point I met Tracy and fell head over heels for her - a young dynamic Chinese lady. We met at the Hyatt Hotel in Hong Kong; she was dancing the night away I could not get over her energy and super smile. It’s a great story so I will share a little with you. I was so interested in talking to her, so I stood next to her and said “Hi” and all I got was a puzzled look, you see Tracy spoke no English; I really wanted to talk to her so I paid a waiter to translate for me. When the place was closing we said good bye to each other and exchanged phone numbers which was a bit strange as how could we communicate? Meeting Tracy sealed the choice of taking the job in Hong Kong and the next day I got the Company receptionist to call her and ask her to meet me for lunch, we had a great time courtesy of another waiter translator! Tracy and I became inseparable; she picked up English so fast that within three months she was so fluent. Six months passed and on my birthday in front of a house full of people I asked her to become Mrs. Hodge, I asked her in front of all those people as I knew she had to say yes so I wouldn’t lose face ha-ha.
Tracy and I got married in Hong Kong and were so happy; life was great as was the job.
Quickly the bank balance rose as did my self-esteem. Many times I could have zipped home to Australia to see and hug my children, visit Mum and Dad but chose to earn money and party at Lang Kwai Fong where the beer, cocaine and the Bullshit flowed smoothly and I enjoyed them all.
Soon after getting married an opportunity came up in Malaysia to be the CEO of a listed Company. It was time for a change from Hong Kong - the “party” town was almost getting to me so for the sake of longevity! My health? It was a good idea to make a move and off we went to Kuala Lumpur. I love the place and always have. The food is in my mind some of the best in the world and I have some great friends there. Tracy being the dynamo she is got very bored very quickly and she decided she wanted to open a little shop selling products from her hometown of Guizhou in China. It sounded like a great idea and she could make some money and get over the boredom so she opened a lovely little shop called Oriental Dream. Within a short period of time she had become the darling of the Expat Community in KL and she would often have ten ladies in her little shop drinking tea all afternoon, but god bless her she actually sold some things and scored a hit with the local media and overall she did well. The downside was Asia and my hunger for the dreaded dollar and success, made each planned trip home more and more delayed. Troubles with Luke, Mum and Dad getting older really should have woken me up to reality but again the old catch cry of “Plenty of Time” always set in and the original couple of weeks in Asia had now dragged out to almost five years. Let me say right now I am not proud of this fact.
For me the CEO role was a disaster, it turned out to be the most Politically based place I had ever worked in, with each day having to fight another plot or plan, each day having to stave off another assassination attempt by some glory hunting General Manager and in the end my temper got the better of me and I told them in very Australian terms see you later.
Now faced with the, ‘What do I do now” problem, Tracy set me a challenge. I had always bragged that I could sell and market just about anything so she said “Can you make Oriental Dream Famous”?
I really liked the stuff she was selling, it was special and unique awesome embroidery and silverware with a long history and wonderful stories associated with the design - in fact some of the designs were over 3000 years old. I thought yes it’s possible to make a brand out of this. I sat down and wrote a business plan, went out and got a couple of Investors, the only problem was that to really make it as a brand? The Business would have to be based in Guizhou Province in China, as you have to be at the heart of the action, the culture to really make it work. So again I moved, to what would have to be the most challenging place on the planet to live as a Foreigner, China.
Now if you know somebody or have lived in China you may disagree with me, but I guess you or him or her have lived in Beijing or Shanghai. Well let me tell you it’s like Chalk and Cheese, living in a Province is like living on another planet - it’s very very tough. Guizhou is the poorest province in China.
It is 1500 feet above sea level, as an Australian I was a minority tribe, the food, living standard all very tough but I was determined I could make this Oriental Dream Work.
Five more years quickly passed, and we did make it famous. Tracy and I became household faces in Guizhou and most parts of China. We were on TV every other week, we had specials made about us that were seen by over 550 million people, and in fact CCTV6 which is the same as HBO approached us to make a Movie based around our lives. It was a very special time with some unbelievable memories, however it has also many tough times.
I struggled with the food, the loneliness, I was so homesick, but each time I thought I had the chance to go home, another event, another Interview would come up and the plan would fade. I was sick so many times, food poisoning, dehydration but the lonliness was the biggest killer. I really felt that I was almost a machine that would be turned on for special events and then put back in the Closet to wait for another major opening.
It all became a bit too much and I decided to spend time in a village around one hour from town. I could ride a motorbike and horses there, I would teach English to keep myself busy and return to the City when I was needed for a special event or meeting.
The time, the pressure, health issues, being away from Australia for so long all were getting to me and having a great impact on my relationship with Tracy. I began to hate the business and worse still became very bitter towards her and all those that surrounded her. I held Tracy at such a high level; she was the most amazing dynamic love I had so it was not a good time, nor frame of mind to be in. Something had to give, I needed a break from it all, not to run away just to get a new perspective some might say but in my case it was to get my soul back. Again I thought I could make it back home but then another chance arrived. A good friend in the US asked me to help him out with his Company for a few weeks. He offered me the ticket and said he would send me back via Australia after we got things sorted in a few weeks. I had read all his documents and it sound like a bit of fun for a few weeks and would help me get out of the rut I had dug for myself so I talked to Tracy she agreed I needed a break and away I went.
Well I don’t why, but I must have ran over a black cat, walked under a ladder, got a voodoo doll against me but when I arrived in LA nothing was like it was told. The business was a mess he had no money. I had to live with his family - it was a disaster. I used money that I had taken with me to try and help but after a period of time it finally broke the camel’s back and I decided the only thing I truly needed to do? Was getting back home, to Australia.
I had not seen my children in so long. The conversation had gotten less and less, the broken promises now made me a man of little if any integrity with my Children. The same could be said of my family who really didn’t want to know me, and as for friends? Well they had long since stopped returning my emails; my life was in an essence a disaster.
Do you understand now why I opened this chat up with my encounter with Mr. Covey and my respect for “seek first to understand before being understood?” Do you feel that I have taken my share of knocks, made selfish stupid choices and totally understand the need and desire for The Comeback?
I understand Divorce and the Breakup of relationships. I know the devastation it can bring I have been through it three times but have Comeback to have these relationships as friendships I cherish, including Tracy who is now my best friend and closest business partner.
I understand the pain, the hurt and loss you feel when you have children that are not only part of those relationship breakups, but more so I didn’t see them, hold them or hug them for almost twelve years. I understand the feeling of being hated and not part of a Childs life. I have four wonderful children who demonstrated that lesson to me, but I have the glory of a Comeback as a father, the beauty of a relationship with four children who not only now love me but respect me.
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