with the doctor, then another snapshot of her driving home, but that was it.
The doctor’s words came back to her. He was convinced she had these alters within that would take charge, but that was crazy. There was no way that was true. She tried to tell him that, tried to tell him that he was wrong about her and that she was a liar and made stuff up, just like her mum always said. But each and every time she tried she failed. Next time, she decided. Next time I will make him understand I made all this up and how sorry I am for wasting his time.
She felt the wound on her arm, which was still covered in a bandage. It continued to throb but the pain was less than the last time she was aware of it. She still couldn’t recall what actually happened, and she wished she could just accept that, but it was so hard.
‘It’s ok, hang in there. Don’t give up.’ A kindly voice spoke in her head.
‘Oh fuck off. She just needs a good kick up the ass, the stupid bitch.’ A harsher voice cut through.
The voices again – the voices that threatened to drive her crazy. Why couldn’t she stop the voices? Without realising it, she started hitting her head with her fists, in a vain attempt to stop the conversations that kept echoing through her mind.
Don’t tell, don’t tell.
Linda
The microwave beeped, which snapped Linda out of her reverie. She loved cooking and was strictly trying to follow a diet. They had gained a lot of weight over the last ten years, as everyone in the Collective was eating whatever they wanted. The extra weight was making life more difficult and exacerbating some physical health issues, so a couple of years ago Linda held a meeting within about it. She would be the first to admit she was surprised when the majority had agreed to try and take better care of the body. Linda had taken charge of the health regime, and she loved to spend time planning the menu and then cooking the meals.
However it wasn’t always a sure thing she would be out long enough to finish what she started. For Linda it was a good day when she was out here and could plan, prepare and cook a meal from beginning to end. And if she was really lucky, she would even get to eat it. The whole process, from start to finish gave her a tremendous amount of satisfaction and once again, she found herself thinking she could have been happy to have a career with food.
However she knew she was an altar, she wasn’t the original one born into the body. And in truth, even though she did have desires of what she would do if she was the only one in the body, she could not really imagine what life would be like if she was on her own. She was so used to hearing noise from within most of the time, and David, their doctor had said that was something non-multiples didn’t experience in the same way. What would life be like without that noise?
The microwave beeped again, and the words “Remove food” flashed up on the display. Linda tried to pull her mind back (did non-multiples do that? Get lost in their thoughts? She would have to ask David) and focus on the task at hand. Pulling the container of steamed vegetables out of the microwave, she put them aside while she focused on the meat in the air fryer. She turned it over and was pleased to see that the chicken looked well cooked and still succulent. Using the tongs, she removed it and placed it on a plate, along with the steamed vegetables. Taking the plate and cutlery to the chair, she sat down to eat, hoping it was, indeed her that was able to eat the food tonight. Lately she had been cooking and then been replaced out here with someone else, so she didn’t get to eat what she had lovingly slaved over. Mind you, she had noticed someone else often did the dishes in those instances, so that was a positive!
Jordan
Jordan found herself sitting in the lounge, with a plate of chicken and steamed vegetables. “Shit,” she muttered. She agreed to follow the diet because being overweight made them much more vulnerable. After all, they couldn’t run or fight if needed when they were so out of shape. But just sometimes, a burger would be awesome.
More out of laziness than obedience, she ate the healthy dinner, keeping the thought in the back of her mind that she will hunt out some ice cream or something for dessert.
She flicked through Netflix and found the classic version of House of Wax had been added to the playlist. Smiling to herself, she selected it and happily devoured the movie at the same time as she devoured the food.
Dianne
Shift, switch. Di saw the empty plate next to the chair, and an old movie playing on the television. ‘Poor Linda’, she thought, fully realising it would have been Linda that did all the prep work for this meal, but she wouldn’t have been the one who ate it. Di knew this simply by what was on the television – Linda didn’t watch old movies like this.
She went to pick up the plate and get started on the dishes when she glanced over at the phone. She saw a text from the mother, and immediately a groan escaped through her clenched teeth. The mother knew just how to upset the Collective. This was probably why she found herself out here – Di had to deal with the mother the majority of the time, even though she hated doing it.
She put the phone down and then purposefully picked it back up again, and deleted the message from the mother. She didn’t want Jo or Josephine to see it, as they would feel compelled to answer her. Di knew damn well the teens were struggling at the moment, and any contact with the mother would just make it worse.
Putting the phone down again, she took the plate out to the kitchen and then started to clean up before she was gone from the front once more.
Danielle
Don’t tell, don’t tell.
Danielle’s eyes shot open. She whirled around, but found she was alone in the kitchen. She always felt like someone was lurking around the corner, getting ready to jump out at her.
Don’t tell, don’t tell.
She knew what was coming, and she tried to stop it, but she couldn’t.
The movie started playing in her head.
Flick. The-man-with-the-red-shirt was speaking, his fingers to his lips as he smirked at her.
Don’t tell, don’t tell.
Flick. The-man-with-the-red-shirt took his fingers from his lips, and slowly moved his hand down to his pants, to his belt. He gave her a smile and licked his lips. Then very slowly, he started to unbuckle his belt.
Dani gave a moan, and sank to the floor. She drew her knees up to her chest and put her head on her knees, trying to make herself as small as possible.
Don’t tell, don’t tell.
Jo
Jo opened her eyes and noticed she was sitting on the floor with her knees pulled up to her chest. She could feel the heart was beating fast, and she took a shaky breath as she tried to straighten her legs. This was another thing she didn’t understand. She would find herself in sitting in strange, almost unnatural positions, and sometimes her heart was beating so fast she could barely breathe. What was that about? It was like she was really scared of something, but she had no idea what it was.
Trying
