I would not ask for such a paltry place as this; but I’m a man that wants nothing: only it would be a sort of satisfaction to oblige this very meritorious man, Mr. Gled.’
We had then some further talk; and he gave me a promise, that if the place was not given away, my friend should have it.
‘I’m very much obliged to you, my lord, for this earnest of your good-will to me; and really, my lord, had I thought you were so well inclined, I would have looked for a more convincing reason’: at which he laughed, and so we parted. But, two days after, when the vacancy was declared, he said to me, with a sly go, ‘That I was a man very hard to be convinced, and required a powerful argument.’
‘My lord,’ quo’ Ι, ‘I did not hope to be taunted in this manner for applying to your lordship to serve an honest man with such a bit trifling post.’
‘Trifling?’ he exclaimed; ‘it is a thousand a-year at least!’
‘Well, my lord, if it be, Mr. Gled is as well worthy of it as another; I want nothing myself; but if your lordship thinks that the Government is to be served by over-valuing small favours, my course in Parliament is very clear.’
His lordship upon this was of a lowlier nature than I could have expected, and therefore I reined myself in to moderation; for I saw I had gotten an advantage, and in more ways than one. This was the case; for in my Indian ignorance I thought a distributor of stamps was some beggarly concern of a hundred a-year, but a thousand was really past hope; it was, however, not judicious to think so before my lord.
CHAPTER SEVEN
When I came to consider that the place I had gotten for my relation James Gled was so very lucrative, I really felt as if I had committed a mistake, and was very angry with myself; but in reflecting a little more upon the subject, I saw that it might be turned to great public good: for inasmuch as the places and posts of Government belong to those members and others that get nothing else for their services in support of Government, a judicious man will husband his share of them, so as to make the distribution go as far as possible. Accordingly, as I well knew that two hundred and fifty pounds a-year would have been a most liberal godsend to James, I thought that if it were three it would be a great thing, and that there would be seven hundred over, to apply to other public purposes. I thereupon wrote to him, and said that I had got the place for him, but that his salary was to be three hundred a-year, the remainder being subject to another disposal.
In due course of post I received a most thankful letter for my beneficence, agreeing most willingly to be content with his share of the allowed emoluments. When I got this letter, and got James established in his place, I then bethought me of the most judicious appropriation that could be made of the surplus; and there anent I called to mind a son that I had in the natural way, who was in the army. To him I portioned out three hundred pounds per annum, for he had been a very heavy cess on me, notwithstanding he was serving his king and country; and this, it will be allowed, was as correct a doing as any arrangement of the kind; far more so than that of those who have large pensions themselves, from which they make allowances to their sons, although these sons be of the patriots that make speeches to mobs and multitudes, declaring themselves as pure men, unsullied by any ailment drawn from the people; which is, in a sense, no doubt, the fact, for their allowances are from their fathers.
Having given the three hundred to Captain Jobbry, I then thought of old Mrs. Hayning, my aunt, who was the widow of the minister of Dargorble, and had nothing but her widow’s fund to live upon. So I gave her one hundred pounds, which, it will be allowed, was to her a great thing, and it was a very just thing; for as the clergy have no right to make money of their stipends, if they keep up their station and act charitably, the nation should provide for their widows. The remaining three hundred I stipulated with James Gled should be laid aside in the bank, year by year, to be a fund from which I should, from time to time, contribute to public subscriptions; and few things in my life have I been more satisfied with: for so long as James Gled lived, it will be seen by the newspapers what a liberal subscriber I was thereby enabled to be to public charities, by which I acquired great rule and power in them; and many a poor man’s child, and orphan likewise, have I been the means of getting well educated. Indeed, I take some blame to myself that I did not more rigidly enforce the same principle of distribution in the salaries of all the posts that I got, at different times, for my kindred and constituents.
There is, however, no condition of life without a drawback on its satisfactions; and of this truth I had soon due experience. From time to time it had been a custom with the member for Frailtown, when he happened to be of ministerial principles, to give a bit small postie to some well-recommended inhabitant of the borough; and accordingly, some anxiety was always taken to ascertain that their new member was a man of the convenient sort. Thus it came to pass, that I had not well warmed my seat when Mr. Spicer, a shopkeeper, and a member of the corporation, called on me one morning and introduced himself; for, as I had never been at Frailtown, I was, of course, in dead ignorance of all my constituents; but when he had made himself known, I received him in a very civilised manner, and inquired in what way I could serve the borough.
Thereupon we had a conversation concerning a canal that was to pass at some short distance from Frailtown; and Mr. Spicer shewed me a very great advantage that it would be of, could ways and means be raised, to make a cut into the town; plainly, as I could see, thinking that, if I did not do it at my own cost, I might, by a liberal contribution, be helping thereunto.
This I thought, at the time, in my own heart, was a very barefaced hope of the corporation to entertain; for I had paid the full price of my seat. But as I had ends to serve with the borough, as well as the corporation thought it had ends to serve with me, I replied to Mr. Spicer, in a very debonair manner:
‘Mr. Spicer,’ quo’ I, ‘it really gives me great pleasure to hear that you, in that part of England, are in such a very thriving condition; by the by, in what county is Frailtown?’
When he had made answer that it was in Vamptonshire, I said, ‘That I had no notion it was such a prospering district; and that surely I would do all in my power, as a Member of Parliament, to further any bill for the benefit of a community with which I was so nearly and dearly connected’: adding, ‘It was, however, with me a rule never to contribute to the improvement of any other property than my own, especially as I was at that time laying out a great sum in repairs upon my house, in addition to the improvements on my estate. But,’ continued I, ‘you are free to use my name as patronising the undertaking.’
‘Well,’ said he, ‘that’s, no doubt, something; but though it may not be commodious to you to advance money, I have thought – considering your great influence with the Government – that some time or another you may have it in your power to befriend an honest man.’
‘Nothing,’ said I, ‘would give me greater pleasure: what sort of a post are you looking to?’ I added, laughing: ‘something, no doubt, more lucrative than the gallows?’
‘Oh, me! I am looking for none, thank Heaven; I am content with my own business for the present; but I have a daughter married to a most deserving young man, who would be right glad to be made post-master in the village of Physickspring, which is within two miles of our town, and which gets its letters by an old man from our office.’
‘I should think, Mr. Spicer, such a place would not be worth the asking for.’
‘Nor would it,’ said he, ‘but Physickspring is growing a watering-place, and it is for futurity that he will accept it.’
‘But does your son-in-law live there, that he would take such a place?’
‘Not yet, Mr. Jobbry; but he intends to take up a shop of perfumes and nick-knackeries, jewellery, and other gaieties;
