she wasn’t out to hurt them but more to protect them, using any means necessary.
When it came to this situation with Jo, they knew (even without direct knowledge of what happened) that she would have paid a hefty price for threatening their survival in the way she did and Demise would have certainly dished out some form of physical punishment.
“Let’s face it,” Sam continued, still pissed off. “The stupid bitch put us all at risk!” Sam drained her coffee in a couple of mouthfuls and then went into the kitchen to make another one. She slammed her cup down on the bench so hard, it cracked. “Fuck!” she cursed. “I loved that mug.” Angrily, she threw it in the bin, before reaching into the cupboard and grabbing another one.
“We should have shares in Wedgewood, with the amount of china she goes through.” Jordan said, running her finger absently over the top of her own chipped mug. Linda gave a quiet snigger, before quickly silencing it with a sip of tea. It wouldn’t help things if Sam knew she was being talked about, even in jest.
“Without the cursing, I agree with Sam. It baffles me how this happened. We have more awareness of what is happening out here than some of the others. Yet we had no inkling something was wrong until we saw Demise running out the door.” Toni said thoughtfully.
Linda agreed. “I feel like we dropped the ball, don’t you?”
Sam plonked herself back down in the chair opposite them, before adding “So, how the fuck did it happen?”
Linda and Jordan both looked troubled, and Toni looked impassive.
“And if we don’t know how it happened, how do we stop it happening again?” Jordan finally asked.
“It’s like watching a fucking train wreck. You can see it happening, you know what is gonna be the end result, but fucked if you can do anything to stop it.”
They sat in silence, agreeing with Sam. How could they stop something if they didn’t know how it happened in the first place?
Toni
Toni was in the next session with the doctor, and he wasted little time in asking her for any information she had.
“It seems to be accepted that Jo managed to get that far due to the noise from within. It can be…distracting.”
“How is she? Jo?”
Toni didn’t want to appear callous, but Jo wasn’t part of the Collective and so she struggled to care about her welfare. It probably seemed cruel to an outsider, but they were there to keep the body safe and functioning, not worry about the emotional state of the original, the one born into the body.
David continued prodding. “I was told there were repercussions, at the hands of Demise.”
“How did Trudi put it?” Toni thought about it for a moment, searching for the words Trudi used. “Something like, ‘Jo paid dearly for her transgressions.’”
David looked sadly at Toni. “I wish that wasn’t the case, Toni.”
“It’s a necessary evil, surely you know that?”
“Actually no, I don’t know that. Whilst I understand why it is done and I understand it is something the Collective believes is necessary, I don’t think violence is ever the answer.”
“With the struggle to understand how Jo managed to take things as far as she did, Demise punishing Jo may have been the only option. Maybe next time she will think twice before making such a foolish decision.”
“I understand that, yet there has to be another way of…” David waved his hands, trying to find the right words, “…controlling the Collective.”
“Firstly, I’m sure you are aware that Jo is not a member of the Collective. Secondly, why? Why does there have to be another way?”
“Controlling by fear? That is the answer?”
“It may not be perfect, but it works. It helps keep order within the Collective, stops us descending into anarchy.”
“And Jo? How badly did she get punished?”
“I don’t know. I haven’t seen her, as I said.”
“Toni, I know you haven’t seen her. Yet I also know you have ways of getting information that many of the others do not.”
“Are you trying to appeal to my sense of vanity?” Toni queried, her eyebrow raised in what could be only described as amusement.
David smiled ruefully, “Maybe. But it is the truth, isn’t it? Has Trudi or perhaps even Demise told you about how Jo is? Other than she ‘paid for her transgressions’?”
“Demise hasn’t said anything, but then I would not expect her to.”
David sighed. He enjoyed his talks with Toni. She often challenged him and he did not feel he had to tread as carefully as he did with some other members of the Collective. Her very limited range of emotions meant he had never known her to be afraid or scared. However, sometimes it was like pulling teeth. He certainly never got anywhere fast! He decided to try one more time, gripping that tooth a little harder.
“And Trudi? Has she said anything else? Maybe about how Jo is?”
Toni shifted in her seat a little. “I’m sure she’ll be ok.”
David wished he could make them understand that having one member acting violently towards others was not the answer. Yet he had tried countless times with numerous members, but they all said the same thing, more or less. They seemed to consider it, as Toni said, a necessary evil.
“I would like to spend more time with Jo. I spoke to Linda about it, but I can’t help Jo when I only see her once now and again and for only a few minutes.”
“I’m not sure I understand your interest in her. She is of little consequence to the Collective.”
David looked at Toni somewhat sadly and said “And yet you are all concerned that she very nearly took the physical life. I would say that makes her a matter of great consequence.”
Inner Life
“The crying is ongoing, and the level of trauma being relived at the moment has increased significantly. Subsequently the noise level has increased and so, trying to keep vigilant with what is being done out front is much harder.” Trudi was talking with Toni, Linda, Jordan and Sam.
“Well, that’s fucked up, coz there isn’t much we can do about the noise level, or the increased memories, is there?” Sam asked, her frustration coming through.
“There are no other options.” Trudi continued “We simply cannot run the risk of her trying that again.”
“I understand what you are saying, and from a practical point of view, it makes sense. But it’s a huge step to take, isn’t it?” Jordan was saying.
“We have never done this before, Trudi. Do we really have the right?” Linda asked, shocked by what she was hearing.
“Do
