the recovery time, I think I felt “lost” because I couldn’t talk to anyone about anything that was going on. I certainly had the Lord, or maybe I should say He had me. The whole process was a very frightening experience because I didn’t have anyone to help me through or really be able to discuss it with anyone except my doctor. Someone asked me once if I felt I had any special treatment with my cancer. I told them “no” because no one knew anything about it! I was always on guard for fear that someone would find out. I had a neighbor across the street who helped me from time to time with groceries, but she had done that before the cancer so it was no different.
I would love to say that was the end of breast cancer in my life, but the Lord had other plans. In 2004, my beautiful daughter Pauline, at age 52, came home and told me she was diagnosed with breast cancer. As she was filling out the papers for her treatment, she made a statement that it was interesting that there was no family history. It was as if the dam broke and I told her, for the very first time, that I had breast cancer 31 years before!
I have been asked many times why I never said anything before that time to anyone. I can’t honestly say whether it was shame or it was just forgotten or maybe I still had a little fear of what might happen. I still didn’t tell her all the details of what I went through, but just that I had cancer. Again, I don’t know why but I think it was hidden so deep inside all of those years, I just couldn’t. Whatever the reason, Pauline and my family were hearing it for the first time.
Pauline’s cancer was found during a mammogram. She knew very early that it was cancer and was given a lot of information regarding her options. What a difference from my diagnosis! I vividly remember feeling like I was numb and in a daze and asked Pauline if she was okay. She said she was fine and felt like she was very informed.
Pauline’s story has a different outcome than mine. She did the chemo and radiation. During one of the visits to have her port changed, something happened, which to this day NO ONE has been able to figure out, but Pauline contracted some type of bacteria. She was in the hospital for three days, and then went into a coma for six weeks. It settled in her back and she is now confined to a wheelchair. Everyone, I mean everyone tried to check everything and there just isn’t any explanation for what happened, but I am thankful I still have my daughter and I was glad I was there to help care for her while she was in the hospital. I knew what she needed and I was able to be there for her, to be her voice.
Through all the challenges, God has blessed us abundantly! I have three wonderful children, five grandchildren and six great-grandchildren and life is very full! Many members of my family have been educated and serve in positions where they help other people. I am very proud of all of them!
Tammy asked me to talk about what I had learned through all of this and what I tell people today. I have a few things I would like to share with you that may or may not be helpful.
First, we need to PRAY and talk to God the same way we talk to our very best friend. He knows all about us, no matter what. Sometimes we need to wait and sometimes the answer is no, but we must always pray and talk to Him.
Second, do not ever give up! There is always hope and we must never give up hope! I am a 36 year survivor and I never gave up hope.
Third, you have to trust your gut. Your gut can help you in a lot of ways, not just trusting. Our diet and health, what we put in our gut is very important. We need to eat healthy to keep our system regular and keep our gut clean and working. I firmly believe in green tea and yogurt as two ways to keep us healthy. We need to eat more grains and fiber, especially whole grains and the darker the breads the healthier. Put good things in your body. I believe that if I had eaten better throughout my life I would not be dealing with high blood pressure and diabetes, and who knows, maybe I wouldn’t be writing this story as a breast cancer survivor.
Fourth, we MUST take a hand in our own health, not just being informed while we are making decisions and going through things, but also afterwards to make sure we are doing everything we can to maintain our health. We have to get second opinions, and learn everything we can about our options. If you don’t like your doctor, especially, if she/he doesn’t treat you as a whole person, not just the ailment or disease, then get another doctor – your doctor has to be good for you! For example, with cancer chemo may be an option, but it may not be the only option. Be vigilant. Do regular breast exams. Get plenty of rest.
Fifth, along with your doctor you have to choose a hospital that has love and YOU in mind! You can’t treat cancer separate from the whole person. They have to love you and be there for you!
If you need help, then ASK for it. I couldn’t go to any support groups because I was so afraid that someone would find out. Pauline went to support groups and they even asked her to bring her family along because they were part of the recovery. I never had anything like that. There are a lot of people out there to help – ask for it and seek out what YOU need.
Not too long ago I had another scare. The doctors thought they found something again and I went through more tests. There was definitely something that they both found, but when they went back, they couldn’t find anything on the films. I told them they can call it whatever they like, but I call it Jesus! When Jesus heals you, it’s a promise. What He does, lasts, and there is power in His healing!
Imagine! For so many, many years I was unable to open my mouth about my life and what was going on, and now, with Him glory and blessing, I am using my voice to try and help others! Amazing grace, indeed!
Christine Allen
As written by Tammy Miller
Christine Allen lives in Philadelphia and is a 73 year young mother of three; grandmother of five; and great-grandmother of six beautiful children. She works with the Wellness Community, which just merged with the Gilda Radner Foundation, to help other people facing the challenges of cancer. She was awarded the “Champion of Inspiration” award from the Susan G. Komen Foundation, and is deeply involved in volunteering efforts, most recently with the hospice program at the University of Pennsylvania. She works with the Community Health Center #5 of the Philadelphia Department of Health and serves as a Board member and volunteer. Author’s note: And, she was an inspiration for this book!
Changing Times (Thankfully)
Cynthia Anderson
In 1981, I went after work one day for my first mammogram. It was a terrible experience. The office was cold, dreary and unwelcoming and the people were unfriendly. I put the vest that they give you on backwards, was then ridiculed by the technician and just felt that the entire visit was humiliating. When I left that day, I swore that I would never go back for another mammogram again – and I didn’t, for sixteen years.
After a decade and a half, I received a letter from my insurance company “reminding” me that I hadn’t gone for a mammogram in years. Truthfully, my initial thought was that the letter was rude and it was none of their business. I kept the letter, though, and after a while began to worry that maybe they would cancel my insurance because of it. So, completely unenthusiastic, I scheduled an appointment for a mammogram.
I was shocked at how much everything had changed since my first visit. The people were accommodating and friendly, and the office was warmer with colored wallpaper and decorations. The whole experience was so much better, until the bad news started.
I was told they found micro-calcifications on my mammogram that are indicators of early breast cancer and from there, everything happened very quickly. I had an excisional biopsy, which confirmed the diagnosis followed by immediate surgery, and went back to work right away. I opted not to have reconstruction. At that time, it was very hard to find prostheses and I was extremely frustrated. Eventually
