‘the strictest honour is to be observed.’
‘No doubt; but an agent, you know, cannot pledge himself for his principal, – all is subject to approbation.’
‘Yes; but, Mr. Jobbry, you are yourself the principal.’
‘In a sense, I’ll never deny that to you; but Mr. Probe only knows me as the friend of a gentleman who has a turn for public speaking, which I have not, and who may turn a penny out of his talent: in short, Mr. Curry, something between five hundred and seven hundred is more like a rational price, – I’ll give no more.’
‘But you have made an offer, sir.’
‘Oh! that was in a preliminary way.’
‘Mr. Probe, however, may insist upon the offer being fulfilled.’
‘You must not speak that way to me, or maybe I may, by petition, accuse him to the Honourable House of trafficking in seats, and call you by name as a witness. What would either he or his client say to that?’
I saw that he changed colour, and that his nether lip quivered; so I said to him,
‘Between ourselves, Mr. Curry, I cannot see the use of shilly-shallying about this, – I’ll only give five hundred guineas per session, which, you will allow, is very liberal for a man of honour, who has it in his power, if not well used, to make his complaint to the House.’
‘I can only say, Mr. Jobbry, that from all I know of the subject, Mr. Probe’s client will never accept your offer.’
‘Very well, that’s in his option; but I have an option likewise.’
‘What is that?’
‘Didn’t I hint about petitioning?’
‘Mr. Jobbry, such a proceeding would be most unparliamentary.’
‘No, no, my friend, – don’t let us put our heads in the grass, like the foolish ostriches, and think, because we do so, that our hinder ends are not seen: the matter in hand is contrary to law, and therefore we must not apply the rules of law to any thing so nefarious; howsomever, I’ll give the five hundred guineas, as I have said.’
‘You will never get the seat for that.’
‘That may be true; but the Honourable House, like a Spartan judge, is desperate in punishing a detected delinquent: in short, Mr. Curry, if ye have anything to say anent this negotiation, ye’ll advise a compliance with my proposition.’
I could discern that Mr. Curry was in a frying condition; but he was a man of experience, and it was not in my power to draw out of him that he was at all art or part in the business; so, not to waste time with more talk, I passed into the news of the day, and Mr. Curry presently took his leave; while I very much wondered at my own instinct in acquiring the art of parliamenting so readily; and I had soon good cause, as I shall presently shew, for the address with which I was on that occasion gifted.
CHAPTER FIVE
There was something which struck me in that conversation with Mr. Curry not altogether conciliatory; and after pondering over it for some time, I came to a conclusion that presently Mr. Probe would come to me with a new offer. I thereupon resolved to bide in the coffee-house all day, that I might not be wanting in the needful season. The day, no doubt, was no temptation, inasmuch as it was rainy, and the streets in a very slobbery condition, and I had no particular business to call me abroad. Accordingly, it fell out just as I expected. About the heel of the evening, the waiter came to see what I would have for dinner, and said to me, in a kind of parenthesis, as I was looking over the bill of fare, that he supposed I should not want the private room that evening.
‘My lad,’ quo’ I, ‘that’s very correct of you, for I had forgot that maybe the same gentleman who was with me yesterday may call again; I therefore think it will be just as commodious to have my dinner laid in the parlour as in this, the coffee-room; so you’ll just attend to that.’
‘Very well,’ said he, and did as I desired; and well it was for me that he had been so considerate, for, before the dinner was ready, who should come in but Mr. Probe; and after various hithers and yons, I invited him to dine with me, the night being very wet; to the which, after some entreaty, he was consenting, and thereupon we went up into the private room, and had a couple of candles and our dinner duly served.
For some time, and especially while we were eating, I thought that it was judicious to say nothing to him concerning the manor of Humbug; but when we were satisfied, the cloth withdrawn, and Carbonell again upon the table, we opened the debate.
‘Mr. Probe,’ said I, ‘since I had the felicity of conversing with you concerning that weak plan of my friend’s about going into Parliament, – for weak I say it is, as I see no whereby he can make profit of his outlay, – I have thought I cannot better do a friend’s part than advise him to have nothing to do with such an inconvenience.’
‘My good Mr. Jobbry,’ said he, ‘no one can dispute your prudence in that matter; for no man in his senses, I mean in his sober senses, would ever think of spending his nights in hearing young men, of a very moderate capacity, talking by the hour; but that is not our present purpose: my business is, as they say in the House, to report progress; and what I have to mention is, that I have seen my client and communicated your offer.’
‘My offer, Mr. Probe? what do you mean? surely you could never consider our few preliminary words as a serious overture?’
‘Mr. Jobbry,’ replied the ruddy little man, ‘did not you tell me that you would give a thousand pounds per session for I’ll not say what?’
‘Most certainly I did, Mr. Probe; most certainly I gave it as my opinion that a thousand pounds was quite enough; but there is a wide difference between giving an opinion on the value of a thing, and buying that thing. Now, I was clearly made up in my mind that a thousand pounds was the full value of your client’s sitting part; but the worth to my friend was another question.’
‘Mr. Jobbry, I considered we had done some business together; you made an offer – I reported that offer – and you have your answer.’
‘Very right, Mr. Probe, you speak like a man of business; I like to deal with off-hand people – there is nothing like frankness; but if you thought that I made a definitive offer, you were never more mistaken in your life.’
‘You don’t say so? – this is very awkward.’
‘Oh, not at all, not at all; we were only talking upon the general question; and I think, Mr. Probe, considering it as an opening conversation, we advanced pretty well to the point: but you must know, sir, that I could not bind my principal without his own consent.’
At these words, I observed Mr. Probe looking at me with a kind of left-handed peering, which left no doubt in my mind that Mr. Curry had reported progress too, and asked leave to sit again; but I was on my guard.
‘I shall not controvert that, Mr. Jobbry,’ said Mr. Probe, ‘but the mistake has been committed, certainly.’
‘If you think so, Mr. Probe, I shall very much regret it on your account; but with me, in my usual way, all was plain sailing, – and if you will ask our mutual friend, Mr. Curry, who was here with me in the morning, he will tell you that I told him five hundred guineas was the full and adequate price of the article.’
