unspeakable evil that I felt did not harm her. At least not on, this night.”
Winter Woman heaved a sigh of relief. She had been unconsciously holding herself very tense, since she had awakened from her dream. She knew her son was right as soon as the words were spoken. The unspeakable violence she had witnessed did not happen to the girl in the window. That was what she had thought when she had come awake though. When he said the words to her, she had visibly relaxed and let out her breath.
“Cougar, it has been good to share this with you tonight. Thank you my son, for sharing that which has been troubling you also. I have dearly missed having Grandfather here to discuss my gifts and to help me understand them. Now that you have spoken with me, I feel much better.”
“Mother, we will speak many more nights to come. Never fear bringing your need to talk to me. I am glad that I can do this for you and glad that I can now speak with you about my gifts. It has helped me greatly as well.”
They both rose, and bade each other to sleep well and went back to their beds. Cougar had not brought all that had been troubling him to her. Perhaps he would, but not yet. He didn't understand it well enough to place into words, not yet. The girl troubled him greatly, more and more lately. She troubled him in a way that he could not share with his Mother. She troubled him as no woman had ever done, until now. He felt an odd emptiness in his chest, and at times a familiar ache in his groin when his thoughts turned to the girl. It was with very great difficulty that the young Chief, Cougar of Spirit Lake found sleep this night, as with many nights before. The green eyes, delicate features and the masses of tawny hair floating through his mind until sleep finally claimed him.
Had Grandfather been still with Winter Woman and her son, he would be smiling in his robes as he watched them sleep. These two did not yet realize how their minds worked. Many words had not been spoken aloud tonight, but these two did not realize that, as they never did. Grandfather had seen this many times as the boy was growing. They knew each other's thoughts. No actual words had to be spoken for this to happen and many conversations between them were only half conversations, fewer words spoken than either realized. Grandfather would have known too that to some extent, Cougar had this gift with many people, whereas Winter Woman only shared hers with her son.
Cougar had not totally realized his gifts yet. It had not yet been noticed by him that the words he heard often had not actually been spoken. There had been many times in the world of the white men that he had startled people by answering them before they voiced their question. None had said this to him however. There was something more than his size that kept them in awe of this man. Indeed, they knew they didn't want to bring anything to his attention that he didn't want to have done. He exuded a strength and presence that were not only impressive but known to have struck some with a little fear, women he had known included. The women did not fear his strength, rather they feared losing their hearts to him. Yes, Grandfather would have smiled at this. A gift such as that bestowed upon Cougar would come to serve him well in his lifetime of this, he could be certain.
CHAPTER FIVE
Jessica could not believe that soon they would be leaving the farm. It just seemed as though everything had happened so fast once Thomas had put all the plans into motion. She felt odd that she had no reluctance to leave the farm. After all, Jacob had been born here and Mama had died here. Yes, so much had happened here. All the happy times with Mama had been in this house.
Well, she couldn't sit around here at the table drinking tea all day. She had much yet to do and this wasn't getting it done. She opened the back door to call Tommy to help her with her large hope chest from upstairs. Try as she might it was too much for her to handle alone. As she opened the door a cold blast of wind bit her in the face. She slammed the door and leaned against it with a shudder. This was ridiculous! She had to stop associating a silly thing like a cold breeze with sadness. Before she could stop herself though, she had begun mentally going through a list and ticking things off that had happened after she had felt that dread cold wind.
First, there had been the day Mama died. She told herself she couldn't really count that. It had been a warm and sunny day one day but the next day dawned bone-chilling cold, it was after all in the fall of the year. That morning stood out in her mind and she sighed, knowing it most likely always would. This morning she had dreamed of the cat again, as on that morning. She couldn't keep associating the cold wind and the cat with bad things! She shook her head and busied herself in an attempt to dispel her morbid thoughts.
Her mind continued its train of thought despite her busy hands. The next time she had dreamed of the cat was the day Thomas had come to speak with her about the wagon train. Even though she had felt that cold wind when she had stepped out on the porch with him nothing had really come of it, now had it? Well, just the news about the affairs of the farm. That was bad enough after all. Feelings of dread had haunted her all that day, before Thomas had come over, and still nothing so bad had happened.
Later that very night she had still felt that dread, even while standing at her window before going to her bed She could remember shivering uncontrollably after standing there a while and finally she had ran to her bed and jumped into it feeling like devils were chasing her. She was glad no one had seen her do that! She did admit that a short while after jumping into her bed she had really been frightened when she had come partially awake at the sound of the hideous scream from a cat.
Again, she had dreamed of the cat, just this morning. That is probably why when she had encountered the cold wind just now it had bothered her so much. All through the winter she had felt the cold and it had not bothered her at all, just these few specific times. Still, she felt that dread, no matter how she tried to shake it. Oh, this was just stuff and nonsense! If she didn't stop this folks would think she was crazy just like she knew they were saying that Papa was.
As though thinking of him had conjured him up, he walked into the kitchen. She realized she was staring. She tried to stay calm and act like this was an ordinary occurrence, even though it was anything but that! Papa never left his bedroom anymore. She must be calm she told herself and forced a smile to her lips as she turned to face her father and said, “Good morning Papa”.
“Morning, Jess.” John answered, hoping he sounded ‘normal.
She looked at him startled that he had acknowledged her, let alone had spoken to her. Her eyes were riveted to his face. She saw for the first time in many months something she had all but given up hope of ever seeing again. He looked like Papa. His eyes looked normal, lucid in fact, for the first time in many months.
“Can I get you some tea Papa?”
“That would be fine Jess.” He said sitting down at the table. He waited for her to pour herself a cup and sit down before he attempted to speak. He looked at her intently and saw her for the first time in many months, really saw her. If anything she was even more beautiful! There was something else though, she had a more mature look to her and it made him sad to think that she really had grown up. He had been too submersed in his grief to watch the transition from girl to young woman. He cut short those thoughts. He had allowed himself to suffer enough in the past months, and that had caused his children more grief than should have been. They had lost their Mama but he, in his grief had caused them to lose their Papa too.
He almost felt like a stranger to this young woman who sat across from him. Lilly would have been so disappointed in him. He cleared his throat and looked at his daughter.
“Jessica, I am sorry for the way that I have been. I know how difficult I have made things for you since we lost your Mother. I am going to try to do all that I can to make it up to you and the boys. Can you forgive me?”
She left her chair and ran to him, throwing her arms around him. She was crying, but tears of joy. "Oh
