chad and Marcus ran up a tab at club G Spot and didn’t want to pay. Chad called Mr. Saru and he called me. I had to go clean up their mess” I say.
“Fo reals? Damn haoles! What happen?” Tuna asks.
“Yes, Tuna, for real, Mr. Saru had DJ take me to Club G Spot in a government SUV. DJ parked it on the curb with the lights flashing and used his badge to get us into the club. We found Chad sitting at the bar drinking with one of the bar girls. Markus was in one of the champagne rooms, dancing in his underwear with six naked strippers. Oh, and he had six bottles of champagne on his tab too” I say.
“How much was two, maybe three grand?” Tuna asks.
“For them it was free! Shit, you should have been there when DJ told the manager to send the bill to Mr. Saru’s office. He just nodded and that was it. Chad was really happy about that because Markus’ tab alone would have been about twenty five hundred dollars. Anyway, after that DJ drove all of us over to C’est La Vie to meet up with Mr. Saru and Mr. Shino and that is how I met her” I say.
“Hafa umbre, all stuffs happen when I off island? Shoots need to go clubbing with you” Tuna says walking up to the checkout line. I’m still amazed by the amount of people in the store.
“Hard to believe so many people are shopping here at night.” I say. The checkout line is moving fast and as he is paying for his Spam and DVD’s, Tuna explains why KMART is so crowded on a Friday night.
“Air-con, Kmart, malls, movies, wherever is air-conditioning there is people. Cheap to go out, better than stay home and use your own air-con. Eh, no change subject, you nevah finish telling about that one C’est La Vie girl. You poke squid?”
“Yes, Tuna, I like poke squid, brah” I say in a feeble attempt to sound like a local.
“Hoi, poke one squid! That’s what I’m talkin ‘bout!” he says as we walk outside and up the stairs.
“What you like drink?” Tuna asks, holding open both doors of his refrigerator and looking inside.
“Diet Coke” I say.
“BBQ Chicken, red rice, tortillas, finadene, Diet Coke. Ok, time for eat” Tuna says, sitting down at the fully loaded table. Even with just the two of us eating, the table is filled with platters of food.
“We grind an you finish tell me about the C’est La Vie girl” he says.
“Claire, her name is Claire Chung and she is a junior at Southern Methodist University in Dallas. She’s actually from Texas and she grew up in Texas. SMU is expensive so she is here to make some money” I say.
“Eh, every strippah only do if for pay college, every bar girl, every hostess
