to Bring a Smile
Never underestimate the power of a light-hearted moment. Medical research now shows the physical and emotional benefits of laughter. Sometimes we hold back from introducing humor in a situation out of concern that it will be inappropriate or taken poorly. And there are times that humor is not helpful.
So ask your friend for permission to have a lighthearted moment. Say:
“I heard a really awful groaner joke. Would you like to hear it?” Or:
“I was reading about the medical benefits of humor and I wonder if we could take a few moments from our regular time together to…” Or:
“I brought something really silly that I thought you might like to share with your family (or medical staff). May I show it to you?”
And if your friend isn’t up to it, she’ll say no and that’s okay. In fact it empowers her. How many times in her medical treatment can she refuse something? But if she says yes, some things you might consider sharing are:
Silly Jokes
Take copies of printed silly jokes or cartoons to leave with her so she can share them with others. You can find them in books and online.
One knock knock joke that’s good for her to share with medical staff is about HIPPA, those hospital rules that protect privacy by having people not share information. It goes:
Knock Knock. Who’s there? HIPPA. HIPPA who? I can’t tell you.
Chicken jokes are always popular:
Why did the chicken cross the basketball court? She heard the referee call a foul.
Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide.
Why couldn’t the chicken find her egg? She mislaid it.
At this point, you may be thinking that a silly joke doesn’t do very much. But shifting her mind, even for a moment, is giving her a “breather” from the daily grind and reconnecting her to the lighter side of life.
Sometimes it can do even more. The late actor Christopher Reeve recalled how he laughed at fellow actor Robin Williams who visited him wearing a blue scrub hat, a yellow gown and speaking with a funny accent. Reeve is quoted as saying “I laughed for the first time (since my paralysis) and I knew that life was going to be okay.”
Comedian Bob Hope has said “I have seen what a laugh can do. It can transform almost unbearable tears into something bearable, even hopeful.”
Visual Props and Ideas
Find colorful, silly hats for you and your friend. On the internet, buy kazoos, rubber chickens and latex-free clown noses. Look for funny pictures of animals in magazines or in Youtube (www.youtube.com) videos.
Record or buy programs by her favorite comedians. Laughter has a long-shelf life. You can revisit a funny episode time and again and still enjoy the lighthearted lift. Norman Cousins, author of Anatomy of an Illness who watched Marx Brothers films said that “ten minutes of genuine belly laughter had an anesthetic effect and would give me at least two hours of pain-free sleep.”
Look for humor in your own life to share. “A funny thing happened the other day…”
Celebrate milestones in her journey with fun mementos. Cut out paper “wings” and tape them to a crayon, telling her she passed her test (or ended her treatment) with “flying colors.”
The Power of Mirth
In summary, know that your presence with your friend in times of sadness and joy will make a tremendous difference. Whenever possible, lighten her load with love and laughter.
Perhaps it is said best by this poem in Richard Snowberg’s (out of print) book The Caring Clowns: How Humor, Smiles and Laughter Overcome Pain, Suffering and Loneliness:
The value, the worth and the power of mirth
Can help each of us to get through
When the going is rough and incredibly tough,
And even the sunshine looks blue,
For once you give in to a chuckle or grin,
Your spirits just natur’ly lift,
And life is worthwhile each time that you smile,
For a laugh is a God-given gift.
Anita Thies lives with her husband Jim, her dog Tasha and her flock of rubber chickens in State College, PA. She is co-author of The Joyful Journey of Hospital Clowning: Making a Difference with Love and Laughter which may be downloaded for free at her website: www.toottheclown.com.
The Lump and I –What I’ve Learned From My Bout With Breast Cancer
Anne Abayasekara
It may be that scores of women around Sri Lanka are fingering their breasts nervously at this moment to ascertain whether they can feel any unwelcome lumps. I know three such, all of them about 30 years younger than I, who did discover lumps and were unutterably relieved to find they were benign or harmless. With the approach of my 85th birthday, I really thought I’d sailed past those perilous seas into calm waters, but I did continue to look for lumps. And then on Sunday, January 24th, I did discover one, although I half hoped it was my imagination. I kept mum about it until January 26th. when I asked a doctor friend of mine whether she would be good enough to have a look at my left breast and tell me whether the offending lump really existed. She kindly came over, examined me and said, “Yes, there definitely is a lump and you’d better have it out quickly, even though it’s probably a harmless one, as I can’t feel any glands.”
The two questions that I am most frequently asked now are: “Does breast cancer occur in women over 80?” and, “How did you find out that you had a lump?” I’ve learned that breast cancer is by no means uncommon among us oldies – both my surgeon and an Oncologist confirmed this. The compensating factor is that among us old people, the cancer develops at a much slower rate than it does in the younger age group of 40s and 50s. “It’s not so virulent,” said my surgeon. As to how I discovered it, the habit
of feeling my breasts for lumps at bath time was routine with me – not that anyone in my immediate family had suffered from breast or any other cancer, but because there’s so much publicity given today to the need to look for lumps. However, my Oncologist
emphasized that what every woman over 40 should do, is to have a Mammogram taken once a year, because by that means even a small “seed” is discovered long before it grows into an identifiable lump and if it is malignant or cancerous, early treatment is so much more effective. People make a big thing of a Mammogram being a painful procedure. May I state that while it does hurt when a lever is clamped down on your breast, the pain is of momentary duration, for just a minute or two, and is surely preferable to the suffering that can be caused by a full-blown cancer?
I saw a reputed surgeon on January 27. He examined me and murmured,
