Apparently Jenny made enough money to buy a new car and cover her tuition and expenses for a year of school. Claire asked Jenny if she could work the clubs too and that is how they both ended up working at C’est La Vie. Claire Chung from Dallas is ‘Lily’ a hostess at C’est La Vie.”
Tuna chugs an entire can of Budweiser and burps the word ‘boring’.
“Was one boring story” he says.
“You tell me how you wen meet her, wen poke squid in the club, take her home?” he asks.
“Okay, okay, I ‘m getting there, like I was saying, we were in C’est La Vie partying in a private karaoke room. Mr. Saru was singing Kalapana songs and I took a seat on one of the sofas. There were various song books listing the songs that are available by number so I started to look through one of them and noticed and I was impressed by the list of current American pop songs as well as Japanese, Korean, Thai, Tagalog and of course, Chamorro songs” I say. Tuna looks amused.
“Umbre, we serious about karaoke on Guam” Tuna says. “Most bars update the songs weekly an get most newest songs” he says.
“Damn it, Tuna, stop interrupting me and let me tell my story” I say with a laugh. “Mr. Saru was singing, Chad was drinking and Markus was flirting with three slinky Asian girls. He was smiling ear to ear like someone stoned out of their mind. Anyway, he told me that he has never been to anyplace like Guam with all these lotus blossoms. He kept calling the girls ‘lotus blossoms’ and they were eating it up. They probably had never seen a man with muscles the size of a Mr. Universe either. Anyway, one of the girls started to sing a Thai love song. It had a sweet melody. Just as the song was ending, the mamason, Natasha came into our room with a tray full of drinks and another three hostesses. One of those three sat with Mr. Saru and began rubbing the back of his neck. The other two sat next to me and introduced themselves as Lily and Rose.”
“Eh, wake me up wen you finally going tell me you poke squid.” Tuna says.
“Damn it Tuna that is how I met her. Then we poked squid, the end.” I say, taking a mouthful of red rice.
‘Eh, no make ass. Finish. Tell story.” Tuna says.
“Ok, ok, both girls were sitting with me and they had thick fob accents and they were very flirtatious. But something didn’t sound right. The girl named Lily sounded like she had a southern twang” I say.
“More like fresh off the jet, FOJ not fresh off the boat” Tuna says laughing “Umbre, the Guam accent, it southern, Guam is south. You go outside, look up an see one Southern Cross. Maybe even check one globe. Guam is south, deep south” he says.
“Yah, ok Tuna. Are you going to let me finish?” I ask. He nods his head and pretends to zip his mouth shut.
“Ok, so these two girls were flirting with me and after drinking a few rounds with Chad and Markus, I needed to take a piss. I asked Lily where the bathroom was and she took me by the hand and led me out of the karaoke room, down the hall and to a private bathroom. I went inside and shut the door behind me. After I take a leak, while I am washing my hands I hear the door open and in the mirror I see her come into the bathroom. I turned to face her and she started to kiss me aggressively” I say.
“Hoi, Kill a pig, poke one squid!” Tuna shouts out.
“No, Tuna, not yet, we were still locked in a kiss when I pushed her against the wall and lifted up her dress. She pulled the dress down, still kissing me but more passionately. I raised her arms over her head and pinned her to the wall and she started grinding against me and she kicked up one leg and wrapped it around my ass. I hadn’t even noticed that the door had opened or that Natasha was in the bathroom until she began pulling Lily away from me.
“It ok, it ok” Natasha was saying, ‘You go back to room. Take Lily back to room.” Natasha kept pushing me out of the bathroom. So I took Lily back to the karaoke room and saw that Markus had his shirt off and was doing his version of a Chippendales dance for the bar girls. I asked him where the other guys went and he told me that they went to another club. Then he looked at me and said ‘they’ll be bahhhk” impersonating Arnold.”
“Eh, Markus an Arnold both was Mr. Universe an they both German too?” Tuna asks.
“No, Arnold is Austrian and Markus is from someplace else in Eastern Europe. Damn it Tuna, let me tell the story! So Lily and I were sat down and she began to kiss me again. After a few minutes I stopped her to ask if she wanted to leave with me.
She looked panicked and said; “I no can leave. Mama no like me leave.” So I told her that since I was leaving she could at least tell me her real name. All of sudden she looked at me soberly and said; “Lily, my name Lily.” So I asked her where she was from and she said Qingdao and then I said; “Ok Lily from Qindao China, give me your cell number and I will call you.”
“Cannot. Mama no let me leave work. Just call here and ask for me, ask for Lily” She said. So I told her that I didn’t believe her bullshit story. I told her that her name probably isn’t Lily and that she is not from Qindao. But I did tell her that she was fun and pretty damn cute too. So I asked her again for her number and told her that I would take her out to a real club or dinner. You know a real date” I say.
“So she wen go home with you an how much longer your story?” Tuna asks.
“Stop fucking interrupting me Tuna, okay? I was walking towards the exit when Lily handed me a C’est La Vie business card that she had written her name “Lily” on it. I figured it was in case I wanted to come back and pay her to drink with me.”
“Yah, shoots, that is what ‘buy me drinky’ all about. Finally you learn something” Tuna says.
“But when she hugged me goodbye I felt her hands sliding down my back and she leaned close and whispered in my ear; “My real name is Claire and I am from Dallas. Dallas, Texas. Put your cell phone in my hand and I will give you my cell number.” So I discreetly took my phone from my pocket and slid it into her palm. She hugged me close and with my phone behind my back, dialed her number and hit the send key. She ended the call when her voicemail picked up. Then she slid the phone in my back pocket and said; “There. Now you have my cell number and I hope that will you call me”. She kissed my cheek and then she walked back down the hall to another karaoke room to entertain another group.
“That’s it? No poke squid? You call her?” Tuna asks.
“Hell yes I called her” I shout at Tuna. “And we went out the next day. Claire spent the night with me and yes, Tuna, it happened for real. I poked squid!”
‘Eh! Good for you. Now pass some kelaguen” He says laughing ‘how you end up in one magazine?”
“That’s the funny part. I took Claire and Jenny to a concert at the Hard Rock Café and some photographer took our picture and since it was published in the most popular magazine on the island, everyone saw it, including the Saru’s. In fact, Mr. Saru called me because he was concerned that his wife, Elisa, would find out how I met those girls” I say.
“Hoi, umbe, sounds like trouble.” Tuna says.
‘Yah” I say. “Mr. Saru told me that Elisa was happy because I am out making friends. She even heard that Claire and I have been dating” I say.
“Coconut Wireless works fast. Guam is one small island, people talk, people talk a lot.” Tuna says.
“Mr.
